The “fortress” is a life that may be hard for others to understand. Military communities do not live the life that most do. They have 5am wakeup calls, most instillations come to a halt at 5pm to honor the flag being lowered, and they enjoy the somber sounds of Taps being played at 9pm. That is what I miss most about living near an instillation. I loved taking that dogs out at 9pm and listening to the coyotes howl while Taps was being played. Life on an instillation is structured, but it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Structure is something that helps hold things together. Military kids are the ones that have it the hardest, they didn’t chose this lifestyle that they were brought into. Surprisingly, most of the time they are rather resilient. Military families are faces with numerous challenges and opportunities that help them develop diverse strengths …show more content…
(Hall, 2008). The kids are not exempt from that statement, they have to develop a strength to help them succeed. Losing a best friend to a child is one of the hardest things to do. For a military child, most have to do that every three years give or take. With technology today, things have become easier to keep in touch with friends that they have made at past duty stations as well as to help them talk with parents that are deployed. Deployments are also something that a child outside of the fortress would not understand. Military kids have to say goodbye to a parent, not knowing if they will ever see them again. That is a positive aspect of military communities, there are other kids that are going through the same situations. I don’t want to say that it makes it easier, but it helps when they know that they are not going through it alone. For me, I’ve been on both sides of it. We’ve live at an instillation and nowhere close, especially in recruiting. I think it’s easier living around the military community. For the kids transitioning, when they are around other kids that are going through the same thing it gives them something to bond over. On the outside, they are just that, an outsider trying to fit in. It’s not always an easy adjustment but with a strong family bond anything is possible. Military spouses, they are the glue that holds it all together. In the text there was a statement from Henderson (2006) that says… we consistently remind ourselves that we are responsible for more than each other and our children; I am responsible for 168 men and their families; she is responsible indirectly by bearing some responsibility for my well-being (Hall, 2008). I love this statement, it shows how important the role of a spouse truly is. They may not get any of the glory, just the satisfaction that they help their service members thrive. It is a role unlike any in the civilian world and it is one that most are proud to have. The majority overwhelmingly preferred the military lifestyle to a civilian-based lifestyle (Hall, 2008). Deployments are the hardest part of the military life.
I don’t think that anyone would say any different. It’s hard going through the day knowing that your loved one is halfway across the world and anything can happen. It does have its upsides though, it helps you appreciate your family and brings you closer together. To successfully get though a deployment you need to have faith, faith that the Lord will bring your loved one home to you. Sadly, it doesn’t always end the way we hope. I can’t even fathom the pain that it is to lose the one I love, and my heart goes out to all of those that have had to endure that pain. Living the “military life” is very different from any other lifestyle. It is one, that that at times, is controlled by others. Military families are always on someone else’s time. Plans are impossible to make and everything is spur of the moment. Some don’t have the foresight to see that it is a temporary situation. There is a whole life to live after the military. Not only is it not a bad way to live, but if one can roll with the tide, it may just end up being a pretty good
life.
Growing up I always had to deal with the fact that my father was involved in the military. My father was deployed twice: once in Germany, and later to Kuwait. I was only four years old when he first traveled and almost every day I asked where dad was. The second time I was fourteen, and I was devastated that my best friend wasn’t going to be home for a year. Both times he left, it was awful for my mom, my brother, and me because he was the one person that kept us together as a family and once he was gone we were just broken. A military family goes through more than a regular family does in a year. Those veterans have families, how do people think they feel. Children who live in a military family have a higher risk of depression, anxiety, and other mental issues. Although many people believe that we should send our soldiers overseas to keep our country safe, there is no reason why our
From the parent’s perspective it may be easier to move constantly compared to a child’s but, the benefits can make for memorable experiences for a child’s childhood. The constant moving and stationing of families in new area of the world can help promote diversity in children. Having the ability to live in new states or even countries brings about more diverse amount of cultural differences that can help children appreciate diversity in the world. The children can experience some difficulties when they first start moving to new areas. Some people think instead of promoting diversity in children the military become unsocial instead of experiencing different cultures. According Kelly, “military children who move more frequently experience a greater difficulty making new friends, have more difficulty in school and more emotional and behavior problems.” (Kelly) Kelly argues that for the children in the military they have harder experience adjusting to the new location making it hard for them to experience the diverse culture in school. With emotional and behavior problems included the children could never truly have the opportunity to e...
I learned it is absolutely essential to have girlfriends who support you and understand how tough deployment is on a spouse distancing yourself from people who don’t understand becomes almost inevitable. So it is of most importance to keep people around that do. We were able to sympathize, talk in the wee hours of the night and be such a huge comfort and inspiration. Truthfully, they’re a big reason I endured the deployment as well as I did. Staying busy is absolutely imperative. This is what I had forgotten when I allowed myself to become bound in depression. Every single day has to have purpose and goals. Keeping your mind on track is beyond importance. It also helps so your spouse knows your focusing on something other than being sad while he’s away.
There are several aspects of military life that are unique, and often misunderstood by educators. There are five main demands the military makes of the families of servicemembers, such as frequently moving, being separated from loved ones, deployment, risks such as injury or death, and behavioral norms (Segal, 1986). Permanent changes of station (PCS) make it difficult for families to build community ties, build strong relationships with school personnel, and receive continuous services, especially if children have special needs. Deployment is merely one aspect of military life that is strenuous for the families of active service members. Another hardship that many face is psychological issues. Some
The pre-deployment stage can be extremely stressful for the family, out of the three stages it is more often than not, the worst. During the pre-deployment stage, parents can sometimes become preoccupied with the preparation and anticipation of the Active Duty member leaving, and will spend little time preparing their children. When a child finds out that a parent is being deployed they can sometimes be overwhelmed with emotion. The child will go through two phases Expectation for Separation, and Emotional Withdrawal. Expectation for Separation usually occurs six to eight weeks prior to the deployment. Feelings during this phase can range from excitement, denial, fear, to even anger. Emotional Withdrawal usually occurs one week prior to deployment. Feelings that most children will experience include ambivalence, fear, resentment, and even guilt (U.S. Department of Defense, n.d.).
