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Gender differences in stress and coping skills
Gender differences in stress and coping skills
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A rebound relationship is a partnership between two people that forms shortly after a romantic breakup (Brumbaugh & Fraley 2015).Often, feelings about the former relationship have not been resolved before entering into the new partnership. A common conception of popular culture is that individuals should avoid entering a new relationship soon after the dissolution of a previous relationship so as they have time to fully recover (Find a source). Nonetheless, there is little research supporting the notion that ‘time heals all’ after relationship breakdown. In fact, there is evidence to suggest that rebound relationships may improve the life satisfaction and wellbeing of the broken hearted (Hoades, Kamp Dush, Atkins, Stanley & Markman 2011). At the conclusion of a relationship, distress, challenges with detachment, depression and loss of support systems are notable emotions that may make it difficult for a person to move forward from this taxing event (Davis, Shaver & Vernon 2003). Through the exploration of investment models, attachment styles and gender, it may be possible to attribute greater life satisfaction to rebound relationships post breakup. Relationship dissolution is often painful and accompanied by an array of complex emotions such as …show more content…
The promise of a new relationship, in and of itself, has been linked to detachment from an ex-partner and greater life satisfaction (Hoades, Kamp Dush, Atkins, Stanley & Markman 2011). Anxiously attached individuals, in particular, benefit from the positive rebound effects because they are able to focus on new relationship options and in turn let go of extreme feelings toward their ex-partner (Spielmann et al 2009). This is an adaptive coping mechanism because anxious individuals are found to become more optimistic about future romantic prospects, rather than ruminating on the lost
Karen, R., (1998). Becoming Attached: First Relationships and How They Shape Our Capacity to Love. New York: Oxford Press.
middle of paper ... ... Ceglian, C. & Gardner, S. (1999) Attachment style, Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 31:1-2, 125-139 Gottman,J. Levenson R. (2000) The timing of divorce: Predicting when a couple will divorce over a 14 year period. Journal of Marriage and the family.
“what have we learned.” To prevent any kind of confusion, Waldinger divides what he has learned from this study into three lessons. He reinforces the big value of relations with some metaphors: “the experience of loneliness turns out to be toxic.” He wants to convey how threatening the loneliness is. “loneliness kills.” To stop any doubt that his metaphor is exaggerated, he supports it with evidences, facts and detailed surveys: “more than one in five Americans will report that they're lonely,” “The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80.” These surveys and facts mainly support not only his point but also his aim beyond that talk. The power of relationships: “good relationships keep us happier and healthier.” He also illustrates the previous point by reports from the study: “Our most happily partnered men and women reported, in their 80s, that on the days when they had more physical pain, their mood stayed just as happy. But the people who were in unhappy relationships, on the days when they reported more physical pain, it was magnified by more emotional pain.” Additionally, he illustrates how the relationships can keep us healthier: “High-conflict marriages, for example, without much affection, turn out to be very bad for our health, perhaps worse than getting divorced. And living in the midst of good, warm relationships is protective.” Waldinger develops that the relationships do not just protect physical health, they protect brains: “the people who are in relationships where they really feel they can count on the other person in times of need, those people's memories stay sharper longer. And the people in relationships where they feel they really can't count on the other one, those are the people who experience earlier memory
Fairy tales tell us that once upon a time a girl met a boy; they fell in love, and lived happily ever after. Reality is not that simple. Long-term relationships force couples to get to know each other, involve themselves in each others’ worlds, fight through the hard times, and eventually develop deeper connections as noted through distinctive stages of Knapp’s relationship model. Although I have dated the same person for over two years, our communication through relationship stages makes it seem as though I am now dating a different person than the one I met years ago. Following dissolution and subsequent repair, I realize the most exhilarating of roller coaster rides develop through sets of ups and downs, much like the stages on how our relationship is built.
I have learned that, interpersonal relationships are difficult to maintain. I often ask myself why, relationships require so much work. Why do I, stay in a relationship where the bad outweighs the good? The social exchange perspective argues, according to Monge & Contractor, as cited by West & Turner that “People calculate the overall worth of a particular relationship by subtracting its cost from the rewards it provides.”
Pasley, Kay. “The Long-Term Effects Of Divorce.” Stepfamilies 16.1 (1996): 11. MAS Ultra – School Edition.Web. 26 Feb. 2014.
