Reflective Essay: My Struggle With Writing

I struggle to express my thoughts into words. Getting them in order, and keeping them that way has never been easy. Especially since I picture events, objects, or ‘how-to’s, more than I describe them. Reading involves pictures, and I’ve had advanced reading since I was in school. My struggle with writing has caused some shaming experiences. When I was in third grade, for example.

I was sitting in my third grade classroom. Everything was quiet. It was kind of dark, because we used the sunlight more than the room lights. I wasn’t paying too much attention, for I had already done the math work, when the teacher said “Okay, class. Everyone get out a piece of paper, and write down whatever you are thinking while writing.” I panicked. I had no idea how to write a good essay on what I was thinking. I honestly wanted to keep what I was thinking to myself. I started to write down words that were randomly popping in and out of my head. I would pause every now and then because I would’ve stopped thinking words, and pulled out pictures. I was terrified that what I was doing wasn’t enough. Then, I heard a dreadful sentence.

“Pencils down. Your ten minutes are up.” When I handed in the paper, I had written a few small paragraphs, by what I had been told. I had put down random words with no intelligible connection. I only accomplished to fill out half the page, and I was expected to fill the entire thing in ten minutes. I was disappointed in myself, that I could not find a way to fill the page.

This experience has caused me to be cynical of english.

I highly dislike the fact that most of our grade is based on our writing ability. I could read as many books as possible at the start of the school year all they way to the end. I still won’t get more than a D. As long as I don’t write.

It’s taught me that the world prefers writing over reading. You can read, and read, but if you can’t write, then you won’t pass high school. You can read, and read, but if you can’t write, then you can’t get certain jobs. You can read, and enjoy yourself while doing so, but you will still be expected to be able to write an essay so advanced it would make a young child cry, because they could not find a way to fulfill all the requirements. This is why I am ashamed of the event. I am ashamed because having to write essays within an hour causes me to cry on the

inside.