Exercise – Editing Edit the following passage. There are about 16 errors. Reduce the word count from 359 words to 320 words. Ned Kelly was born in June 1855 at Beveridge, Victoria. His father, John, arrived in Australia as a convict. After serving his time in jail, he moved to the Port Phillip region where on November 18, 1850, he married Ellen Quinn who was the eighteen-year-old daughter of James & Mary Quinn. John died in December 1866, leaving the family destitute. His widow and children moved to a hut at Eleven Mile Creek, about halfway between Greta and Glenrowan in northern Victoria, to be near Ellen’s parents. The Kelly family saw themselves as victims of police persecution. On April 15, 1878, a police trooper went to the Kelly’s
The police accused the Kelly gang of crimes they didn’t commit. They also picked on them for no reason. Ned and Dan stood up for themselves and didn’t let the police push them around, as their dad was not around to help the family. This is why they were picked on so much. The Kelly boys were just trying to protect their land and their family, but the police kept making up stories to get them into trouble. Ned’s mum is quoted in the book as saying, “If they had been trying to provoke the boys to break the law and retaliate, they could not have done more than they did, and I firmly believe they were trying.” And due to this the Kelly gang weren’t given a fair trial, and were sentenced to
John Eaton died in 1856, leaving Margaret a small fortune. She lived in Washington DC with her two daughters, both of whom married into high society. It seemed as though Margaret finally had the societal life and respect she had always wanted. She changed all of that when, at the age of 59, she married her granddaughter’s 19 year old dance tutor, Antonio Buchignani. A mere five years later, he ran off to Italy with her money and her granddaughter.
Ned Kelly was a hero but was cruel to the rich even though they did nothing to him, he was at a bank at stringybark creek and shot a police officer when he tried to surrender and killed him along with a few others (page
Holliday, received the ordinance of baptism on Sunday, March 21, 1852, at the First Presbyterian Church in Griffin." Alice Jane died on September 16, 1866. This was a terrible blow to young John Henry for he and his mother were very close. To compound this loss, his father married Rachel Martin only three months later on December 18, 1886. Shortly after this marriage, the Holliday family moved to Valdosta, Georgia.
Many had called Ned Kelly a murderous thug, but what people say doesn’t necessarily mean it’s right. Ned was born in 1854, died at the age of 26 in 1880 and an Irish immigrant. Many have recognised Ned’s infamousness due to his action and his disgraceful family who had said to do many wrongs. Yes, Ned’s action clearly show a villain., but If you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, then you shouldn’t judge a person by his action. Ned’s mother was taken to jail for self-defence, his father died when Ned was 12-year-old further more every now and then police would accuse Ned and his family for horse thief or cattle stealing. These reason can clearly state that Ned’s a victim who played the role of villain.
From the age of 12, Ned was a victim who toiled for his family desperately struggling to provide a decent living for his family. “The Kelly’s were poor people….” “The conditions in Victoria, from droughts to floods...” Things didn’t improve but instead got worse each time. “Ned was in trouble with the law since the age of 12.” Any historical event of good fortune didn’t last for long. This evidently states that Ned Kelly was having a really rough time during the adolescent years. The Kelly’s were unfortunate people who had little money to purchase and live comfortably. I believe that Ned had a criminal history because he found no other way out to help his family but to turn to crime. He stood up to the immoral, arrogant police force in Victoria because he was always targeted by them. Some people might see this character as irresponsible and ill-behaved and they were right to do so, but what they don’t see is how absolutely desperate Ned was to help his family survive. He felt concerned about his family so much to the point where he was willing to steal or kill just for him and his family to live
...e with him. But Husband on June 9th he died of Pneumonia. Emmy and John buried him somewhere near them but to this very day nobody know where that is exactly.
If you think Ned Kelly was a bad guy, you’re wrong, so what if he killed a few people, he was just protecting himself! On page 52 it states that when Ned was hiding from the police, the police were looking for him and eventually they found Ned, The police started shooting at Ned and he would try to hide behind trees
With an evident attempt at objectivity, the syntax of Passage 1 relies almost entirely on sentences of medium length, uses a few long sentences for balance, and concludes with a strong telegraphic sentence. The varying sentence length helps keep the readers engaged, while also ensuring that the writing remains succinct and informative. Like the varying sentence length, the sentence structures vary as complex sentences are offset by a few scattered simple sentences. The complex sentences provide the necessary description, and the simple sentences keep the writing easy to follow. Conversely, Passage 2 contains mostly long, flowing sentences, broken up by a single eight word sentence in the middle. This short sentence, juxtaposed against the length of the preceding and following sentences, provides a needed break in the text, but also bridges the ideas of the two sentences it falls between. The author employs the long sentences to develop his ideas and descriptions to the fullest extent, filling the sentences with literary elements and images. Coupled...
Eva’s father left her family to return to his first family when she was very young, and he died soon thereafter in 1926 leaving Eva’s family with nothing. Her older siblings had to work to help the family (Fraser 3). Four years later, the Duarte family moved to Junin.
1934: His mother died in the Salinas home. John had stayed in the home to take care of
II. On the Problems with Information: 13.11 Explode a Moment, I chose my draft that is all about the analysis of Sherman Alexie’s “What It Means to Say.” I made a list on my Journal of the Moments of the scenes and important situations. In addition, I circled one that is gives more significance on the purpose of my essay and name it on the top of the Journal of the moments. I also make sure that I relate it on my write ups with much details. The following is the sample:
More mobs came to the village and pushed them out. They left for the Salt Lake Valley in July ,1847. They made it to the Salt Lake Valley September 18, 1850. They made it safe and well. She lived in Utah for a few months before she died. Becoming old then moving to Richmond, Cache County to live with her daughter. She had six children. She died age 77 on June 30, 1886.
They later sold the building and moved to another area following Edhi’s grandmother and stepsisters death.