Pre-MPA Speech

Twas the night before Pre-MPA and all through the band room the band beaners scurried. We were filled with joy. We were filled with excitement. Pre-MPA was coming and we were ready. Pre-MPA is basically a show off event for all high school band members. Usually only the top ensembles attend. It is on rarity that you see a symphonic and a concert band from one school perform at Pre-MPA. To continue, we were on our way to FIU and of course we were intimidated by the band kids of the rich schools. To us they were: Gulf Coast High school, Barron High School, and Naples High School. They had the chance to wear all black, usually all conservative clothing. We wore our marching band uniforms. How intimidating is that?

*Microphone screeches* “Welcome to the FIU invitational of the Pre-MPA performance. Today your judges are Matthew Maxwell, Sarah Roberts, and Tim Robinson.” The whole crowd of band students and band directors clap. But lucky for my school these judges had already seen our whole set of performances. I know, lucky

us. So they introduced the first band. I believe it was Immokalee High School. Usually the first few performances are not as interesting as the end. You know you have to end with a bang. They did impressively okay looking back at prior performances. After 5 hours of not so intriguing ensembles, it was finally Golden Gate’s turn. Our selection included Mandalen Landscapes, Synchronism, and Chimes of Liberty. So we played them. To my best belief the one where everyone messed up on mostly was Mandalen Landscapes. The proper chords were never heard. Basically there was no depth in that selection.
The last band to play was the Palmetto Ridge High School symphonic ensemble. To cut this part of the story shorter, they played beautifully; and not to be cocky I do believe our band played better than any other school. So then we were dismissed and everyone went to their buses.
Here’s where the most interesting part actually begins. We were on our way Il Primo, just as a little treat to from our band director. Once we arrive everyone was in shock. This Il Primo was huge. It was almost like a Dave and Busters. Everyone was having fun; eating their pizza and wings, drinking as much soda as possible. All because we were starving; well at least I was. Anyone that knows me, knows that I love Dr. Pepper. I’ve always loved it. So I drank 2 medium sized cups of it. Barely even ate anything; probably had one slice of pepperoni pizza. Once everyone had finished eating we all went outside and form some sort of dance circle. We basically danced battled each other. Every instrumental section against each other. The trumpet section won.
Suddenly, in the midst of the darkness our band director emerges out. He yells and claps along, “Band! Atten Hut!” “Titans!” we yell back and stand at attention. Our director continues on, “Band you’ve done great tonight. Better than most. Give yourselves a round of applause.” We clap and go back to attention. He goes on, “I am so proud to inform you all that we have received straight superiors tonight, you may now relax and cheer upon yourselves.” So we do so. Then at one point the band boosters grab a cooler full of Gatorade and pour it all over my band directors suit and tie attire. He became red as a tomato. But he was too ecstatic to even care at the moment.
Here’s where the actual story begins. We aboard the buses. 15 minutes after the buses left the IL Primos I had this urge to use the rest room. I then realized where we were, still in Miami. I had another two or even three more hours till we reached the high school. And like in any stressful situation I try my best relax about it and not think about it. In know this wasn’t the smartest part to do this, but I told my friend that I had to pee. Like immediately. She must’ve thought I was kidding so to just make it even worse she took every water trick there was to make me have the urge to pee. The pain was so agonizing. Just to inform you I was born with the smallest of all bladders. So when I have to go, I have to go.
Finally an hour goes by and I see that we just reached Fort Myers.

I was dying. Did I mention that I actually cried? It didn’t help, it actually made it worse. To do this day I am in awe of how I held it for so long. Suddenly the bus driver leaves the high way. At that moment my heart starts pumping full of excitement. My bladder was literally about to explode. We reach the front gate to enter the school. And guess what? The front gate was locked. Therefore my band director didn’t have a key to the front gate. He only had a key to the back. Thus making us all go around to the other side of the world to get inside. At this point I just had given up on life. I remember saying to myself, “I’m going to die having to pee.” We finally reach the other side of the gate. My band director opens the gate. So we wait for him to slowly walk up to the bus. We wait for the bus driver to slowly close the door. Also we wait for him to slowly start the bus

again.
Truly if it wasn’t for those darn band kids I would’ve peed in a cup in front of everyone. Continuing, the bus driver makes a U-turn in order to get into the bus loop. He goes over one speed bump. And the pressure was strong. Like really strong. Then he goes over another one. I literally almost felt like my water was going to break. And finally he reached the last speed bump. I hold my breath in hoping that I was not going to burst out in front of these people. And then he comes to a stop, I exhale. Once that exhale happened all my effort all went south. A little trickle started happening. I was not in control anymore. The pee was coming out whether I wanted it to come out or not. I tried standing up. Didn’t help. I screamed for mercy. “Please! Please! Please!” Nope that pee wanted to come out and was not going to let me hold it in any longer. It spurted out softly but really fast.
People walked by stepping on my pee. They even asked at one point, “Why is the floor so wet?” I didn’t say anything. I was the last person the bus, waiting for everyone to leave. My drum major went back on the bus for inspection and she found me there. She asked me what was going on. I told her. She laughed but promised to never tell anyone. She pinky promised me. I ran outside, found the darkest corner, and put on different pants. I waited for everyone to leave, like literally everyone. I didn’t want anyone to see the crime I had committed. I went inside the band room only finding my band director there. I asked for his phone to call my father to pick me up. I called. He asked if everything was okay. And with a high pitched voice I said “Yeah.” He knew I was lying. The bus driver told him what I had done. He laughed at me on my way out but I was too embarrassed to even care. My dad picked me up after that.
To be honest, although this was the very first and last time I peed my pants, at the age of seventeen, I learned a lot from this situation. You know what I didn’t learn anything from this memory. I learned what it was like to be truly embarrassed. To anyone out there that has peed their pants on a band bus trust me you’ll make it through. People stopped calling me wet pants only for 8 months. It wasn’t a big deal. Trust me if I can get over it, you can get over it.