Sami Wiley Focus on Research Template Aldeis, Desiree & Afifi, Tamara D. (2015). Putative secrets and conflict in romantic relationships over time. Communication Monographs, 82, 224-251. What previous theory/research was known about this topic? Secrecy is commonly seen in personal relationships, especially romantic ones (Petronio, 2002). In this study conducted by Aldeis and Afifi, the two examined the effect of secrets and conflict within romantic relationships. Putative secrets were the main focus in which a partner in the relationship learns a secret without the secret keeper knowing (Caughlin, Scott, Miller, and Hefner, 2009). One of the theories that was examined was the attribution theory (Heider, 1958) . The attributions made by …show more content…
those in the relationship to explain why their partner is keeping a secret could magnify conflict. Those are more likely to blame his or her partner when transgression occurs in the relationship.
Although keeping a secret from one’s partner could be seen in a positive light, ost people do not like when their partner conceals information from there and view it as relational transgression (225, Aldeis, Afifi). The researchers were looking at the reasons why individuals believe that his or her partners were keeping secrets from them. Also the two took a deeper look at how these reasons discovered affect changes in the couple’s conflict. Conflict was also examined, which can promote growth in relationships as well as damage them. Lastly relationship satisfaction between a couple was examined. Past research shows that individuals who are happy in their relationships tend to view their partner’s actions in a more positive way than those who are unhappy within their …show more content…
relationships.The study supported research done by Bradbury & Fincham (1992) concluding that individuals who were unhappy in their romantic relationship have a tendency to accuse their partner for wrongdoings leading to increased conflict within the relationship. What did the authors hope to add to the existing literature that was either missing or not previously explored? This study looked at the differences between individuals’ insight regarding the reasoning for their partner’s decision to hide something from their partner. Keeping a secret can buffer communication within a relationship or may create conflict depending on the secret being kept. They were hoping to find out what the relationship satisfaction was like when a putative secret is present. What specific hypotheses did the authors make, if any?
There were several hypotheses formed for this how knowing that one’s partner is keeping a secret, but not allowing the secret keeper to know that his or her secret is known will affect the level of conflict in a romantic relationship. Researchers differentiated current putative secrets within a relationship from those of the past, as well as relationships where no putative secrets have ever taken place. They believed that those individuals with a current putative secret will report the most intense conflict and most fluctuations in conflict over time, followed by individuals with a past putative secret and lastly by couples who have never kept a secret from their partner. Name the independent variable(s), their levels, and their operational definitions. Name the dependent variable(s) and their operational definitions. What were the significant findings and were the hypotheses confirmed? Couples who were experiencing a putative secret during the time of the study versus couples who didn’t experienced the most change and conflict. The partners who believed that their partner was keeping a secret for a positive reason such as protection or to avoid negative evaluation, the level of conflict was less than those with putative secrets revolving around personal
gain. oth the perceived reasons for the secret and the degree of relationship satisfaction did play a role in the conflict that they experienced. When a participant believed that his or her partner kept the secret for a positive reason such as to protect the relationship or avoid negative evaluation, the level of conflict change and the degree of conflict was less than if the perceived reasons had to do with personal gain or overt deception. This attribution variable held more weight than whether the individuals were satisfied in their relationships. When the subjects believed that their partners had kept the secret for negative reasons, the conflict was the highest regardless of their level of relationship satisfaction or when the secret occurred. The conclusions of Aldeis and Afifi’s study are not surprising What is the applied value of this study? The applied value of the study is to understand List and define any important terms integral to the study. Attributions: Attributions are causal explanations for why someone behaved the way he or she did (Manusov, 2001). Conflict is a natural and inevitable part of interpersonal relationships and can promote growth, intense and enduring conflict can harm individual and relational development (Canary, 200) Deception: The act of deceiving by a false appearance or statement Negative Evaluation: Apprehension about others' evaluations, distress over negative evaluations by others, and the expectation that others would evaluate one negatively (Watson & Friend). Personal Gain: Advancing Putative Secrets- When people discover their romantic partner is keeping a secret from them but allow their partner to believe the secret is still unknown Relational Satisfaction: Relational dissatisfaction is both a predictor of withholding information and an outcome (see Merrill & Afifi, 2012). At the same time, it probably serves as a moderator of the association between putative secrets and conflict. Caughlin, J. P., Scott, A. M., Miller, L. E., & Hefner, V. (2009). Putative secrets: When information is supposedly a secret. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 26, 713–743. doi:10.1177/0265407509347928 Petronio, S. (2002). Boundaries of privacy: Dialectics of disclosure. Albany, NY: State University of New York Press. Watson, D; R Friend (1969). "Measurement of Social-evaluative Anxiety". Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology 33 (4): 448–57.
