What I identified form the feedback I got back was that my thesis statement was strong. This gave the essay a strong start by focusing on the main points. Making my points clear to the audience made it easy to identify what it was I wanted to convey. I think I did a good job structuring my essay, to include focusing on what related to the changes caused by the exposure to radiation. The areas that I need improvement in are, to be selective on references and use of words citied. I need to be precise on what information I use in my essay, that requires the appropriate source cited. I think becoming more aware of how much of my essay comes from other sources will enhance my writing skills. When using quoted sources in my essay I need to introduce them appropriately, this can cause confusion for the reader. …show more content…
I need to use better transitions when moving on to my next to topic for better flow of the information.
I will take the opportunity to improve in the areas I highlighted. To improve my use of references, I will make a list of potential references. I will then identify which references add value to my essay. After choosing what reference to use, I will check for reliability. I will provide enough information for the reader so that they can identify the source. According to The Simplest Way to Write an Essay “Find quotes from reputable sources that support what you’ve stated within your thesis and that relate to your first paragraph topic” (Hoyt). Using this information will help me eliminate unnecessary sources. I will also check my essay for uncited sources I may not be aware of, to prevent not crediting sources. To help with the transitions I will take more time about how I want to approach my
next topic. What I discovered in researching ideas to improve my transition was “Good transitions can connect paragraphs and turn disconnected writing into a unified whole” (Ryan Weber). Connecting the paragraphs in an easy fashion will help the reader understand where I am trying go in the essay. To improving my punctuation skills, I will need to take more time scan my essay for these errors. I reviewed correct usage of basic punctuation signs. I found that “Punctuation shows how the sentence should be read and makes the meaning clear” (Skills You Need). Improvements in this area will allowed the reader to understand how the message is to be read and give the reader clarity on what emotions I might be trying to invoke. I hope to use this information I researched to improve my writing skills. Taking more time to review my essay from the readers point of view can also help me catch errors that can cause confusion
It was quite challenging for me because the research process was long and I wasn’t read the articles carefully enough. After I gathered all the article I was lucky to find many goods points from the articles to support my point. It is better to have many resources to use for the final essay, so I was trying to carefully maximize the use of those articles. It is important to find the article so that can be evidence to support my argument. I was having hard time to distinguigh between primary source and secondary source. The librarian was very helpful in help me to find a primary source to use for my
Overall, your paper was well organized. You state your points in your thesis statement and you stick to them within your paper.
One thing that clearly helped as it would in most cases was to read the book. Not only does it provide you with quotations that helt support your thesis, but also gives you an understanding what criticisms would be appropriate to use.
Sometimes my professors asked me to write this type of essays. However, I do not think that I wrote them correctly. Because I did not know the structure of this essay. Also, I did not know how to discuss
In this assignment, I needed a purpose and a key issue to complete this assignment. The purpose of this assignment was to create a research paper about philosophy and I had to explain how it played a role in Ancient Greece. I had to explain about my assigned philosopher who was Epicurus and I had to discuss how he felt about government and what he teaches the people of Ancient Greece. The key issue is to accurately write an organized essay with multiple sources. I had to get two physical sources and at least one source from the internet. In every quote I had to explain or paraphrase that quote and that shows Clarity. Then when I was finished with the internal citations, I had to develop a works cited page with all the sources I used in my research paper. This shows that I used accuracy and precision because I used sources ...
Nice job on this, Alex. I like the thesis, and it is developed well, but it isn’t that terribly complex. It didn’t flow that well in the beginning, but it got better. Very clear, but style and higher-level thinking will help you get to the A zone. clarity: A-, thesis development: B, evidence: B+, style: B-, convention: B. overall: B
I have come up with this thesis by gathering information from online and what I have seen and read about over the years. Below are the areas used and addressed from the Thesis Checklist:
Many of the mistakes I would have deemed inconsequential in the past resembles glaring flaws now. The introduction and conclusion paragraphs were where the most work was done. In the introduction, I inserted a hook and blended the paragraph together. I accomplished this by adding transition words and changing the tense to fit the rest of the essay. In the conclusion, I completely started over. The original was bland, boring, and just plain repetitive. In the revised version, I outlined the essay, restated the thesis, and ended by suggestion other applications.
