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Recommended: Influences of attachment theory on emotional development

As developmental psychologists, we are taught about attachment styles at a very early stage in our education. By the time we become educated on the different attachment styles, we are often too quick to move on to the next subject of study rather than internalize what we have learned. The attachment styles we develop as children are crucial to many aspects of our life and development and can tell us many things about ourselves through adolescence and adulthood. Attachment in peer relationships, romantic relationships, and family structure can help or hinder portions of our identity development. Attachment can also explain or predict certain behaviors we may see as we age, and any impact those behaviors have on our identity development in adolescence. It is my aim to explain the types of attachment seen in both children and adults and illustrate how they relate to the formation of identity throughout the lifespan. I will then use what I have learned introspectively and relate my findings on attachment styles and identity development to my personal life story for analysis. In 1970, developmental psychologist Mary Ainsworth designed a study in the hopes of classifying varying types of attachments seen in children (Ainsworth & Bell, 1970). The study consisted of a parent and 12-18 month old child entering a strange but appealing room filled with toys. On multiple occasions, the mother would leave and a stranger would enter and try to console the child, who was upset with the departure of the mother. The mother would then return, and the behavior of the child would be recorded. Researchers labeled the behavior patterns of children in the study as “strange situation classifications”, and focused on four behaviors – separation anxiety... ... middle of paper ... ...hese youth display concerns of being abandoned, being taken advantage of, or of failing to meet their needs for a great sense of security, likely due to their experiences with higher levels of anxiety. Relationships characterized by emotional over-involvement leads to the persons identity being defined mainly in terms of the relationship itself” (Avila, Cabral, & Matos, 2002). This really hit home for me. I put way too much of myself into all of my relationships, and when they dissolve, I lose my identity completely. I think I have improved tremendously since high school, but I still need to be careful with myself. This showed me exactly what not to do; which is unfortunately exactly what I’ve been doing. My anxious attachment affects everything I do and all the relationships I have. Based on my findings, most everyone with anxious attachments feels the same way.

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