Life changes and feelings can include; relocation and frequent separations; earlier retirement compared to civilians; lack of control over promotions, pay increases, and benefits; feeling detached from mainstream or civilian lifestyles, isolation; social effects that rank can have on family, etc., (Hall, 2008). Families do have strengths that are common to and often a result from living within the fortress. These families strengths typically include: having a well provided for and safe life; even though these families may relocate often, typically they will have more support than civilian families that do the same (Hall, 2008) Also, children are able to accept new children at school; life actually becomes somewhat predictable and juvenile delinquency and school problems are less than what would be expected given all the circumstances (Hall,
When I asked him what it meant to be a soldier, it was as if everything he had listed were factors and experiences that shaped the caring father and loving husband he is today. Being a soldier means having integrity, maintaining high morale, while understanding that others safety and rights come before your own. Mr.Parker felt it in his heart, that his role and duty would continue to grow. Mr.Parker started a family consisting of two little girls, Sidney and Lanie. With the infinite support and love from his wife, Miranda, he’s continued filling his role as a soldier of the Colorado Army National Guard. Miranda also provides service in the Colorado Army National Guard. February 3rd, 2014, Lane joined this force. He emphasizes his gratitude towards his fellow soldiers. “The service members that I have served with and will serve with in the future, to me, are extensions of my family. I will protect and die for any of my brothers or sisters in uniform”, Mr.Parker proudly
On the other hand, the military lifestyle carries much more responsibility than the civilian lifestyle. There is always the threat of heading into a combat zone and having to risk your life. You have to be on time to work, there are no "I got stuck in traffic" excuses. You must always be well-groomed, and live up to the working and presentation standards of your specific military branch. You never have the option of saying "no" or just quitting
Military wives are perceived as stay at home moms that sit at home all day and take care of the kids. My views on the wives of soldiers is that they are pretty much single parents while their husbands are deployed. The wives are expected to keep the house up and running by doing the housework, cooking, cleaning and caring for the children. People on the outside looking in may think that all of the wives are unemployed and living off of their husbands. The wives are forced to deal with all the duties that, are they are supposed to share as a couple. In situations like this the wife may feel extremely overwhelmed, but the additional workload along with the work that she was doing before their husband was deployed. The conduction
A soldier's life is tremendously different than that of a civilian life so for a soldier who has been in the military for years it is literally nearly impossible to go back to a civilian, they loose there want to go back home like the lotus eaters in the Odyssey. The lotus eaters in the Odyssey are not evil beings there people who have fallen victim of eating a flower, the lotus flower.When they eat this flower they lose their will and want to go back home they desire only that flower and off the island where they grow they are nowhere else to be found. In a soldier's perspective the island is the military once they leave they can't find a lifestyle like the military gave them thus making them lose there want to go home. Soldiers who see going home as a civilian not hard there go home any chance they get, but the war doesn't always end on the frontlines it follows some all the way
Military children are our nation's children who are living in either military or civilian communities, which include urban, suburban, or rural settings. Military children experience unique challenges related to military life and culture when compared with non-military children. Therefore, some of the related challenges are due to deployment stressors, such as parental separation, family reunion, and reintegration. Due to the frequent moves, many military children experience disrupted relationships with friends, and must adapt to new schools and cultivate new community resources. Some children also experience the trauma of welcoming home a parent who returns with a combat injury or illness, or facing a parent's death. Recent research reveals an increase in military child maltreatment and neglect since the start of Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Iraqi Freedom (OEF/OIF).
When I was seventeen I nervously traveled about 350 miles from my sleepy little home town of Freedom, Wyoming to the relatively enormous city of Boise, Idaho to go to the Military Entrance Processing Station. This wasn 't the first time I had been this far from home by myself, but it was the first time I was making adult decisions without my parents involvement. When it came time for me to choose my job in the army the counselors presented me with a long list that I qualified for. I got tired of scrolling and reading so I chose the first job that I actually understood. I returned home and excitedly told my parents that I would be an infantry soldier. My dad 's response to this might be considered a little less than heart warming “You dumb ass. Why didn 't you choose
“How Deployment Stress Affects Families”. U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, 31 Oct. 2013. Web. 10 Nov. 2013.
Army life can be very challenging and a life changing experience. It was very challenging and life changing for me. I was raised by my Grandparents they did everything for me so this was a wakeup call for me on life. An independent person was not I, so I had problems with the changes about to come. Army life is constantly demanding and constantly changing without notice. Although the travel was exciting, army life for me was very challenging because I had to learn to adapt to a new system, to share my life with other soldiers, and to give up many of the comforts of home.
I was married in 2004 and became a father for the first time in 2006, these two new roles also assigned me the roles of husband and father, but also added the role of provider for my family. I grew up in a tree stand hunting with my parents however, it wasn’t until I had my first successful hunt that I achieved the role of hunter, which in turn added to my abilities to fill the role of provider for my family. After successfully completing boot camp in 1999, I became a Coast Guardsman. This new role caused the greatest amount of role conflict in my life. The expectations of my friends who wanted me to be the same person that they went to school with and partied with, directly conflicted with the new standards of conduct that I was expected to follow as a member of the military. These incompatible expectations led to the weeding out of those friends who could not accept my role as a Coast