Relationships are formed when two individuals are connected by a strong bond. Plenty of key aspects are involved when developing bonds; such as physical, emotional and sexual attraction. An initial anticipation when entering a relationship is that the uttermost significant factor would be an emotional attraction in behalf of the ultimate saying that “what’s important is what’s on the inside.” Although now individuals remain in search to discover their sexual soul mate rather than their intellectual one. Couples are primarily focused on how strong their sexual life is in the relationship. Individuals have forgotten that when in a relationship there is more than just having sexual intercourse. Currently, we are in a period where men and women …show more content…
Back in the 19th century individuals cared finding someone they truly loved, getting married, then commencing their sexual relationship. Now relationships revolve around sex and whether or not a couple is having a sexual relationship or not. Love has drifted apart from being a personal connection to a sexual one. In “Deeply Truly (But Not Physically) In Love” by Lauren Slater, she discusses the complications between a couple who are not not sexually compatible. Slater understands that the evolution of relationships and true love are changing, she states: “In the 19th century, to be raped was to be shamed, forever. In the late 20th century, to be a virgin was to be shamed. And so I lied, to save my skin”. In other words, sex is the main focus for individuals and it must be show cased in order to have a purpose. Some argue that all couples will result in having sexual intercourse and I completely believe that but should not be the center of attention, there is more to being in a relationship than just …show more content…
Along with that one mistake individuals are basing their sexual relationship with how a man or woman may be. Such as in the National Geographic Magazine article “Love” by Lauren Slater states:” A woman unconsciously uses orgasms as a way of deciding whether or not a man is good for her. If he’s impatient and rough, and she doesn’t have the orgasm, she may instinctively feel he’s less likely to be a good husband and father.” It is far from okay for individual or in this case for woman to believe that sex determines if a man will be a good husband or father. The qualities of a man are determined through their actions such as their communication with their wife and kids or if they put their family first. In a marriage or a relationship in general, individuals seem to ignore key aspects of who their partner is as a person. A lifetime partnership should be determined through communication, similar interests, faithfulness, and enjoyment of the others company. Individuals in love should build each other up and grow a strong foundation as a couple. Women or men must stop using sex as an excuse for ending or committing to a relationship; the only meaningful aspects that should be evaluated are their personal and emotional
Once they can objectively see the pattern and how it repeats itself over time, they are in a position to see their own contribution to it” (pg. 36). An individual can only change their own relationship pattern. If one individual in the relationship tries to make a positive change to their relationship pattern it is more than likely that the other partner will follow in their footsteps (Gilbert, 1992). While reading this chapter on relationship patterns I began to notice similarities with some of my own relationships. It was awesome to see how these patterns come about and how to improve them. One of the second concepts discussed in the chapters was the emotions in relationships. One factor that stood out to me was how vital and crucial emotions are to human life. Gilbert (1992) believes that “Emotions are important to all life, firing the strong, quick reactions necessary to survive the dangers of existence” (pg. 38). Emotions can also be described as patterns that are created early on. In relationships emotions are one of the crucial parts of a relationship, but they can also lead to be part of the most difficult parts of a relationship. Gilbert (1992) states “While they are necessary, desirable, and pleasurable, feelings and emotions also lead to most of the
Intimacy and sex are topics many couples fail to talk about when there are issues surrounding it. It is a subject which is considered taboo, and when issues arise in a marriage, if they are not addressed, they can cause a major rift between the couple. Dr. Degler is a Christian psychologist, life coach, and author who hosts a website and blog called Healthy Relationships Rx. It provides the everyday Christian wife with the advice and tools she might need in order to add spice into her marriage and bedroom. The book, Fighting for your Marriage, by Markman, Stanley, and Blumberg (2010) also provides couples with a better understanding of the important role intimacy plays in a marriage. Marriage is a union entered in by two people who love
This article made me think about what I and the people around me count as sex. It can be hard in heterosexual relationships to get past the idea that coitus is the culmination and essence of sex. Even when hetrosexual partners understand that there are other things they enjoy just as much if not more, there often is an expectation that everything else is a disappointment if it does not lead up to coitus. I have read similar (but shorter) things, and heard these ideas multiple times via Dan Savage and his many forms of media. However, Christina makes the idea seem more real and available. She reminded me of an important part of my sexual philosophy: sex is mutual pleasure, not particular acts and measurements.
