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Conflict and poverty in relationships
Negative effects of conflict
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Accepting another person as a significant other means accepting the way he or she lives. Though, this is something that we did not apprehend at the time of marriage. Additionally, the integration of two individuals in a marriage is nothing but a "combination" of two separate personalities. We are unable to accept our spouse the way she or he is because there are two different characters, mentalities, and philosophies at work. This is the reason for the increase of conflicts in marriage. How can we have a happy marriage? How can we work out these conflicts or relationship troubles? These are questions that are still confusing for many of us. Marriage is a wonderful thing, but to continue to live individual lives can make it difficult. “For …show more content…
Before marriage, couples often find themselves talking all the time, but this soon lessens over time. They must understand and learn from one another, by means of taking time to share their thoughts and feelings. For the marriage to grow in unison, and prosperity, each must try to know what the other is thinking. Problems can fester over time, if not addressed in a timely manner. Each should take a moment to listen, and look in each other’s eye, so you can recognize each other’s needs and concerns. Genuine compliments should also be a part of ordinary conversations. Always use kind words and be supportive and attentive, in addition to motivating each other to succeed in all areas of …show more content…
In his book it states that each person has a love language. These love languages are; words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. For example, my wife’s love language is service. If she is too busy or not feeling well, she knows that I think about her if I vacuum or mop the floors and do laundry or other items without her asking. My language is physical touch, which involves the holding hands in church, or having her laying her head on my shoulder. She knows that if I had a stressful day, she will give me a hug and rub my back. Both of us have quality time as a second love language, this would explain how we have been working together for the last ten years and always wanting each other’s
Human beings are not isolated individuals. We do not wander through a landscape of trees and dunes alone, reveling in our own thoughts. Rather, we need relationships with other human beings to give us a sense of support and guidance. We are social beings, who need talk and company almost as much as we need food and sleep. We need others so much, that we have developed a custom that will insure company: marriage. Marriage assures each of us of company and association, even if it is not always positive and helpful. Unfortunately, the great majority of marriages are not paragons of support. Instead, they hold danger and barbs for both members. Only the best marriages improve both partners. So when we look at all three of Janie’s marriages, only her marriage to Teacake shows the support, guidance, and love.
In the book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (1999) John M. Gottman provides insight on the seven fundamental tools to construct positive relationships. Through long years of research, Gottman studied married couples and noted degenerative behaviors that hindered the formation and attainment of a long and healthy marriage. Gottman research focused on several key behavioral predictors of divorce, which he calls the “The Four Horsemen”; Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling.
In The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work there are seven myths and seven real truths about marriage. The first myth is that neuroses or personality problems will ruin a marriage. The truth about that myth is that we all have our crazy buttons or issues we’re not totally rational about, but they don't necessarily interfere with marriage. The key to a happy marriage isn't having a "normal" personality, but finding someone with whom you get along with. The second myth is that common interests keep you together. The truth is that it is a plus to have common interests with someone, but is all depends on how you interact with the other person while pursuing those interests. The third myth is the saying "You scratch my back and .....". The real truth about this myth is that it is only a truly unhappy marriage where this quid pro quo operates, where each partner feels the need to tally up things the other partner did. Married couples should just do things for one another because it feels positive to them and their spouse. If you keep score in marriage it shows there is an area of tension in your marriage.
A marriage is the creation of a new family by bringing together two distinct people from individual and very distinctly different backgrounds. The bringing together of two different people often can cause conflict. Merging families can also create a harmonious relationship of balance and teamwork if both of their differences and similarities compliment each other. After conducting an interview with Darlene and Mike Smith it became very evident that theirs was a seemingly balanced and harmonious relationship. The interview asked questions about how things like their backgrounds, challenges together, boundaries, family interactions, and spirituality have developed into a family and marriage relationship that successfully navigates through life together.
...d hoping it would help me in my relationship, I found it to be helpful and resourceful. For one I realized me and my partner were speaking different languages of love. My primary love language is acts of service and my boyfriend’s primary language was physical touch. Our languages weren’t being communicated, and we were neglecting them. During the reading of the book I followed up on some of the exercises Chapman had advised to do. At first my boyfriend didn’t understand the reason of the exercises, as he had believed I was happy but when I asked him if he was happy he had said not really. So upon doing the exercises together we realized that without him speaking my primarily language I wasn’t giving him any acknowledge in his language. I later identified the sociological themes of symbolic interaction, social-conflict, and structural-functional within the book
Marriage is a commitment that seems to be getting harder to keep. The social standards placed on an individual by society and influenced by the media inevitably lead some to consider divorce as a “quick-fix” option. “Have it your way” has become a motto in the United States. It has become a country without any consideration of the psychological effects of marriage and divorce. The overwhelmingly high divorce rate is caused by a lack of moral beliefs and marital expectations.
