There are many aspects that play into the relationship between a helper and a person seeking help. One of the most important aspects of this relationships is understanding and recognizing the special characteristic values, goals, expectations, and biases that we bring into the relationship as helpers. As an aspiring helper, it is part of my duty to know what I am bringing into these relationships and how these things could affect my treatment of the relationship I have with this person. Some of the things that make up who we are and how we go about interacting in our helping relationships will be unavoidable to keep from affecting how we act in those relationships. For myself, this includes my values, goals in life, expectations of what it …show more content…
Firstly, I expect the helping relationship to be an open and honest relationship in which all the cards are on the table. However, this may be problematic to actually solving some of the much deeper issues that individuals may have especially if they are not ready to share everything right away. Many people seeking help know they want to be helped but can’t reveal all of themselves in one sitting because thinking about everything at once in that way would be considerably more harmful than it would be helpful. Another expectation of mine that may be misguided is the expectation that all of the problems someone has can be totally fixed through the helping relationship. Although this may be a useful thing to aspire to, it cannot happen without the willingness and readiness of the person seeking help. Another expectation that I may be bringing into some of my relationships is the expectation that if I am helping in a good way the person seeking help should have all their problems fixed in just a few interactions. This is also a useful expectation as it motivates me to help as effectively as possible, but I can’t impose such high and frankly unattainable expectations on those people that are coming to me for help with something. It is primarily going to be up to them what they are ready to be helped with and how much they would like me to be involved in that process. Lastly, I may sometimes expect that the people that come to me are totally ready for my help and are ready to dive in right away. Where sometimes this may not be the case. Sometimes people don’t need explicit help as much as they just need a person to talk to and vent their experiences and problems to. In this sense, I need to be aware that people can come to me for help just by asking for my attention and my
People are afraid to admit to themselves and others that they need to help to
...ives from the implementation of an empathic, hopeful continuous treatment relationship, which provides integrated treatment and coordination of care through the course of multiple treatment episodes” (Watkins, 2015). Whether, confronted with a substance use disorder, gambling or sex addiction the way in which a counselor work with the client in an open helpful manner is the key to motivating the client to change their behaviors. “A man convinced against his will, Is of the same opinion still” (Carnegie, 1981). The most piece of the helping relationship is that the client is the lead in their care, as they are the ones that will be making the decisions for their care. A counselor is essentially a trained skillful teacher that guides an individual toward their best recovery options and it is up to the individual to make the needed changes in their life and behaviors.
The counselling process is one that may last for as little as one session or for years, it is within the middles stages of the helping relationship that particular counselling skills such as a focusing, challenging and immediacy can be implemented, as well as use of advanced empathy that can be applied due to increased familiarity with a speaker. Many actions may occur within middles stage of the helping relationship such as transitions that occur for a multitude of reasons and the outcome of which can vary based on the attitude of the speaker. Self-awareness remains vital throughout the entire counselling relationship due to the continual influence of empathy in the helping relationship and remaining aware my own motives and values when using advanced empathy and specific counselling skills. Ethics and boundaries are also involved within the counselling process as within a counselling relationship, I as the counsellor, must be careful with the balance or expenditure of power when challenging.
Counseling skills has provided me with a valuable insight into the helping relationship and how it is both created and maintained in order to encourage growth and development in the client. The factors involved within the helping relationship include considering Roger’s core conditions, congruence, unconditional positive regard and empathy as the three main characteristics necessary in a helping relationship. In order to fully incorporate all three of Roger’s core conditions, I as the counselor must be self-aware, as a lack of self-awareness may inhibit truly listening and understanding the client; self-awareness can be enhanced through exercises such as Johari’s window. Counseling skills such as body language and active listening also plays a role within encouraging the client to open up and can help me as the counselor convey empathy.
