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Recommended: Theory of forgiveness
Research analysis: “Forgiveness or breakup: Sex differences in responses to a partner’s infidelity”
Mary Evelyn Crowder
The University of Tennessee at Chattanooga
Research analysis: “Forgiveness or breakup: Sex differences in responses to a partner’s infidelity” “Forgiveness or breakup: Sex differences in responses to a partner’s infidelity” is a study that was conducted by Todd K. Shackelford from Florida Atlantic University in Davie, David M. Buss from the University of Texas at Austin, and Kevin Bennett from the University of New Mexico in Albuquerque. The purpose of this research was to test the sex differences in response to two different types of infidelity (emotional and sexual). Forgiveness and breakup were the two separate responses to infidelity that this study
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The first study related to coping strategies that the authors mentioned was conducted by White and Mullen (1989). In this study, White and Mullen (1989) recognized and categorized eight separate coping strategies to handle jealousy such as denial and seeking social support. Buunk (1981) conducted a study that recognized four separate coping strategies that help people manage their jealously within an open-marriage. In another study, it was suggested that people tend to belittle specific traits in their competing partner that they believe to be of importance to their romantic partner (Schmitt, 1988). Self-reliance, self-bolstering, and psychological distancing are three psychological coping strategies mentioned by Salovey and Rodin (1988). Even more related to the current study, Buss (1988) and Buss and Shackelford (1997) dedicated research to study strategies used to keep partners. Continue Literature
Forgiveness and justice are very similar than we believe them to be. We believe that justice is
addictions and why many people do not understand it at all. The stories from real people
A man has been married to his wife for seven years. The couple has two beautiful children, a fabulous home, and appear to have the perfect marriage. After the husband leaves work one afternoon, he decides to stop in at the local bar. The man sits at a table in the corner of the room. Not long after his arrival, a woman approaches him. She asks the man if she can join him at his table. The two seem to have quite a bit in common and enjoy each other’s company. The woman asks if he would like to go back to her apartment. He has not had a fight with his wife today. In fact, she surprised him with a love note in his briefcase. Their sex life is enjoyable, frequent, and without complaint. The couple is not currently having financial problems. Despite this, why did the man decide to leave with a stranger and cheat on his wife? A great deal of research has been carried out on the topic of infidelity. Marital therapists have reported that more than half of the couples they counsel are in therapy as a result of infidelity (Atkins, Jacobson citation). Therapists also consider an extramarital affair as, “one of the most damaging relationship events and one of the most difficult problems to treat in couples therapy” (whisman predicting sexual infidelity…). Some therapists estimate that 50% to 65% of couples seek help after an incident of infidelity in their relationship (Atkins, Jacobson & Baucom). Identifying the reasons for this problem are essential to the success of its reduction. Infidelity is not a new phenomenon. However, there was little research on the topic until the late 1970’s (Drigotas & Barta, 2001). Numerous factors have been examined while trying to determine the root cause for extramarital relationships a...
Guilt, Duty, and Unrequited Love: Deconstructing the Love Triangles in James Joyce’s The Dead and Thomas Hardy’s Jude the Obscure
Carpenter, C. J. (2012). Meta-analyses of sex differences in responses to sexual versus emotional infidelity: Men and women are more similar than different.Psychology of Women Quarterly, 36(1), 25-37.
Writers have different motivations on why they decide on what they write about. It must be something that will grab the reader’s attention and make them want to read their works. Often writers include situations that are not considered appropriate for the era when the piece was written. Some subjects are too sexually explicit. In two such short stories, Kate Chopin’s “The Storm” and Anton Chekhov’s “The Lady with the Little Dog,” both writers chose to involve adultery in their stories. Whatever motivation there is to cheat on a spouse, there is not an acceptable reason to do it. This controversial subject was not common and both authors chose to break the rules. Although equally successful in their writings, Chopin’s “The Storm”, was not published until many years after her death.
Infidelity is depicted as an extremely negative thing in the United States, and is often blamed for trust issues, psychologically damaging the spouse and their children, tearing apart marriages and families and more. People who commit adultery are often shamed and told how wrong what they did is and what a terrible person they are for doing it. According to the Journal of Martial and Family by the Associated Press, however, 41% of “marriages where one or both spouses admit to infidelity, either physical or emotional.” Clearly, while infidelity is generally viewed negative by society, many people either decide that it is not as negative as it is portrayed, or do not care and do it anyway. “The Lady with the Pet Dog” and “The Storm” both go against the typical view of adultery being a negative thing in a relationship by showing that it can actually have a beneficial outcome and leave some, if not all people happier.
