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Reasons for divorce
Annotated outline on infidelity
The importance and significance of forgiveness in resolving conflict
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Forgiveness Forgiveness is considered as one of the most important issues for continuing a positive relationship with another person. For which, the ability of a person to forgive one's offender is a mark of personal qualities that every individual has, in which it is used for a successful relationship (Entezar, et. al., 2011). As suggested by Kearns & Fincham (2004), an individual who is a victim of a transgression of an offender must learn how to accept, condone or excuse an offense in order for them to forgive. On the other hand, Gordon et al. (2000) contradicted, that forgiveness is very much important in some instances in the relationship where marital assumptions or relationship standards have been breached. An article written by …show more content…
It also occurs when a married person involved in extramarital affairs that cause a strong emotional reaction and negative thoughts toward that person. Individual who are in a committed relationship also viewed emotional relationship, as well as sexual acts to be a form of cheating when an individual engage in extramarital affairs (Whitty, 2005). Similarly, Buss (2000), defined infidelity as the source of destruction and a threat to the quality and stability of the relationship of the persons involved. The idea of Buss is supported by (Gunderson & Ferrari, 2008), that infidelity is one of the most common forms of dishonesty in a relationship that refers to partner’s cheating behavior outside a committed relationship. Thus, the effects of infidelity on marriage became one of the greatest issues in a couple’s marital …show more content…
He stated that infidelity is a cheating act that takes place despite a commitment to exclusive devotion. Likewise, in violating relationship norms, being unfaithful to one’s romantic partner, especially when you are already married is considered as one of the most common and known to be serious transgression that occurred in a relationship. In both dating and marital relationships, recent estimates show that infidelity is widely prevalent (Atkins, et. al., 2001; Blow & Hartnett, 2005). This is known to be the most common reason that most of the couples stated when they are asked why they would be ending their
Instead of directly answering the question, the author is attempting to understand the different components and details of adultery and sexual immorality. The analysis is evaluating moral and immoral actions and behaviour when it comes to marriage. According to Wasserstrom (1985), “immorality of such things as breaking a promise, deceiving someone,
The essay "Forgiveness," written by June Callwood, explores the concept of forgiving and how it influences people's lives for the better. Her work describes many components of forgiveness, such as how difficult it can be to come to terms with, why it is such a crucial part of humanity, and how it affects all people. Her essay aims to prove that forgiveness is the key to living peacefully and explains specific examples of people who have encountered extremely difficult situations in their lives- all of whom found it within themselves to forgive. To clearly portray this message in her writing, Callwood uses several strategies. She includes fear inducing statistics, makes many references to famous events and leaders, and uses a serious convincing tone, all of which are very effective.
By applying Barbara Fredrickson work to the society that we live in today, there is lots of infidelity in marriages. Here is another source “Mhere Extra Marital Affair Detail Emerge.” This is about a man who had been in extra marital affairs. His wife found message in his phone that revealed a passionate affairs with another woman. When he misplaced his phone and couldn’t find it he threatened to beat her. Fortunate for his wife, she found the phone while cleaning up the house and read all the messages that proved to her that he was cheating on her with his backing vocalist. Barbara Fredrickson explains “If you have come to view love as a commitment, promise, or pledge, through marriage or any other loyalty ritual, prepare for an about face. I need you to step back prom al your preconception and consider an upgrade” (107). In this light Fredrickson wants us to understand that love should not be compare to anything, and being committed in a relationship
In short story “The Cheater’s Guide to Love,” written by Junot Diaz, we observe infidelity and the negative effects it has on relationships. Anyone who cheats will eventually get caught and will have to deal with the consequences. People tend to overlook the fact that most relationships are unlikely to survive after infidelity. Trust becomes an issue after someone has been unfaithful. Yunior, the main character in this story, encounters conflict as he struggles to move on with his life after his fiancée discovers that he has been unfaithful. Over a six-year period, the author reveals how his unfaithfulness has an effect on his health and his relationships.
He addresses the idea by posing two questions: “1. in what context does adultery fall into being immoral; 2. what adultery is exactly with the help of arguments supporting his main idea” (Wasserstrom, 1985, p.240). According to Wasserstrom (1985), adultery occurs when a promise is broken and the action would be considered “morally wrong” in extramarital relations (p.241). Adultery in marital relations occurs when one person in the marriage engages in sexual activity with someone outside their marriage, hence breaking the agreement that was made by either person to not commit the act (Wasserstrom, 1985, p.241). This is generally the traditional concept of adultery across many different cultures in monogamous marriages. People enter into an agreement to getting married with the one person, therefore trusting that person to not engage in any sexual relations after marriage. The aftermath with when one spouse has committed the adulterous act, the other spouse may feel that there is a “lack of sexual desire” for the spouse from spouse who committed the act (Wasserstrom, 1985, p.
In this paper I am writing about marriage and infidelity in modern life and the books we have read in class. Marriage is a mutual bond in which a man and a woman decide to be with each other until they die. Infidelity is basically when the man or woman in a relationship cheat on the other person, without them knowing.