While, approximately 45% of marriages in America end in divorce, there are various amounts of sociological reasons for this number being so high (Hyde). Truly, while thinking about all of the factors that go into a divorce, they can be overwhelming. The first reading for this class, “Taking a New Look at a Familiar World” had examined the reason for a girlfriend breaking up with her boyfriend. During this reading the author had examined the reasons for a break up and said that there are a significant amount of other possibilities for the break up (Newman). Michael and Louise had broken up and Louise was the one to initiate the break up (Newman). People tend to use an individualistic explanation for the break up and blame it on one or both of the individuals personally (Newman). If the break up is looked at from a sociological standpoint, then one can see that there are many of other factors that could be the reason for Michael and Louise breaking up. Other circumstances that could of led to a break up could have been the availability in the dating market, as well as a change in what a partner needs in a relationship
Barry et al. (2009) surveyed 710 emerging adults, ages 18 to 26, to examine the interrelations of identity development and the achievement of adulthood criteria with the qualities of romantic relationships and friendships during emerging adulthood. In their study, they found that as emerging adults take on adult roles and responsibilities, the quality of their friendships and romantic relationships are affected. Barry et al. argue that “relationships with friends and romantic partners serve distinct functions” during emerging adulthood (p. 220). According to Barry et al., friendships “satisfy social integration needs [such as companionship], feelings of worth, and to a lesser degree, intimacy” whereas “romantic relationships primarily satisfy intimacy needs and provide emotional support” (p. 210). Although both friendships and romantic relationships satisfy intimacy and emotional needs to different degrees, romantic partners fulfill intimacy and emotional needs on a more profound note that may be more suitable and “useful in supporting emerging adults for subsequent development tasks of establishing a marriage, family, and career” (p. 218). Essentially, romantic relationships deeply satisfy intimacy needs and provide emerging adults with the proper emotional support necessary to successfully complete the traditional
Marital satisfaction and other related contacts (e.g., marital adjustment, marital quality, and marital happiness) are studied widely by family researchers. However, there is no consensus regarding their definition and measurement. Some scholars have argued that these constmcts are not synonymous (e.g., Heyman, Sayers, & Bellack, 1994;
“In particular, not only are rates of IPV expected to be higher in a capitalist economy than a socialist one, but rates of IPV, are also expected to be higher during periods of economic downturn and recession than during periods of relative prosperity” (Hattery and Smith 211). Relationships that undergo financial hardships through economic slumps are likely to create problems because doubts are raised towards the ability of the man to provide for his relationship, which trigger outbursts because men see that as an attack on their manhood. But through recessions and lean employment periods, women see the importance in which there are advantages in having an additional income to supplement their living conditions. “Thus, marriage—or long-term
Lavner, J. A., & Bradbury, T. N. (2012). Why do even satisfied newlyweds eventually go on to divorce?. Journal Of Family Psychology, 26(1), 1-10. doi:10.1037/a0025966
Brenning, K.M. & Braet, C. (2013). The emotion regulation model of attachment: An emotion-specific approach. Personal Relationships, 20(1), 107-123. Doi: 10.1111/j.1475-6811.2012.01399.x
This really hit home for me. I put way too much of myself into all of my relationships, and when they dissolve, I lose my identity completely. I think I have improved tremendously since high school, but I still need to be careful with myself. This showed me exactly what not to do; which is unfortunately exactly what I’ve been doing. My anxious attachment affects everything I do and all the relationships I have. Based on my findings, most everyone with anxious attachments feels the same way.
The fairy tales say that once upon a time a girl met a boy; they fell in love, and lived happily ever after. Reality is not that simple. Long-term relationships force couples to get to know each other, involve themselves in each others’ worlds, fight through the hard times, and eventually develop deeper connections through distinctive stages of Knapp’s relationship model. Although I have dated the same person for over two years, the stages of our communication make it seem as though I am now dating a different person following dissolution and subsequent repair. However, even the most exhilarating of roller coaster rides develop through a combination of ups and downs, much like the stages of a relationship.
Fingerman, K., & Lang, F. (2004). Growing Together: Personal Relationships across the Life Span. New York: Cambridge University Press.