My Racial Identity In The Life Span

In elementary school my decision to not speak Spanish, stemmed from my need to conform, but my racial identity was a mixed child still remain strong, I was not consciously making a decision to reject this particular part of my identity, because at this point I had not developed enough of a sense of self to recognize my deviation (Broderick & Blewitt, The Life Span p. 353). In middle and high school however, I did outwardly experience ambivalence in my racial identity. Although my schools were very accepting, and I did not experience racism at all, I did feel I was discriminated against based on my intellectual abilities for being in special education. This being said, despite many attempts to get myself out of these remedial classes, I soon realized that intellectual capability would remain a secure and stable part of my life, but being mixed, race I felt my racial identity was fluid.

In my situation I felt I did fit in to the status quo on a intellectual level or a racial one, so I decided that if I conformed and altered my racial identity, this would lessen the deviation between me and my peers.

During this time, I washed and straightened my curly hair on a daily bases, and I tried wear clothes that everyone else bought (Juicy Couture), and I tried to speak more “white,” although my speech already reflected a more scholarly and proper prose, based on the environment I was placed. According to theorists, racial identity is something many adolescents, especially minority’s face, and in doing so many teen either immerse themselves in there racial group or reject it (Broderick & Blewitt, The Life Span p. 354). No doubt, I immersed myself into my white identity and rejected other parts such as my Black or Hispanic

heritage.
According to Phinney (1989) racial identity formation reflects the same four aspects of other parts of Identity: foreclosure, moratorium, diffusion and achievement; and it can be said that during this time I was continuously in a phase of moratorium. I often too the time to reflect on the differences between the minority and majority populations, and continued to do so throughout college even, when I tried to identify with my Black ethnicity as well. Today I have achieved identity formation in regards to my racial standing, representing myself as a person of mixed race, and do not identify with either race more or less. Phinney states that achievement in the area does not have to correlate with high involvement cultural groups, and I dignify this, as I regard myself today as a person who is not defined, but only influenced my my racial identification. I am lucky to have had parents who encouraged my racial exploration, and understood that this was a vital part of my overall development. I believe that because one of my parents is of mixed race as well, my parents understood the need to examine who I was in the world in regard to my race (Broderick & Blewitt, The Life Span p. 356, The Case of Multiracial Youth).
Overall, my identity formation development has been a long but rewarding journey. In all honesty, writing this paper and exploring my own developmental themes, through the eyes of such theorist as Erikson and Marcia have been an eye opening and even therapeutic exploration into my own life. As said in Eriksons theory, although identity achievement is the overarching goal, the concept of identity is always being revised throughout ones life, and I have no doubt that although I have reached identity formation that the product of examining my own life in these contexts will lead to a revision in the perspective I have of myself. Adolescence is a time of exploration and questioning oneself with the goal to identify, is healthy, natural, adaptive and almost necessary for teens to go through this period of their lives. Every person will have there own story as to how they have become who they are today, and this essay reflects my pilgrimage into becoming the mature, independent, hardworking young woman I have become today.