My Personal Experience with Gender Identity Disorder

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I am an eighteen year old girl and for as long as I can remember; being female didn’t seem right to me. I felt like I was trapped in a body that wasn’t mine and I still feel that way today. The gender I identify with is the opposite of what people perceive me to be. It is like someone played a nasty trick on me and now I am forced to be something I am not.

When I was little I hated getting dressed up for holidays, parties, or any other kind of occasion. My mom would buy me these dresses and insist that I wore them. I started refusing to wear them and would not go anywhere if I had to. I went to a catholic school for a little while where it was required for me to wear a dress. Eventually my mother had to transfer me to public school because I was refusing to go. I preferred to hang out with my brother and the other boys on our street and play sports with them like football and hockey. I just identified with boys more and felt more like myself when I would hang out with them. I would get my clothes from the boys section and would always keep my hair very short. I remember hating Christmas because I would never get anything I asked for. I would get Barbie dolls and makeup, while my brother would get everything that I was asking for. At the age of thirteen my breasts started to develop and I hated them. I would wrap my chest up with an ace bandage to make them less noticeable. I didn’t want anyone to see them and I didn’t want them to be there.

I am not good at maintaining relationships. I never know where I stand in many relationships and what my role is. I have very few friends and I have never had a romantic relationship with anyone. I tend to stay to myself and don’t go out to many social events. I tend to stay at home and keep to myself. My parents were worried about me and sent me to see a therapist. After seeing him a few times he diagnosed me with Gender Identity Disorder.

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