Personal Barriers Essay

Personal barriers are the barriers created by the perpetrator in order to maintain power and control. These barriers are usually the tactics shown on the power and control wheel (see the Power and Control Wheel & Equality Wheel). Each batterer chooses a unique pattern of behavior that most effectively controls the responses of the survivor. However, many of the tactics are commonly used. The threat of physical and sexual violence is the ultimate threat, but it is important to remember that physical violence is only one of the factors restricting survivor’s choices.

• Hope and Love: Battered women (sometimes) stay for varying lengths of time because they love their partner and very much hope they will change their behavior. All women want the

Sometimes survivors reason that they will sacrifice themselves for their children, so that their children can have a father, or so that their children will be able to go to good schools, live in a safe neighborhood and have financial security. Women may not want to see their children have to leave their home, their neighborhood and their schools. Women may not believe they are capable of supporting their children on their own.

• Believing what their Assailant Tells Them: When someone hears the same statements repeated constantly, and when they have been isolated from support that could counteract these statements, they become easy to believe.

• Fear of Dying: Battered women are in real danger. A batterer’s violent behavior can be lethal. This is particularly true when a woman is leaving or has left the relationship; the majority of women killed by their batterers are killed at this time. When the assailant feels he can no longer maintain power and control over her and keep her in the relationship, he is more likely to escalate to murder. Often, a batterer will repeat the threat that if she leaves, he will kill her. He has made good on many of his other threats, so she has every reason to believe he will this time

Violence can also create long term effects including include distress, flashbacks, anxiety, inability to concentrate, feelings of unreality, depression, and suicidal ideation. Even where the abuse does not have physical long-term effects or result in PTSD, the survivor of an abusive relationship will often suffer low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness. Survivors commonly comment on feeling somehow ‘different’ to their peers, as though their experiences have in some way set them apart from the rest of society. Due to the controlling aspects of an abusive relationship, the survivors may find it difficult to make personal decisions and easily feel overwhelmed by everyday