The book The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Last by Gary Chapman talks about how to improve your marriage by loving your spouse how they want to be loved, not just by how you think you should love them. The book starts out with on page eleven with the chapter, “What Happens to Love After the Wedding.” Chapman tells his first story of the book that starts to talk about what he does and why it works. He is talking to a man on a plane who wonders why none of his three marriages lasted even though they were in love. Gary Chapman tells the readers that there are five primary love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. Each spouse will most likely have a different love language, and the key is to know what your partner’s is so that when you are loving towards them, it will mean significantly more for them. The man on the plane thought he was be very loving in each of the marriages, wanting it to work; however, even though he was
Marriage is a commitment and a pledge between a man and a woman. Communication and respect are the two critical parts of any relationship which permits couples to satisfy the promises that they made to each other. It gives them a chance to admit their sentiments and see each other 's disparities. Conversing can keep away from numerous issues, for example, misconception and contradictions. Through interaction, a person can tell the other person about what they want, think, and feel. In addition to interaction breakdown, absence of respect also influences relational unions by bringing stress between couples. There have been various marriages that failed because of these factors. This thought is outlined in Zora Neale Hurtson’s “Sweat” in which
This principle is the knowledge of the spouse’s small memories in life. This is the creation of a connection, which is a requirement for a healthy relationship. It is important for a husband and wife to connect, which means that they are turning towards one another, and this only achieved by the reflecting of minor times that are spent together connecting. The result of this is that partners will feel valued and appreciated by their partner. Gottman says that turning toward each other forms the foundation of emotional linking, passion, romance and an enjoyable sex life among couples. In addition, turning toward each other unites partners so that they can face the rough times in their marriage. According to Gottman, emotional reconnection is achieved through the little everyday things that make your spouse feel appreciated and valued (Gottman,
communicate with your spouse about certain issues you feel you have then you will get
When we think of marriage, the first thing that comes to mind is having a lasting relationship. Marriage is a commitment of two people to one another and to each other?s family, bonded by holy matrimony. When a couple plans to marry, they think of raising a family together, dedicating their life to each other. That?s the circle of life--our natural instinct to live and produce children and have those children demonstrate your own good morals. I have never been married; but I don?t understand why when two people get married and vow to be together for richer and poorer, better or worse, decide to just forget about that commitment. A marriage should be the most important decision a person makes in his or her life.
The Importance of Marriage Many people think that a wedding in a church is important so that the
In today’s culture the meaning of marriage has changed dramatically. It was once considered the union of one man with one woman; however, it is now thought of as the union of two people no matter the sex of those individuals. Nonetheless, it does not matter who makes up the marriage, but the characteristics of the love the two people share. With any marriage, there comes good times and there are also times of sorrow. Many people would like to say that these individuals going through hard times are failing at their marriages. However, according to the Christian Broadcasting Network, in order for a marriage too “survive difficult times…it will take lots of work and commitment to staying in the marriage.” (“What”)
...r of The Lord and the ultimate dependency in His grace and love. Then, as I submit myself to His will, also lay at His feet my marriage and my wife. After this, I believe I need to make a conscious decision to love my wife regardless of the circumstances and situations that we face. This part is extremely important. It is a rational resolution, not one that is conditioned by, but one that will prevail despite of actions or feelings. Next, pray for the cultivation of fruits of the spirit, love patience, kindness, etc to be the center of our marriage as we both seek to understand each other and love each other better. Finally, intentional time together to grow in The Lord, to pray and to enjoy one another will constitute the foundations of a marriage rooted in God. These steps cement a base in which we can build and grow our covenant with The Lord and with each other.
Getting married is the most important event in our life. From time to time, they always say, “Single life is a sweet dream and marriage is an alarm clock.” This proverb could make young people afraid when deciding whether or not they marry. However, there are differences that indicate pros and cons of both single life and married life. In general, single life can bring us freedom to experience life all by ourselves; at the same time, it also brings loneliness and detachment. In contrast, married life can fulfill us with love, care, and a sense of belonging; however, it also requires us a great deal of shared responsibilities. Understanding the differences between single life and married life especially on finance, emotion, and responsibility