Today, forgiveness is a slippery slope, and isolating the distinction between a pardon and forgiveness can be confusing, especially when the pardoning is public. Lately, forgiveness is doled out like candy in a parade. Though unearned and often underserved, it is given without any preemptive question or reasonable justification. Of course, there are those that might argue their forgiveness is in the spirit of their religion, their morals, and fairly enough, in the spirit of growth and healing; however, there are certain circumstances, such as those of the My Lai Massacre, where none of the above can justify forgiveness. In light of this, it was an egregious misjudgment and mistake by the United States Government to pardon the soldiers and officers
In today’s society, infidelity is one of the leading causes of marital disruption and divorce. In accordance with societal norms many myths have been associated with infidelity. The following myths and their effects on marriage will be discussed: Everyone has affairs, the affair is the direct result of the faithful mate and, the marriage must end in divorce. In examining the various myths, this paper will challenge the greater issue, can marriage survive infidelity?
In addition to the investment model, Rusbult (1991) proposed the concept of accommodation process to help explain conflict resolution in relationships. Accommodation processes refer to the tendency of an individual to respond to her or his partner’s destructive actions with a constructive action. Rusbult (1991) described four distinct accommodation processes: exit, voice, neglect, and loyalty behaviors. The four behaviors can be classified as either constructive or destructive and as passive or active. Exit behaviors actively aim to end the relationship by performing actions that signify intent to leave the relationship (e.g., storming out of a room during an argument). Neglect behaviors refer to passive avoidance of the partner or issues regarding the partner, such as an individual not acknowledging her or his partner’s feelings as a result of anger. Both types of behaviors damage the relationship, and are therefore classified as destructive. Contrastingly, the constructive behaviors of voice and loyalty work to benefit the retention of the relationship. Voice behaviors encompass active, positive communication in response to destructive behavior from the partner (e.g., consoling an angered partner). Loyalty is categorized as a passive behavior in which the individual remains hopeful that the condition of her or his relationship will improve. Although exhibiting constructive behavior may benefit the relationship, lack of destructive behavior appears to be more consequential than the presence of constructive behaviors (Rusbult, Verette, Whitney, Slovik, & Lipkus, 1991).
Weeks & Fife (2013) point out some different phases of forgiveness which might be useful to unpack with the couple such as “ceasing to seek justice, ceasing to feel anger, wishing the other person well and restoring relational trust” (p. 271). It is important for the couple to begin the process of forgiveness once both of them have worked through the affair and are moving towards reconciliation. “As the couple begins to comprehend and appreciate how they failed to address various issues in their relationship, they begin to see how they made themselves vulnerable to the experience of an affair” (Weeks & Fife, 2013, p. 272). Once a deeper understanding is achieved, than a deeper forgiveness can be achieved as well.
The Immorality of Adultery Sex is believed, by some, to be a universal language, one that is free
Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense. It is also the discarding of negative emotions, such as revenge, with an increased ability to wish the offender well. In this study, the researcher explored how justification and apologies have to be phrased and framed to render them acceptable to the victims.
Forgiveness is the act of releasing an offender of any wrong or hurt they may have caused you whether they deserve it or not. It is a decision to let go of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group of people. When we choose to forgive, we’re wiping the slate clean, cancelling a debt, or as I love to say, “Letting it go.” In the Bible, the Greek word for forgiveness literally means to “let it go.” This concept, “forgiveness,” is easier said than done. Majority of people find it very difficult to let go of offenses and hurts caused by others. I really do believe that most people desire to let it go, but we lack the knowledge of how to do it. As believers, we are instructed by God maintain an attitude of forgiveness.
Repentance is essential when it comes to salvation. One must repent of his or her sins to truly believe on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. As it has been correctly stated, “Repentance and faith are two sides of the same coin.” One cannot repent unless he or she believes in Jesus Christ. Paul said in 2 Timothy 2:25, “God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth.” This sums up the relationship between saving faith and repentance.