Sunshine, Singing, and Surprises: A Camp Story

Narrator: Welcome to camp! The sun is shining, the lake is sparkling, the trees are tall and the Program Aides are singing. What could possibly go wrong in such a beautiful place?!

(P.A’s sing)
P.As: I’m an old duck rover from down in Montana, I round up them duckies and drive them along, to a flooded corral where we bull tag and brand them, and mosey on home just a singing this song…..
(Camera pans around camp: Sunny day. Pan to see the lodge, the flag circle, girls of all ages with backpacks and sleeping bags, the boat house, the lake, the dock with canoes, and the cabins. )

The Camp Director, Sage, shouts: “OK, girls stow those backpacks in your cabins and meet back here for dinner!”

Sage pulls the PA’s (teenage girls) aside: “Listen girls,

I know that “Tajer” plays pranks every year, but it’s been getting out of hand. So, no pranks this year, got it?”

(Tajer - plays pranks - he’s an imaginary 1/3 badger, 1/3 monkey, 1/3 jaguar. Sage is wearing a Tajer sweatshirt. It’s the camp mascot.)

Scene: The PA’s are in their cabin. It is night time. The girls are playing a game and decide to move the boats into the middle of the lake:
Link: Let’s play two truths and a lie! I’ll start. I went as Shrek for Halloween, I’ve eaten sea urchin, and I was the speaker at my 5th grade graduation.

Blink: I was with you at Halloween doofus! We wore salt & pepper costumes!

Elmo: Ewww, you ate sea urchin!

Starfish: Why would they have a speaker at 5th Grade graduation?

Link: Well, I spoke into the microphone to present the teacher gift to our teacher, so, technically, I was the speaker at my 5th grade graduation.

Starfish: I don’t think that counts.

Link: Starfish, you go now.

Starfish: Uh, I don’t know…. I haven’t done much. I guess I’ll pass, how about you Elmo?

Elmo: Umm... my mom & I drove to my Uncle’s house in Canada once, I have never eaten a pop tart with frosting on it, and, um, ah, I guess once I went skydiving!

Link: Wow! That’s really hard, I don’t think I could ever guess that one.

Blink: Oh! I got it! You’ve never been skydiving!

Link: I was being sarcastic, you cheese puff!

Peaches: Hey! I know what we should do! We should do a prank!

Starfish: We can’t. Sage said no pranks this year.

Link: But it’s tradition! The PA’s do pranks every year!

Blink: Yeah, remember last year when they hung all of Pioneer’s back packs on the trees?
That was hilarious!

Elmo: Maybe we could just do something little and harmless?

Starfish: Like What?

Elmo: I dunno, we could do something with the canoes…..

Peaches: We could string all the canoes in the trees!

Link: That’s not little!

Peaches: Yeah… we could sink all the canoes!

Blink: That’s not harmless!

Elmo: Maybe we could row all the canoes out to the middle of the lake and tie them together, and then swim back to shore?

Starfish: It’s dark out…. I am not swimming in the lake in the dark!

Peaches: Well you can row one of the little fun yaks back to shore if you’re going to be lame.

End Scene

Later the same night:

Peaches: Really? Was it really necessary to bring your Elmo blanket, Elmo?

Elmo: Yes! It’s cold out and the blanket is warm.

Starfish: Here are your life jackets!

Peaches: I’m not wearing that. I know how to swim and a life jacket will just slow me down.

Elmo: Did you hear that? What was that?

Blink: That was just me tripping over this branch. Ouch!

Elmo: No, it didn’t sound like that… It sounded like monster!

Peaches: Really? Like a monster? OOHH maybe it’s Tajer, you baby!

Link: Let’s check it out...

Blink: That’s how people die in horror movies!

Starfish (Using her best teacher voice): Let’s stay on task girls!

Link: OK, everyone grab a canoe.

Everyone takes a canoe and starts paddling to the middle of the lake.
When they get to the middle of the lake, they tie the canoes together and one of the girls drops an anchor they made out of an empty milk jug filled with sand. All the girls are treading water near the canoes except for Starfish who is in her fun yak with her life vest on. She has a flashlight that she is using to count up all the girls.

Starfish: OK, so we have…Peaches, Blink, Link…..Where’s Elmo?

The girls hear a brief scream: AGH! Then silence. The girls look around.

Peaches: Isn’t that Elmo’s blanket?

Starfish: AGHH! Get to shore now! Swim! Swim!

Peaches Blink, and Link start swimming frantically, Starfish is paddling as fast as she can but she is not making much headway in the ridiculously tiny boat. She is just going in circles.