In short story “The Cheater’s Guide to Love,” written by Junot Diaz, we observe infidelity and the negative effects it has on relationships. Anyone who cheats will eventually get caught and will have to deal with the consequences. People tend to overlook the fact that most relationships are unlikely to survive after infidelity. Trust becomes an issue after someone has been unfaithful. Yunior, the main character in this story, encounters conflict as he struggles to move on with his life after his fiancée discovers that he has been unfaithful. Over a six-year period, the author reveals how his unfaithfulness has an effect on his health and his relationships.
Even among friends or intimate relationship we disclose little or no personal information with a high degree of frequency. I rarely share personal information with my parents unless it 's necessary for them to know and the topic we do discuss are usually moderate topic’s. This is known as privacy management which researchers use this term to describe the choices people make to reveal or conceal information about themselves. (pg 92)
In the book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (1999) John M. Gottman provides insight on the seven fundamental tools to construct positive relationships. Through long years of research, Gottman studied married couples and noted degenerative behaviors that hindered the formation and attainment of a long and healthy marriage. Gottman research focused on several key behavioral predictors of divorce, which he calls the “The Four Horsemen”; Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling.
Karen Horney “Distrust between sexes” proceeds go into the different aspects of Love and Relationships. In this book Horney gives examples on how women deal with emotions which transitions from childhood to adult life. The fundamentals of documentation are displayed in unavoidable ways in most occurrences people run into. People are blind to the fact that love in relationships can be destroyed by overt or covert? In some cases lack of sympathy is then blamed, when relationships don’t work out between two individuals. Some couples fall into social, economic defaults which impacts the relationships. These are issues people never stop to think about, all they want to do is shift the blame to one another in a relationship. Self-preservation is a basic instinct for everyone and is present at birth. This can enhance the natural fear of losing ourselves in a relationship (Horney 1930). In Horney discussions I found that a person only feels despair because of the deep emotions of abundant from “Love” during childhood. That can develop more mixed emotions that turn into mistrust, which causes delusions that tell them they are not getting love from their partner (Horney 1930). With these types of feelings mistrust sips into relationships, starting from a child carries over into adult life. Reasons are when a child comes into the world learns everything it needs to know from its parent. If the child’s emotional needs are not taken care of when the family increases, the child will feel a need to compete for affection from the parents, which could turn into a painful situation. With this being said the child grows into an adult with suppressed aggression. If he/she has not learned how to deal with...
Miller, Rowland S. Intimate Relationships. 6th Ed. New York; The McGraw- Hill Companies, 2012. Print.
Most studies in marital conflict pertain to three particular dimensions of communication. The first dimension is affect which refers to messages that express positive or negative feelings about another person, such as supportiveness, hostility, confirmation, coercion, sarcasm, or global positiveness or negativeness (e.g., Gottman, 1979 and Sillars and Wilmot, 1994). The second dimension to characterize conflict behaviors is whether they are constructive or destructive for the parties’ relationship. Research in the United States indicates that exiting from the relationship and neglecting the partner are destructive problem-solving responses and are more powerfully predictive of couple distress than giving voice to problems and being passive loyal (e.g., Rusbult, Johnson, & Morrow, 1986). The third dimension to characterize conflict management is engagement versus avoidance (e.g., Hocker and Wilmot, 1991 and Sillars and Wilmot, 1994). Engagement is reflected in direct, overt verbal confrontation of conflict issues, while conflict avoidance is reflected in withdrawal and aversion to dealing directly with conflict issues (Canary, Cupach, & Messman, 1995) and includes circumscribed, irrelevant, or ambiguous communication. Since the purpose of this study is to examine the effect of culture on marital conflict strategies and marital satisfaction, the discussion will be limited to the third dimension of marital conflict, engagement–avoidance, along with Rahim's styles of conflict.
Even traditionally strong relationships, such as marriage, are prone to many instances of interpersonal conflicts. Home buying; what is important to each in a home? Career choices; does one career affect the other, if so, which one is more important to each? Holiday plans can involve conflict. Oftentimes during the holidays I would like to visit with my family...
