Personal Narrative: My Experience At The Athletic Team

Sweat dripping down my face as I attempt to catch my breath in the warm and humid air. My arms are aching and sore with pain. I look to my right and see Javaughn struggling to stay up. I yelled over, “Don’t give up, we’ll have to start over again!” The look on Javaughn’s face clearly expressed that my tone of voice wasn’t as encouraging as I meant it to be. I maintained eye contact with him to reassure him that I was trying to encourage him instead of yelling out of disappointment.

We had just lost in the third round of playoffs in the AAU national tournament. Javaughn and I were co-captains of the team and our coach, my Uncle Earl, made us do three push ups for every point we lost by, in front of our teammates, because we displayed poor leadership and sportsmanship by yelling at the team and arguing with our teammates

when they made a mistake. Growing up, my uncle had always been more of a role model than a coach and never missed the opportunity to teach me life lessons. After the forty-seventh push up, Coach Earl had us stand up and apologize to our teammates.
Once we arrived back to the hotel, Coach Earl pulled me aside and told me to take a walk with him. I nervously said ok and went with him. I was scared that he would yell at me some more for my actions during the game, like he had previous times before. Whenever the team got yelled at, I got the pleasure of getting lectured a second time on the rides home from practices and games. At the time I didn’t understand that he was so hard on me because he was trying to shape me into a respectable man and make me a better leader. But to my surprise, he didn’t yell and he was the furthest thing from angry.
We walked down the main street that the hotel was on in Memphis, Tennessee.

On the walk he asked me, “what did you think yelling at your teammates would accomplish?” I told him that I thought it would make them play better. He then explained that it was his job to yell at the team and that my role as team captain was to encourage the team to play better through my actions. He said that by letting my anger get the best of me, I not only scared my teammates but I also gave them the green light to argue with each other which broke the team chemistry and led to the loss.

The most important thing he said to me in the conversation applied less to basketball, but more to the rest of my life. He said, “a feared man is much less powerful and much less of a leader than a respected man.” I did not understand what he was trying to say so he explained more. He said, “... real leadership comes from respect and not fear. By getting others to fear you, they will not actually listen to your view on things and you will never actually be a leader. But if you respect other’s opinions then they will respect your opinions, but most importantly, they will respect

you.”
This conversation marked a changing point in my life. From that point forward, I based my life off of those words. I started working on becoming a respectable man. I began handling situations differently. I noticed a difference in the way my friends, family, teammates, and teachers viewed me. Now I look everyone in the eye and greet everyone when I walk into rooms. I speak with confidence. But what's more important than how I speak or act is how I listen and treat people. I digest people's opinions and treat them with respect.