Marriage can be the happiest or saddest thing in the world to married couples depend on their relationships. Even though people get married because they love each other and want to be happy, there are many couples who are miserable and unhappy. Some people choose to get divorced feeling that their choice was a mistake. Abigail Abrams, a reporter at Time magazine, says that researchers have found that typical marriages have a 50% chance of lasting. Marriage is fragile. People get divorced because of conflicts, problems, or challenges that they may face as they live together. One thing common in divorce is because of the lack of communication or miscommunication. Some couples misunderstand communication as demand or request. Communication, however, …show more content…
Joel Schwarz also talks about the importance of communicating in the way that their spouses want to be treated in the article “UW researchers can predict newlyweds divorce, marital stability with 87 percent accuracy”. UW psychology professor John Gottman and others have found that happiest couples know what the wants and desires of each other so well that they speak in almost in one voice to each other because they are tuned into in to each other (Schwarz). Adjusting to each other helps newlyweds to have a happy and lasting marriage. Some people might question about the idea of communicating to their spouses in the way that their spouses wants to be treated if their spouses married them because their spouses love them as they are. However, communicating in their spouse’s ways is not about themselves, but it is about understanding of their spouses and allowing their spouses feel the love that they have for them. Stephen Richards Covey talks about the important communication principle in his book best-selling book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. One of the principles of effective communication he tells in his book is “Seek first to understand, then to be understood” (348). Marriage problems occur when people are selfish, and try to be understood first. As we seek first to understand our spouses, the relationship can start to improve dramatically. We cannot force …show more content…
After getting married, couples tend to neglect spending quality time together. It is easy for them to just let time go by. If newlyweds do not put their effort in their relationship by making time for each other, their relationship will not improve nor stay the same. Moreover, they worsen their relationship without noticing by not making time for each other because they prioritize something else more than each other. Tim Muehlhoff, a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California encourages couples to “make a date to talk”. He is inviting couples to make time specifically to talk so that they can discuss any important matters they do not usually talk. It is a wonderful time for couples to share their feelings because they are ready to talk and listen by setting a date and time to talk. Rachel Smith provides another ways to spend time together in the article, “The 12 SERETS[sic] of happy couples” such as talking for 30 minutes a day and going to bed at the same time (Smith). Small things help couples stay together and protect the love that they have for each other because couples began to feel more comfortable sharing their thoughts and
It is not all about communication” . It says that not surprisingly those couples who reported communicating more effectively showed the highest satisfaction with their relationships. But the next two reasons which were also the only other ones with strong links to couple happiness, were knowledge of partner which included everything from knowing their pizza-topping preferences to their hopes and dreams and life skills like being able to hold a job, manage money, etc . But in order to have a healthy relationship I do believe that the communication is key but they also do need to know how to communicate in a healthy way that will not cause
Communications generally occur in body languages: how the individuals interpret each other. Her essay is an event that is reoccurring more and more lately. The event results in a failure in marriage. In today’s society more and more people are splitting up or having divorces due to miscommunications. The essay, “Sex, Lies and Conversation,” that Deborah Tannen wrote is much use of today because it explains where miscommunications happen and she has her own studies and research to back it up. The essay goes into depth about her ideologies that cause miscommunications. Look at a miscommunication twice and do not be quick to judge because it will save plenty of
If man and the woman both had the same communication ways they would be more successful in marriage. Many of the communication issues are brought up in the article “Sex, Lies, and Conversation by Deborah Tannen.” Tannen states that men and women argue with one another over communication which leads to marital problems and divorce. Men and women have different viewpoints on communication. Women see bad communication as the one of the major reasons for divorce. Also the way men and women communicate are very different. Men are very different than women they do not like to communicate as much like women. Men don’t talk about their problems and women love to talk about them. Communication is seen as one major cause leading to a relationship failure. When couples get married the women is always looking for a good comuincator.
Gottman (1999) conveys that the integration of active listening and conflict resolution techniques is not sufficient to safeguard marriages from a probable divorce. Due to that couples who develop throughout the years a high level of
"Why Don’t We Listen Better?," authored by James Petersen (2015), is an extraordinary book written on communication, imparts the understanding of the impact and outcomes of skills of communication in relationships; therefore it is an excellent book for those who long for great communication skills. Exercising learned principles will enable a learner to work well with other people, communicate effectively with others, grow a more in-depth relationship with people to those who desire a healthier relationship and aspires to do what you can to enhance their lives. The objective of this book is to guide a reader to learn to be "A better listener" in the communication which transforms lives into a higher quality of life establishing healthy relationships. In summary, the Talker-listener approach of this book in communication between people causes a true transformation in lives and improving their listening abilities. Moreover, this
Communication is one of the most important variables in keeping a healthy marriage. Without healthy communication, marriages could e...
