Modern Modest Proposal Essay

A Modern Modest Proposal: Trimming the Fat of America
In the past decades, America has changed in big ways. By "big ways", I literally mean big. America is fat. People in America are not just chubby, they are fat. There are many factors that have caused the obesity in America. The cause that is seen as the leading producer of fat Americans is fast food. There are countless fast food places available for people, and they are cheaper than healthy meal ingredients at the local supermarket. Another issue is gyms. Every person is expeditious to join a gym because in their minds, they are about to produce a variance in themselves. However, that is very contradicting. People waste money on gym memberships because they never go. They are either intimidated by it, or they are just too slothful to go. Finally, everyone is quick to try the new diet plan or take a weight loss supplement pill. However, they usually either don't stick to the diet, or the diet just doesn't work on normal people. America is fat and we can thank these reasons for it.We need a plan to put America back in shape.
My proposal to trim the fat of America is simple. First, we

need to knock down all fast food restaurants. Every person, from birth to death, eats fast food which is why it needs to be terminated. Next, we need to use the rubble from those places as a source of energy. This can be done by burning the remains of each building to be used as heat, electricity, or other various sources of energy we use in our everyday lives. Finally, there is just no hope in changing the lifestyle and condition of some people. Those people are over 300 pounds. This means we need to kill off any person over 300 pounds so we can start right away with a healthier country. People under 300 pounds still have the chance to lose weight, therefore they are allowed to live. That is my proposal for trimming the fat of America. This method to solving the problem is very reasonable, and it will put this nation in a much better health situation. It is also the only logical plan. People aren't going to become fit by themselves. We need to force them to work out and eat right. We need to make the decisions for them because this is America, and we are too lazy to formulate our own decisions as a population. We can't just sit around and give them options on how to lose weight if they want to. We need to take the initiative for them. This is the only logical way. This plan is not needed, it is absolutely essential.
There are numerous advantages to performing this plan.

By knocking down all of those fast food buildings, we can gain an immense amount of energy. We can burn the rubble for energy. We can use it for heat, electricity, gas, and other forms of energy. By doing this, we can preserve our limited amount of fossil fuels for later. Another advantage to this proposal is the fact that we would no longer be labeled the "fat country" of the world. Our country would be so much healthier and efficient that our reputation would improve. I know it seems impossible for America to improve its reputation, but it could happen. Finally, another advantage would be an increase in money for our country. Less money would be spent on food imports, medical insurance, and other various social programs. These advantages could improve our country by a

landslide.
America is currently trying multiple tactics against this problem and none of them work. For instance, putting people on a diet will never work. They never stick to the plan and it is unknown to how a diet will affect a person. They might not even lose weight on a diet just because of how their body works. There are too many "ifs" in diets and therefore they are not effective. Another tactic being used is offering different exercise programs. This doesn’t work either because giving people multiple options will cause them to feel overwhelmed. To avoid this feeling, people will decide to avoid the situation all together. Also, by offering different programs, people are going to choose the painless way out if they even make a decision. They will pick the easiest exercise program offered, and therefore this method does not work. Finally, people think that letting people have free will in this matter will help. They are wrong. Obese people can't make decisions about their health. That is why they are obese! Therefore, we need to step in and change their lives for them.
My proposal for trimming the fat of America is the only solution to this problem. Every other plan has been tried and our society has only become fatter over the matter. Therefore, by using my proposal, we can change America for the better. This proposal was not formed out of the opinion of one person. The plan was formed with the entire country in mind. The thought about how joyful we all would be came to my mind. Also, think about the fact that other countries would need to label us some other way. If we don’t do this, our country will be destroyed by fat people.