The question was to write a 4 page in which you discuss the impact a on-literacy text has on your reading of “The Lottery,” “Sonny’s Blues,” OR “Hills Like White Elephants.” I chose the story “Sonny’s Blues” because I Understood this story better than others. First of all, since I did not get good grades, I thought I should put more effort on these papers in order to do better in this course. So, I tried to use some higher level words so that my paper may look like a higher writer’s paper. Same as the 1st paper, my thesis statement still was not clear because the way I put the thesis, it seems like my opinion, however, If I try I can make it look like a better thesis statement. For example, “I think you can work on your thesis. Your thesis is like generalized about the story but professor want something that changed or confirmed your view. Definitely, you can work on thesis to make clear idea what this essay is about.” (Peer Review 2- Islam) In other words, as I said, my thesis is more look like a sentence that summarizes the story where in this paper, it should look like a change that after reading a secondary source have made. This was my thesis, “A non literary text impact various way depending on how an individual analyzes the piece.” (Paper 2-page 1). After the peer review, I have changed my thesis statement into something like this “Reading
In this essay I will compare person-Centred counselling with cognitive-Behavioural counselling and their different approaches and why the counselling relationship is so important. There will be a brief outline of what Person Centred and Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy.
The assignment encourages you to write as a critical thinker. In writing an essay with an attention of an audience you need to evaluate your ideas—the thesis of your essay—and support them with appropriate evidence—your personal story. Credibility is also important in an essay and by examining the relationship among language knowledge and power the writer make the essay stronger. We also have to be able to write as a researcher, understand how to write an essay in MLA language and appropriate style. In addition to all the foregoing, with the peer review we understand the writing process, critical revision, and drafting.
...ragraphs that support the argument. The easiest part of this component was actually inserting it in my essay after I understood the purpose for it, because at the beginning I was confused on the whole thesis concept. The thesis was the most challenging because I kept asking myself "Can I really argue this for five to six pages?" and also "Is this even considered a thesis statement?" I noticed that I can speak and write more effectively when I'm thinking critically and intellectually. My sentence structure has always been strong and I feel it has grown because of the practice we have had in class with finding thesis statements in our readings. My overall issue with this component of the writing process is using a justifiable argument and remembering to support my argument with claims and trying not to put unnecessary points in my paper while maintaining my ethos.
I used plenty of second-hand sources, as the prompt requires, yet I seemed to rely too heavily on the evidence and not enough on how that contributed to my personal argument. I noticed while looking over this essay that I had a small obsession with short sentence structure, as nearly half of all my sentences were short in length, with only one “long” sentence present. My vocabulary was decent, but undeveloped in this essay. My argument about a scholarly issue could be strengthened with stronger diction. My transitions were sound in this essay, and the essay read smoothly. In this essay, my conclusive skills are displayed as I correctly wrap up my argument, and reiterate the main points of the prior
The first thing I would look at is the structure of your essay. The paper feels like it jumps around a lot. There are several places where I think you could split a single paragraph into several, and add more information to both paragraphs. The first time I noticed this was on your first page in your second paragraph. I think it would be much stronger if you ended the second paragraph after you say “made it okay for women to be a part of that industry”. I think the second part about Lydia Thompson stands on its own, especially because it introduces a new topic with burlesque coming to America. I would spilt this paragraph again after “made for a wild spectacle”, because you go into talking about how theatre was predominantly male, and this feels like a whole new topic.
While brainstorming the process essay, I realized my weaknesses and planned better how to strengthen them. I knew simple grammatical errors and transitions were two of the most important ones I needed to correct. So while thinking of my topics to include in my essay, I thought of how each of them connected. In what ways can I draw connections between the three of these topics? Through asking myself this question, I transitioned from the paragraph of agency background to volunteer work with a more satisfying flow (“The Civic Responsibility” 2). While it took me longer to draft this essay, it ended up being worth it in the long run. I felt more accomplished of this paper and when I received feedback that required me to change minimal things; I knew it was worth