The first study related to coping strategies that the authors mentioned was conducted by White and Mullen (1989). In this study, White and Mullen (1989) recognized and categorized eight separate coping strategies to handle jealousy such as denial and seeking social support. Buunk (1981) conducted a study that recognized four separate coping strategies that help people manage their jealously within an open-marriage. In another study, it was suggested that people tend to belittle specific traits in their competing partner that they believe to be of importance to their romantic partner (Schmitt, 1988). Self-reliance, self-bolstering, and psychological distancing are three psychological coping strategies mentioned by Salovey and Rodin (1988). Even more related to the current study, Buss (1988) and Buss and Shackelford (1997) dedicated research to study strategies used to keep partners. Continue Literature
Dormen, Lesley. Secrets and Lies: The Truth About Conjugal Discretion. Hearst Communications. 26 July 2010.
The first study tested three hypotheses. The overall focus was on increased intimacy in romantic relationships as a result of open communication about relational uncertainty in the process reducing said uncertainty. Hypothesis 1 can be explained as: the higher the uncertainty is regarding the individual, the individual’s partner, and their relationship, the lower the level of intimacy. This essentially means that your perception of intimacy, or closeness, in a relationship is going to be lower when you, your partner, and your relationship have more uncertainty. Hypothesis 2 states that when couples openly communicate about their uncertainties in the relationship, they feel more intimacy in their relationship. Talking about your doubts, fears, unanswered questions, etc. creates a sense of closeness. Hypothesis 3 states that when the relationship uncertainty is decreased, there will be an increase in intimacy. The researchers emphasized the significance of the uncertainty reduction process on the increase in intimacy as opposed to lowering un...
Dainton and Gross (2008) specifically discuss the repercussions that negative behaviors such as jealousy induction may have on relationship maintenance. For instance utilizing negative maintenance behaviors such as jealousy to react to a relationship is negatively associated with relationship satisfaction. This research is tied in with the idea of social support and how individual respond to their partners. Researchers agree that jealousy in relationships can have a negative impact, yet also enhance romantic feelings and satisfaction based on how jealousy is initially communicated (Dainton & Gross, 2008; Yoshimura, 2004). “An essential idea behind this study is that the ways in which jealous individuals communicate their jealousy influence how the target communicatively responds. The results showed that targets of jealousy expressions most strongly respond in the style of the initial expression” (Yoshimura, 2004, p. 95). The way jealousy is expressed initially based on attitude and mood can affect the response of the partner and at shaping and guiding the relat...
These secrets show their partner that they are thinking of them and care about their happiness and the well-being of the relationship. In the article The power of secrets, writer Evan Imber-Black says, “We live in a culture whose messages about secrecy are truly confounding.” (Imber-Black). Some secrets are small but slowly erode trust. Fear of a spouse’s reaction can cause individuals to begin to hide something that they purchased or say they were at the office when they were really with friends. A distance will begin to between them and their spouse bit by bit until they are looking across a huge chasm at him or her. Secrets can wreak havoc on the very foundation of a relationship.
Watching male and female do various ways in their relationship, there are some certain contrasts to men and women conflict styles plus their purposes. For example, women focus on making a connection with people that she contacts with. Sharing information, telling experience, discussing problems, or gossiping secrets are essential to girls’ daily life. When women jump out from friends zones to love zones, they see the processes and lever, step by step, of themselves and their boyfriends are important.
Intimate relationships are a lot of times used for one’s personal needs. Relationships are being created with significant others for many different reason. I have never experienced being in a relationship for the wrong reasons, so I cannot talk much about this. However I can tell you a common issue I personally notice in today’s relationship struggling is the partners don’t talk about their feelings with one another. “Difficulty articulating what you feel; many adults don’t know to express what they feel. Instead, you communicate what you think” (Sachs, 2005). I believe this statement has a lot of truth to it because a lot of couples will not talk things out hoping that they will reside, when in reality that doesn’t happen. Tony and I could definitely work on this factor in our relationship, I have a hard time opening up and telling him my feelings about stuff that may be going on. Tony is really good about telling me how he feels at any time. I struggle with this because I push it off not hoping it will reside but because I feel like it is something I will get over and move on with. This is something we both are willing to work on and it will take time to accomplish