Growing Up In A Dysfunctional Family

Have you ever experienced family conflict at some point in your life? If so, has it ever affected you mentally? Emotionally? Many people would have answered “yes,” especially those with an Asian background. Dysfunctional families have plagued Asian communities, leaving a large number of younger generations stressed out. According to Chen of the Asian Journal of Social Psychology on page 133, she restates from the Hong Kong Samaritans that “the most common reasons for suicide...in 2002 was family disputes, account for 14.1% of the total cases” (Hong Kong Samaritans, 2004). Several symptoms include self-esteem issues, anxiety, depressive thoughts, leading to suicide ideation in the extreme case. As for Annie Choi of Happy Birthday Or Whatever,

I would not say that growing up in a dysfunctional family is the absolute worst. In fact, there is a positive aspect, such as developing a thicker skin through tough love. Each individual interprets their own family differently; one may deal with it with confidence while the latter loses self-control. However, I mainly agree that growing up in a dysfunctional family negatively affects child development, due to the fact that children are exposed to the harsh reality of honor and criticism at an early age. Family honor and control takes a toll on mental health, therefore it affects students of Asian descent. Aycigegi Dinn and Caldwell-Harris restates from Lee and Liu on page 580, that Asian Americans tend to “include high levels of control and expectation of superior academic achievement” (Lee and Liu, 2001). They also include a reference on page 580 that “Asian American high school and college students... exhibit more depression and anxiety issues than White peers” (Kanazawa, White, & Hampton, 2007; Okazaki, 1997; Kim et al, 2013). This stems from that fact that Asian parents commonly want their children to be the best, or close to perfection. As for Choi, she received an exam grade of a B-plus

Aycicegi restates that Suh claims that “cultural norms in East Asia have developed over centuries to maximize social stability, at the cost of curtailing individual expression”(Aycicegi 581). In Choi’s case, she would be given hand-me-downs to wear instead of buying new clothes. She claimed that her mother “dressed [her] they way [Choi’s aunts] dressed their children. Exactly like them. As in, I wore all their old clothes” (Choi 48). Her mother also forced her to attend Korean school so that she would be able to be fluent in her mother’s tongue, even though Annie continues to use English and did not see the point learning Korean. She claimed that she “saw no need to go to Korean school and learn letters and words [she] [did not] care about and had no need for” (Choi 71). Her mother was concerned because Choi would end up forgetting about her Korean roots when she is becoming immersed in the western culture. Her parents wanted to be “someone who is obedient and modest—someone who is courteous and docile, and maybe a little bookish” (Choi 171). It is common in collectivist cultures to have parents who have common standards imposed on the younger generations. Collectivism is the practice of group priority rather than the individual. Individualism is the principle of being independent and self-reliant. Considering the Asian background, collectivism is the “we” factor.