- Her spouse is more about the act of sex than the connection that sex brings
...nt story if one is not in love but still searching for partners to be. He extends this argument to how sex is a medium to mark the physical closeness of the couple, and “sexual monogamy.” (pg 237)
Perel explains how the culture we live in now withholds different expectations for love in individualistic societies. (Perel, 0:53) This connects to what we learned in the love chapter. We learned that in western cultures, there is an overall focus on “attraction and matching” and the expectation that they will live “happily ever after” with their partner. (Clark, 2015a) These are the expectations Perel is referring to which individualistic societies now rely on in forming their concept for what love should be like in relationships. These expectations however, may also be impacted by interdependency and our compassion level. For example, comparison level “describes the value of the outcomes that we believe we deserve in our dealings with others.” (Miller, 2012, Interdependency, p.176) Our prior events that we have experienced may serve to explain why individuals have these high expectations, especially since the current culture we live. Perel mentions that couples commonly tend to bring up the fact that they want more sex (Perel, 10:37), which in the sexuality chapter we learned that sexual desire and frequency has different factors that are taken into account. For example, comparison level is overall an important aspect to consider here and rather than “evaluating how often they have sex or the degree to which they disagree about sex,” couples should instead
Whether it is the friends we choose or our romantic partners there is something that attracts us to the other person in these relationships. Maybe something that unknowingly leads us to develop a relationship with them. What is it that attracts a person to develop a relationship with them? In both friendships and romances. What is it that makes these relationships long lasting? With the high divorce rate among Americans and the rest of the world what is it that separates a couple? Could it be associated with the fact that the number one argument couples have is about money( ) ? Why do some marriages last and others end? These are the questions and theories I have searched for.
The more you get to know someone, the more you are able to make better decisions and judgments for not just yourself, but for your partner as well. How a couple handles issues while
How does 'sexuality' come into being, and what connections does it have with the changes that have affected personal life on a more general plane? In answering these questions, Anthony Giddens disputes many of the interpretations of the role of sexuality in our culture. The emergence of what he calls plastic sexuality, which is sexuality freed from its original relation of reproduction, is analyzed in terms of the long-term development of the modern social order and social influences of the last few decades. Giddens argues that the transformation of intimacy, in which women have played the major part, holds out the possibility of a society that is very traditional. "This book will appeal to a large general audience as well as being essential reading for those students in sociology and theory."(Manis 1)
“Most of our lives consist of socializing with others, beginning new relationships, and strengthening old ones. Love is all around us, embodied in three main categories. Each of these is experienced in a different way; each of these is approached in a different way (Lemon2x).” However, all of them share one common quality- they are not planned, unpredicted, and developed overtime. In addition, an intimate relationship is harder to develop. “Intimacy generally refers to the feeling of being in a close personal association and belonging together. It is a familiar and very close affective connection with another as a result of a bond that is formed through knowledge and experience of the other. Genuine intimacy in human relationships requires dialogue, transparency, vulnerability, and reciprocity (Wikipedia). A lot of people think intimacy is all about sex. Intimacy is connecting with someone of the same or different sex on levels that ignite sexual interactions. There are many possible reasons why some people are attracted to each other and form relationships. Some of these reasons are personality, physical looks, things in common, and differences. These three things are what a relationship is based upon, besides trust and other things such as attraction.
The United States has experienced constant heterosexual change in acceptable social behaviors that evoke sexual relations. These changes expanding from the past half-century, which includes drastic shifts in premarital attitudes and behaviors. Shift changes in heterosexual courtship are seen from 1950’s and early 1960’s, where the standard for sexual interactions was abstinence, and intercourse was only acceptable in marriage (Perlman & Sprecher, in press), to the 1970’s. Whereas, in the 1970’s there’s a witnessed shift to a more lenient social standard, ”permissiveness with affection,” where engaging in sexual behavior was acceptable as long as the partners were fully committed to each other (Perlman & Sprecher, in press; Sprecher 1989). Sexual standards within the 21st century first decade are p...
Contemporary culture’s construction of female sexuality a perversion of feminist notions of a truly liberated female sexuality b ecause society has these norms and values on women which sets boundaries on how they are viewed sexually and attractive. Women must present themselves in a way that men don’t need too, that rules are also made by the culture, not asked by each individual. “The cult of Virginity” is one topic that even in 21 st century is heavy to talk about. Women must be virgins before marriage or they are considered “damaged goods” (Jessica Valenti: pg. 336). Virgin is only important to the society when it comes to women b ut nowhere is the definition for men or boys to be a virgin (Jessica Valenti: pg. 335).
Being in a relationship, we build particular kind of feelings, which are based on trust, friendship and true love. However, a relationship can give us many feelings which we can’t get from friends or family. A good offers you all the wonderful things of friendship, but with a special closeness and intimacy. A good relationship will teach you to work as a team, and hopefully both people being to...
When people have relationships and especially they know the partner has different partners, people tend to think which one the best person for the partner is. Yet, in their relationship, they have to resist their feeling or desire to keep the relationship, otherwise it doesn’t work. Everyone starts finding the one and they may compete to have the one. In addition, to make good relationships between partners, they need to make an agreement about safe sex. Each person has different desire and the way to feel pleasure whey they have sex, but they have to care about the partners and respect them too.
There are many things that make humans, human. One major component is the capacity to form and maintain relationships. These relationships are absolutely necessary for any of us to survive, learn, work, love, and procreate. Human relationships take many forms but the most intense, most pleasurable and most painful are those relationships with family, friends and loved ones. Within this inner circle of intimate relationships, we are bonded to each other with emotional paste — bonded with love.