reality bites

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pizza bites

I'm back from vacation and despite being away from the blog for a while, a few folks posted some interesting comments that had nothing to do with the post they were commenting on.

One had a link to a website selling table saws.

Fascinating.

A significant part of CBT work involves challenging distorted thinking; patterns of thinking that can lead a person to unreasonable and usually negative conclusions about events, themselves and other people. I've written a good deal about negative thinking and how to use Socratic methods and evidence to challenge distortions that typically lead to unreasonable distress and maladaptive behaviors.

But what happens if the negative belief or thought is true and unchangeable? For example, "I got written up because I played computer games at work all week and missed an important deadline."

Contrary to the stereotype that therapists tend to push clients into endless positive affirmation mantras we actually have a few ways that can help clients think about and handle difficult situations that involve strategies other than repeatedly saying "I love myself and the world is in harmony". Because, really, the world is rarely in harmony and if you love yourself that much then therapy needs to have a bit of a different focus.

One strategy involves consciously using the distress related to the event as a catalyst for increased awareness and knowledge about the problem and increased desire to change that behavior that either led to the problem or may be making the problem worse. The Systems theory folks view crisis as something that can act as a catalyst for change in families and what's true for systems is true for individuals. Emotions are really neutral entities; "good" and "bad" emo...

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...pending on it are reasonable. While there may be evidence to support a negative outcome or less than positive conclusion about our behavior thought records can help us think about next steps more effectively and can act as a brace against turning a mistake or bad judgment into a broader condemnation against our character or capacity.

If you struggle with a mental health issue like depression or anxiety, you may want to consider that while the situation stinks the thought patterns associated with your issue may make it seem like it stinks way more than it actually does.

So therapy isn't always about extinguishing the negative; usually it's more about putting the negative in perspective and helping someone understand their options and that even if what's uncomfortable doesn't change, it does not have to define your life.

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