Dora Notepad: A Short Story

My childish scrawl carved the words, “i love cooper” into my Dora notepad. Upon reading my statement, a sense of panic enveloped me; I hurriedly climbed the nearest couch and jammed my secret deep between the tight cushions. I could have disposed of the evidence by throwing it away or flushing it down the toilet, but the remote always seemed to disappear into the couch without a trace, so why couldn’t my secret? My anxiety was extinguished by childish reasoning. Carrying on with my night, I played dress up in my room. “Zenah, come down here,” my dad called with a stiff tone. Inviting me closer, he sat me firmly on his lap. Upon spotting the note in his hand, it clicked: from his tone, angry eyebrows, and ochre eyes fixated on the note,

That was until, sophomore year; after observing one of my awkward conversations that consisted of minimal eye-contact, inflamed cheeks, and constant stuttering, my friend Savannah walked with me to my locker and unabashedly asked, “Why do you always get so red when you talk to people?”

Caught off guard, I weakly replied, “I don’t know.” Growing up I’ve been charming, funny, and witty when speaking to my close family and friends. But as soon as someone unfamiliar tuned in, I became a mess. Savannah didn’t trigger a reliving-the-moment

In psychology, I learned that I must have generalized the mantra, “no boys,” to my father telling me not to interact with unfamiliar people. While my father said this with pure intentions, his words begot a negative impact. Bearing this in mind, I approached my second question. Why did it affect me so potently? Well, let’s just say psychology has been an enlightening class. Moreover, I learned the culture one is raised in has a profound effect on their thoughts and behaviors. It seems the words from my father, combined with the strict values of my culture resulted in my reservations of interacting with strangers. Equipped with this knowledge, I could finally comprehend the root of the dilemma. As I result, I refused to suffer in this rut, instead I adopted strategies to improve my interpersonal interactions. I constantly reminded myself to hold my head up, put my shoulders back, look people in the eyes, and relax. Though difficult, I persevered the mission better myself.

Recalling the times my constant Mona Lisa-esque eye contact was borderline freaky, makes me cringe, but admittedly, the practice helped. I’ve cultivated my soft skills and now feel that people perceive my intentions, expressions, and thoughts more precisely. I like to imagine