Tell A Partner How You Feel And Listen To Your Partner

1) Good communication is a dialogue between 2 or more people where one side speaks and the other side reacts or responds to what was said, either by an action or words. In order for there to be good communication, there can not be any obstacles between what one person says and what the other person hears.

For example, you're talking on the phone but there is static on the line. That static is preventing you from receiving clearly what the other person is trying to say. In this case good communication is not being applied.

Another common example is, a husband is on his computer working, and his wife is trying to communicate with him. Since his attention is on the computer, he is unable to receive clearly the message she is trying to give him.

Avoid the terms, You are like this!...and...you are like that!..., especially when you're angry, but learn to say, in a calm way, When you do this, you make me feel like this.... Using this form of communication, your partner will not feel attacked and therefore will not put up a line of defense. If you tell your partner, "You are like this!" He immediately feels attacked and therefore he must retaliate by telling you, "oh yeah, well you're like that!" and before you know it, you're both in an argument and nothing was gained. But when you tell your partner, "When you do this, you make me feel like this" or "I feel like this, when you do that", then there is no direct attack, and the communication between you two, will have

For example, you can say, when you call me from work just to say hi, I feel like you love me... This will probably increase the number of calls you receive from your partner during the day, or at least he won't stop doing it. Or you can say, you know when I talk to you and you don't look at me, I feel neglected... I feel like you're not really listening. This might have a better result, then saying to your partner straight out, You always neglect