A man has been married to his wife for seven years. The couple has two beautiful children, a fabulous home, and appear to have the perfect marriage. After the husband leaves work one afternoon, he decides to stop in at the local bar. The man sits at a table in the corner of the room. Not long after his arrival, a woman approaches him. She asks the man if she can join him at his table. The two seem to have quite a bit in common and enjoy each other’s company. The woman asks if he would like to go back to her apartment. He has not had a fight with his wife today. In fact, she surprised him with a love note in his briefcase. Their sex life is enjoyable, frequent, and without complaint. The couple is not currently having financial problems. Despite this, why did the man decide to leave with a stranger and cheat on his wife? A great deal of research has been carried out on the topic of infidelity. Marital therapists have reported that more than half of the couples they counsel are in therapy as a result of infidelity (Atkins, Jacobson citation). Therapists also consider an extramarital affair as, “one of the most damaging relationship events and one of the most difficult problems to treat in couples therapy” (whisman predicting sexual infidelity…). Some therapists estimate that 50% to 65% of couples seek help after an incident of infidelity in their relationship (Atkins, Jacobson & Baucom). Identifying the reasons for this problem are essential to the success of its reduction. Infidelity is not a new phenomenon. However, there was little research on the topic until the late 1970’s (Drigotas & Barta, 2001). Numerous factors have been examined while trying to determine the root cause for extramarital relationships a...
It is widely believed that men and women respond differently to infidelity in the way they think and act (Buss, Larsen, Westen & Semmelroth, 1992; Takahashi et al., 2006; Walum et al., 2013). Past research has found that women tend to report more
Infidelity is depicted as an extremely negative thing in the United States, and is often blamed for trust issues, psychologically damaging the spouse and their children, tearing apart marriages and families and more. People who commit adultery are often shamed and told how wrong what they did is and what a terrible person they are for doing it. According to the Journal of Martial and Family by the Associated Press, however, 41% of “marriages where one or both spouses admit to infidelity, either physical or emotional.” Clearly, while infidelity is generally viewed negative by society, many people either decide that it is not as negative as it is portrayed, or do not care and do it anyway. “The Lady with the Pet Dog” and “The Storm” both go against the typical view of adultery being a negative thing in a relationship by showing that it can actually have a beneficial outcome and leave some, if not all people happier.
Burgess, Olivia. "Forgiveness Is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope, And: Total Forgiveness, And: Radical Forgiveness." Project MUSE. Johns Hopkins UP, 2010. Web. 19 Apr. 2014. .
... Imagine how difficult it would be to trust one’s spouse again. It would be like starting all over. Many believe that “once a cheat always a cheat”, people who have several affairs have a higher divorce rate (figure 7). One would have to put forth time, and effort to restore something that they did not destroy. All of the years of marriage, all that was shared and considered sacred is gone. How can one be expected to believe that the affair was an isolated incident that never took place earlier on in the marriage? It is with all of these doubts and unanswered questions that it becomes evident that adultery destroys marriages and therefore marriage cannot survive infidelity. Infidelity not only destroys marriages, it also destroys families. Children turn away from their mothers or fathers, and it is at that point that the marriage should be considered null and void. The possibility of a marriage being able to survive infidelity is far fetched. Therefore, the answer to the question: ‘can marriage survive infidelity’ is evident.
Asking to forgive is often considered as hard words and it rarely comes out from anybody’s mouth. However, when said, it gets harder to ignore the same. In our lifetime we have been on both the sides. We might have asked somebody to forgive or somebody could have asked us to forgive them. However, the emotional concern often results from unforgiveness. When you do not forgive a person or if somebody does not forgive you, it often leads to bitterness, resentment, hated and anger. Many families often develop depression as well as social behavioral problems due to hatred and anger. In a few cases it has led to serious issues like murder.
The following five models are used to explain the concept of infidelity, based on the marital relationship: the need fulfillment model, the investment model, the deficit model, the self-expansion model, and the personal growth model. Each model explains a potential reason that one might cheat on his or her spouse. Part of the need fulfillment model that intrigued me was that people are attracted to their spouses based on how well they think they can fulfill the following seven specific needs: sex, intimacy, companionship, intellectual stimulation, emotional involvement, security, and self worth. The key word that stood out in this was the word “think.” These people believed that the partners they chose could fulfill their needs, but they later discovered that this was not the case. Perhaps they were infatuated or “blinded by love” so to speak, but whatever the case may be they still cheated on their partners due to unmet needs. The investment model examined what makes one more or less committed to his or her spouse. This model demonstrates that the level of commitment and attraction to one’s spouse hinges on the level of satisfaction and what the individual has to lose from the marriage ending. I would imagine there are plenty of people who stay in their marriages strictly because of children and financial stability. As the article stated, these things act as a “barrier to keep the
Acknowledging a wound that needs healing is important in this process. If you have truly forgiven, your scarred emotions get healed. Most times when you forgive your offenders, you often find that your wounds are still bleeding. Meanwhile, Forgiven someone does not mean that you have forgotten or that what they did was acceptable. What it does is that it frees us from anger that reacts like poison in our system. However, even if your brains recall the painful memory of past experience, you don’t feel any more of the sting of the pain and hurt of that experience. If you are able to look back at those painful memories and you don’t feel the pain anymore, then you know that you have truly forgiven, healed and made whole. You need time to work through your pain and loss. However, some offenses you encounter lead to a sense of loss of trust, security, friendship, relationship and a whole lots more. You may also lose your direction and forget the purpose and meaning of life when inflicted with pain through an offense. Sometimes you’re most horrible and painful experiences can teach your life valuable lessons, making you more insightful and stronger individual through them. Forgiveness is all about finding what was lost and restoring the wholeness that one once
Forgiveness is the act of releasing an offender of any wrong or hurt they may have caused you whether they deserve it or not. It is a decision to let go of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group of people. When we choose to forgive, we’re wiping the slate clean, cancelling a debt, or as I love to say, “Letting it go.” In the Bible, the Greek word for forgiveness literally means to “let it go.” This concept, “forgiveness,” is easier said than done. Majority of people find it very difficult to let go of offenses and hurts caused by others. I really do believe that most people desire to let it go, but we lack the knowledge of how to do it. As believers, we are instructed by God maintain an attitude of forgiveness.