Womanhood and Failures through the Burden of Self Esteem

For a young and passionate college student, expectations from peers, teachers, and parents can be intimidating and emotionally draining. For most parents, having their child succeed is a top priority, and children want to exceed parents’ expectations by achieving good grades and a high standard in school. In the poem “Suicide Note,” by Janice Mirikitani, a female Asian American college student is struggling to live up to her parents expectations. She does not receive a perfect grade point average that her parents are expecting, and she does not have the strength to face them in person. For this young college student, her strengths are not strong enough, and her will and determination are overcome by insecurities and discontent. The speaker is at in a constant battle with her self esteem; her womanhood is becoming a burden on her, and she believes her failure will bring much disappointment to her parents, and disparage their perception of her .

In the Asian culture, men are typically looked upon as being strong, smart, and independent. In “Suicide Note,” the speaker wishes that she were a son, so she could feel confident and strong throughout all of the hardships in her life. In the poem, the speaker compares herself to a fragile female bird, facing the harsh snow in winter. As she apologizes to her parents, she says “If only I were a son, shoulders broad/ as the sunset through the pine” (Mirikitani 10-11). The speaker contrasts her situation in the cold and harsh snow, with the

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warmth of the sunset through the blossomed trees. If she were a boy, she could achieve her parent’s approval; s...

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...cceptance in herself and through her parents. She is a young college student who has to deal with the pressures from her culture, parents, peers, and teachers. Her strength and power to be independent from her parents could not prevail, and an apology is the only thing she can offer to her parents. The speaker keeps telling herself that she is not good enough and not strong or smart enough to succeed; many people struggle with same the problem as the speaker, and it is up to the power within to overcome it .

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Works Cited

Kirszner, Laurie G. and Stephen R. Mandell. Portable Literature: Reading, Reacting, Writing, 7th

ed. Boston, MA: Wadsworth Cengage Learning, 2010. Print.

Mirkitani, Janice. “Suicide Note”, 488-490 .