In the book, Reconcilable Differences, the authors explained, “While we typically think of communication as meaning how we talk or how our partners talk, there is another important part of communication to consider: how we and our partners listen” (Christensen et al. 249). When we completely listen to what our partner is saying, we can totally connect to our own needs and emotions. Listening gives us an opportunity to truly understand what the issue is about and makes it easier for others to actually hear us. Based on my interview I conducted, about 100% women stated that their partners could hear them but never actually listen to what they were trying to say, nor understand how they feel about the issue. Also, improving our non-verbal communication, like eye-contact, facial expression, gesture or posture, can help resolve conflicts between couples. The author of Diagnosis: Married emphasizes, “Communication, either verbal or non-verbal, is the most important element in any relationship” (Dawson 1). These non-verbal signals may help us figure out the root of the problem. A good example is whenever I feel upset about laundry, my husband would notice the way I roll my eyes and shake my head while I’m sorting the clothes. At that point, he knows that I am tired and need his
The article “Sex, Lies and Conversation; Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to EachOther?” by Deborah Tannen talks about the possible reasons as to why it is difficult for men and women to communicate with each other in their everyday lives. She begins by explaining about a gathering that she addressed in which woman attended with their husbands. During the gathering she experiences a man who was chattering the whole time yet stated that his wife is actually the talker in the relationship when it comes to nonpublic communication. Tannen than begins to analyze as to why, in the modern world, men prefer their wives to be the talker in their relationship, and how could miscommunication, lead to divorce. Tannen addresses multiple causes about why men and woman react so differently when it comes to talking to each other, such as childhood conditioning, different attention processing, and misinterpretation when speaking.
Deborah Tannen, in her article “Sex, Lies, and Conversation,” discusses how differently men and women communicate and how this causes confusion and often times disorder in marriage. She goes on to explain that in order for men and women to effectively communicate, each sex has to understand the way the other sex communicates. Generally, men are more talkative in public situations, yet they are more quiet at home situations (Tannen p. 408), which can cause problems in marriages if men and women don’t understand the ways both sexes communicate. Tannen explains how men and women’s brains function differently and how one thing may mean a completely different thing to the opposite sex. Silence, to men, for instance, means a completely different
Communication is a huge asset in a marriage or any relationship. Men and women have different means of communication. Deborah Tannen, the author of “Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?,” has a PhD in linguistics. She is known for her research on how people of different genders communicate. Tannen’s essay appeared in the Washington Post in 1990. Tannen discusses the communication battle, listening to body language, and the sounds of silence. Tannen states that men speak more in a public setting than they do at home. Her research shows that a lack of communication is causing problems in many marriages. Without a doubt, communication and understanding can be a positive factor in a relationship.
In many different lessons we discussed communication and all of the other topics are based off of communication. Talking to your spouse and sharing your feelings will help you both to meet each others needs. How we communicate with our spouse will have a large impact on marital happiness and satisfaction. Having good listening skills will help to improve your communication.
Human institution are not perfect, so is married couples. Effective interpersonal communication is essential in resolving frequent problem that arise from every human marriage.
Some factors that contribute to the failure of a marriage include a lack of communication or poor communication, financial issues and even the circumstances of the marriage. All of these issues can exist in a healthy and enduring marriage but if they are not dealt with properly they can lead to the failure of the marriage. Communication is critical to the success of a marriage. Without proper communication, conflict resolution becomes a difficult issue. If the couple lacks the communication skills necessary to resolve their problems, then even the smallest problems will become insurmountable.
The first significant cause for divorce is lack of communication. In a marriage, the lack of communication represents a major issue and can hinder the relationship badly. When couples are unable to communicate effectively their feeling or needs, they have become distant to each other emotionally and physically. Some couples do not create time to talk to one another. When a problem starts, which can soon become a bigger issue when ignored. When couples are unable to resol...
The success of any relationship relies on the ability to communicate well. Communication is important in all relationships as it allows us to share our interests, concerns, and support of each other. It helps us to organize our lives and make decisions; and it allows us to work together. Effective communication is based on the way we talk and listen, how we respond as well as our body language. We can all learn how to improve the way we communicate because it takes more than words to create a safe, exciting and secure relationship. All too often the signals we send are not those we intend to send, and when this happens, both the connection and trust are lost in our relationships.