Starfish tips her boat on purpose and tries to swim to shore, but she can’t go very fast because of her life jacket. Something grabs her from below and pulls her down. Because of her life jacket, she pops back up and yells: Help! Something’s got my leg! She goes back under, and only her life jacket pops back up.

Only Peaches, Blink, and Link make it back to a swampy area on the opposite shore.

Shaken.

The three girls start walking through the muck. They are terrified.

Peaches: They’re gone! What Happened!

Blink: Whatever that was it tore off Starfish’s life jacket…. What was that?

(Dramatic Music Plays, cut to commercial.)
(Back from Commercial. Skip Lakebottom in a busy television control booth)

Narrator: Skip Lakebottom at the control booth here. Hehehe! Those girls have no idea what hit them. Hehehe - here’s an instant replay of Starfish rowing in circles in the lake. Hehehe - that’s hilarious! Let’s check in with our camera crew and see what they’ve planned next.

Mike: Hello Skip. Lucky for us it is a clear night - we are getting great footage from our secret cameras hidden all over the camp. Now we can’t tell you what we have planned next, but, let’s just say it’s going to be quick! I have Roger who we flew in from our set design offices in L.A., you may remember him from the challenges he created on “Survivor.”

Roger: Thanks Mike, for this secret challenge I have….

Skip Longbottom: Thanks Roger! That’s all we have time for, now let’s check back in and see how those girls are doing.

(Show girls walking through the woods.)

Link: I’m so scared… We need to get

help.

Peaches: How? We’re on the wrong side of the Lake!

Blink: What are we going to say when we get back? That Starfish and Elmo were….. What do you think even happened? Was it a monster? Who is going to believe that?

Link: Totem is probably the closest cabin, but I’m guessing it’s at least a couple of miles if we walk around the lake - but I’m not sure how to get there through the woods.

Blink: What was that!

Starfish: What?

Blink: I thought I heard it again. It sounds like there is someone out there.

Link: Huh, That’s weird, there’s sand over here. Why is there sand in the middle of the woods?

(Link walks over to the sand and start to poke at it with her foot.)

Peaches: Yeah I’ve been to pretty much every part of the lake and I’ ve never seen sand.

Link: It kinda seems like someone put it here, like it looks fake.

Peaches: But who would even do that?

Link: Guys! A little help over here! (Link has a panicked voice)
(Blink and Peaches rush over)

Blink: OMG! That looks like quicksand! dont move!

Peaches: Is that stuff even real?

Link: Well duh, I’m up to my waist!

Peaches: Well Blink, you’ve seen the movies what do we do!?

Blink: Throw her a vine!

starfish: We’re in Washington!

Link: I’m up to my shoulders! Help!

Peaches: Here take this branch!
(Link in one final move lunges for the branch, only her arms stick out)

Peaches: Pull!

(Peaches and Blink pull Link out of quicksand)
(Link gasps)

Link: Woah

Peaches: They are out to get us!

Blink: Who is “They”?

Peaches: I don’t know!

Link: Who would want to kill a couple of camp counselors?

Blink: Maybe they’re killing for sport

Link: Shia LaBeouf!

(Link and Blink chuckle, Peaches stares at them until they stop)

Peaches: Not the time.

Link: Sorry.

(Cut to Skip Lakebottom outside, in front of the main lodge)

Skip Lakebottom: Oh, those girls are clever. They’re starting to catch on. Roger, they escaped your quicksand trap.

(Cut to Roger in the Control room.)

Roger: That one did great in the tests we ran! I am very surprised she didn’t go under faster, we designed the quicksand to be one fast drop into the underground room. Very similar to the trapdoor we created for the game show “Trivia Drop.”

Skip Lakebottom: We are going to need to try something else. Sherri, what do you think?

Sherri: Well, the girls seem to think it’s a monster, so, let’s give them a monster! I’ll get my costume ready.

Skip Lakebottom: Sounds Great! This will really add some drama! Now, let’s check in on Elmo & Starfish! (Dramatic Music)

(Cut to inside of main lodge. Elmo & Starfish are wrapped in blankets with cups of hot cocoa. Sage is talking directly to the camera)

Sage: The studio assured me that the girls would be ok. I didn’t think it would look so dangerous! Of course, the girls made their own choice, as I knew they would. Who can resist a good prank, not these girls, that’s for sure! This group of girls has caused trouble every summer for years. So predictable. Well, now is when that predictability is going to pay off. Now we are going to be able to pay for all the repairs that the camp is in need of! New roofs for the cabins! New canoes! Maybe even flush toilets!

(Elmo and Starfish wave to the camera.)

(Cut back to the girls walking in the woods.)