Concepts of Communication in Parent Child Relationships

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“Communication is the key” is a quote that is often repeated. In every single relationship communication is essential. Especially among parents and children. Communication between parent and child has always been important. Today, however, there is an even greater focus, especially in light of all the things children face at school and in everyday life. Without a parent knowing what is going on in the life and mind of their child, it is hard to really understand what they are going through. Communication is the starting point of understanding.

Children learn communication from their parents. Communication is not something that can be studied; it is something that people have to learn by doing. As a parent, good communication needs to be emphasized as they are talking and listening to the child. A child can tell when a parent is not really listening to them, and this can create a big problem in the relationship. Children who feel misunderstood or feel like they aren’t being listened to will start to hold their feelings inside. This is the exact opposite of what good communication should be.

Good communication is not merely talking; it is being with someone and relating that nothing else is more important at that time. So many times parents are doing three or four tasks while their child is trying to communicate something to them. They may not even look up from the recipe or newspaper they are trying to read, as the child is desperately trying to get their attention. This displays a lack of interest in the child or what they are trying to convey to the parent. Lack of interest is one thing that will keep families from communicating. When someone doesn’t feel worthy enough of attention, they will stop sharing all together. When children stop sharing with their parents, they go to places and people that will show them attention. This can lead to trouble. The child may look for other avenues of acceptance, which could be negative influences. This could easily be avoided if only the parent had shown an interest in the child’s life. Part of effective communication with your children is being aware of their whereabouts. A child who is unsupervised or who has a parent that doesn’t show an interest in her activities, is likely to shut down and internalize her feelings (Beers, 1987).

Parents also need to be aware of what is going on in a child’s life. Th...

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...hout their lives. in order to have a society of good communicators, it needs to start in the home. Parents need to start communicating with their children and need to show them how to communicate with others. This is a skill that will be valued all throughout life and is something that shouldn’t be ignored. The skill of communication will be valued in every relationship throughout life. It is a necessity.

References

Beers, V.G. (1987). Parents and Children: Increasing Family Communication. Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House Publishers.

Cushman, D.P. & Cahn, D.D. (1985). Communication in Interpersonal Relationships. Albany, NY: State University of New York Press.

Foxhall, K. (2000). Parent and Child Communication. Monitor on Psychology. Retrieved from the World Wide Web on February 18, 2005: http://www.apa.org/monitor/may00/communication.html

Gurman, A. & Kniskern, D. (1991). Handbook of Family Therapy Vol. II. Bristol PA: Brunner/Mazel.

Author's name omitted by request. (2001). Parent child communication: how to communicate effectively. Retrieved from the World Wide Web on February 19, 2005: http://www.allsands.com/Kids/Teenagers/parentchildco_stj_gn.htm

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