Personal Narrative: How Music Changed My Life

Music is one of the most fantastical forms of entertainment. Its history stretches all the way from the primitive polyrhythmic drums in Africa to our modern day pop music we listen to on our phones. It has the ability to amaze us, to capture our attention and leave us in awe. It soothes the hearts of billions, and it is so deeply rooted in my life that it has touched my heart as well. Everyday I walk to the beat of the song stuck in my head and hum along to the melody. For me, to listen to music be lifted into the air by the hands of your imagination and float around for a while. You forget about your worries, your troubles and find peace within the sound. Every chapter in my life is attached with a song. Every time I listen to a certain song, thoughts of my past come flooding back

into my head. They play like a movie in a theater, so precious in the moment, yet gone sooner than we think.
My musical journey begins with my parents. Ever since I was a little boy my parents greatly influenced the type of music I listened to. Sometimes in our house they would play Maroon 5 on the radio, and on long car trips they would play Billy Joel albums.
Naturally, I grew to like his type of songs. So much so that the first song that connected with a memory is “Honesty” by Billy Joel. I do not remember the details of the experience, only that I was very little at the time. In my mind I see myself at the innocent age of four. I was walking around my house, meandering about. I enter the kitchen and my mother is there, cooking dinner. She has a radio out, playing that same song. I remember her dancing with me, and me laughing uncontrollably. This was one of my happiest moments of my early childhood. Things were so simple back then. All you had to worry about was preschool and toys. It was one of my earliest memories linked to music, and the beginning of them.
I grew up listening to Billy Joel, and I idolized him. I went through my days listening to his music, singing it in my head. My parents bought me two CD’s from one of his albums, and every time I stepped foot in my father’s car I demanded that he play them. It is possible that this was the reason why I drew myself to the piano. I fantasized about playing like Billy Joel, Back then school was easy, and I just breezed by. I impressed my parents with my grades and diplomas, and it made me feel so contented. It is possible that since these were my more happy memories my brain connected Billy Joel’s songs with them. Every time I would listen to one of his songs it made me feel the same way.
Flash forward a couple of years and I transferred from a public school to a private, all-boys school. I was sad about leaving my friends, but I knew I had to make the jump so that i could get a better education. My next, most prominent memory was associated with “Scenes From an Italian Restaurant”. I recall hearing it in my mom’s car, on the first day at my new school. Once it came on my mom’s radio I felt that same, warm feeling and let myself go to the music. I was nine years old. I was inexperienced in life, yet to have undergone the troubling trials of puberty and maturity. I was stress free at the time, and had thought that my new school would be the same as my old one; not difficult at all. Oh boy, how wrong I was. I had no idea what I was stepping to, what work load I would be exposed to. I was extremely underprepared for what would happen to me. I now look back on those times, when I was carefree and actually happy. This is why every time I listen to these songs, it brings me back to my joyful memories. If only all of my memories were like that.
As I said before, my new school was rough. Since I was not expecting such a heavy amount of homework, I did not do very well. I struggled at first, both academically and socially. Most of my classmates were noisy, obnoxious and had difficulties with their classwork as well. Since I was nine at the time, and now one year younger than everybody else, I was physically smaller than everybody else. I grew more and more self-conscious, wary of messing up or displeasing my fellow classmates. They spoke louder than me, and I grew quiet. My ways of thinking did not match theirs, so I fell into a pit of loneliness. I grew accustomed to the work and it became easy again after a few months, but I remained quiet. I became an introvert, and each day I would be confined to the prison that is my mind.
I had few friends at the time. All of my childhood friends that lived next to me moved away, and I found myself staying in my house more and more. Instead of playing outside or even playing sports at my school, I developed a video game addiction. Hours upon hours were wasted on those games, so much so that I was almost cut off from the real world.
Those were my much darker, dismal times.
My music had changed as well. Each day, I tried to listen to the same Billy Joel songs I used to like. I tried to feel that same warm, radiant feeling lift me in the air, but it just wasn’t the same. Nothing at the time could raise me up out of that situation. I took to listening to more somber, quiet music. Soon after a lot of digging I found a song that I really liked: “Vincent” by Don McLean. I remember listening to it the first time, desperate for some music to make me feel better. I recall laying down in my bed, giving myself up to the music. Gazing upon the ceiling I thought about giving up. Never going to school, running away. I contemplated silently whether to continue fighting this “feeling” or not. My mind had not ever explored such treacherous terrains. It had never experienced how depressing life could actually be. At that time I too felt that “this world was never meant for me”.
Recollecting those memories, I now see that I was scared as well.

Frightened by such ghastly thoughts, I forced myself to stop thinking them. I considered the options, and knew that there was no option to quit. I took my life into my hands and went back to my tedious work. That day is one of great significance for that is when I realized I truly held the power to change my life - for better or for worse.
I wonder if that day changed me - forged me into the person that I am today. I’m not quite sure if it changed me, but I am sure it changed something. After that day, whenever I listen to those lighthearted songs of Billy Joel, they just don’t feel the same.
Other things in my life changed as well. I started to care about school, and developed a love for learning. My grades reflected this, and soon I began to like school again. I became cheerful and jubilant in my own ways. I was still under the clutches of my computer addiction, but things were looking up. I made some new friends in my class, and was generally a nicer person. I started listening to the same songs I always have, but at the same time branched out to different genres. I became a better person both in and out of my

house.