One time, when I was around five, it was night time and I had a school project to turn in the next day, I approached my mother and told her that I needed help with my project. Of course I told her that I had to turn in the project the next day, and she proceeded to scold me for waiting until the last minute to do my work, but never the less she accepted to help me. If I had asked for help when I was five, I must have asked for help later in my life, because I’m sure I’ve needed help many times, and not only from my mother but from friends, teachers, peers, strangers, and family.
I don’t think I could just focus on a client’s problem and problematic behavior, and not try to help better them as a person. This is the type of therapy that is the warm and fuzzy type. I like to think as myself as very empathic person, and always try to put myself in other people’s shoes. I try
Cormier, S, Nurius, P & Osborn, C 2012, Interviewing and change strategies for helpers: fundamental skills and cognitive behavioural interventions, 7th edn, Brooks Cole, Belmont, California.
It is very clear to me, as a facilitator, to understand the importance to offer gentle, non-judgmental support and guidance without trying to fix or change the outcome of the person I come in contact with. During the healing process of resolving trauma/challenging emotions, we need to be aware of giving people the power to trust their own intuition, keep your own ego out of the way, and make them fell safe enough to
There are many attributes to being an effective helper. An effective helper, in essence, should be genuinely caring, have a calm manner, have a sense of humor, be a clear thinker, be highly dependable, honest, use common sense, be objective and not subjective, be self-confident, be self-aware, have a positive attitude toward life, have respect for others, exhume warmth, show flexibility and openness (Mental Health of Refugees, 1996). These are the basic characteristics of an effective helper. Above all, an effective helper must completely respect the persons they are trying to help, no matter what their values and beliefs are (Burger, 2011). You must recognize the differences between you and the person you are helping, and you must respect these differences (Mental Health of Refugees, 1996). An effective helper should not be the judge of another person’s life, but think of it as being invited to or asked to help a person. The helper should empathize with the person they are helping and not assume that they know how a person feels. The helper should understand that each person is u...
This week reading about the nuts and bolts of helping has been pretty interesting. Especially learning the difference between a helping friendship and a professional helping. Both still help others just in different ways. I first thought how is there a difference but after that part, it all become clear to me why both are different. It is best to keep helping friendship and professional helping separate.
I’ve always had a passion for helping others and I love the idea of being considered a dependable person. I enjoy when others come to me to talk about the hardship they are experiencing and being able to provide them with feedback or helpful advice. To do this I learned that you need to have the characteristics of a “people person”. You must be patient, which from my job experience of working in retail and the fast food industry, I would consider myself to be a highly patient person. I also posses the the skill of being outgoing and friendly. I allow myself to be comfortable when speaking with different types of people and I let myself open up so I can personally relate to them. By doing this I believe that others will return the comfort that I created and will want
As someone involved in the field of Social Work, I am regularly challenged to assist individuals and families to cope through, work on. and deal with internal and external issues that can affect their ability to feel empowered. These factors can undermine their personal sense of well-being and their self-esteem. Therefore, it is important that I am aware of the available ways to effectively assist my client, while at the same time maintaining boundaries and professionalism.
You have to address them individually and realize that their needs are individualized as well. I found out that in order to be an effective helper in the Goodwill industry, you have to meet the client where they are. Some are experiencing computer skills for the first time, some need to find sources that will get them on the right track such as GED courses, and some might just need a job to support their family. I realized that each time someone comes through the resource center doors, they are important and their needs
I often think to myself “ what more can I do to help?”. I never feel like what I do is enough. And I think I know why, when I approach people most of them never reject my help. But every so often I encounter someone who dose. And most of the time I don't want to bother them so I let them be. But when I think about it I was once in their place. I would think that asking for help is a sign of weakness, but in reality asking for help is the bravest thing a person can do. Admitting that you need help and you cant do it on your own helps you grow as a person. And from now on when I encounter those people that tend to say “no I do not need your help” I will try my best to help them anyway, even if they don't want it, I know they need it.
Helping consists of four parts, those being; (1) an individual seeking help, (2) an individual that is willing to help those seeking help, (3) the helping individual is competent and skilled enough to train, and (4) an environment that is conducive for help to be given and received.