Guyland Kimmel Summary

In Guyland, Kimmel discusses the cultures of entitlement, silence, and protection. Today, many young men have a “shockingly strong sense of male superiority and a diminished capacity for empathy.” (59) When guys subscribe to what Kimmel calls “Guy Code,” they are rewarded with this newfound sense of entitlement. Kimmel gives the example of white men in their late twenties and early thirties who participated in a show called “A Black Women Stole My Job.” Even though all of the candidates for the job were evaluated on the same platform and the black women was picked for the position, the men thought it was “their” job for the taking, even though they had never worked in that job to begin with. This sense of entitlement is one of the reasons that

violence is so prevalent among this age group of men. Although most men believe that acts of hazing, bullying, rape, and fighting are wrong, they conform to this culture of silence because they are afraid of being shunned by their peers. “Silence is one of the ways that boys become men.” (61) They are forced to be silent witnesses because if they were to express any vulnerability, they would likely become the next target. As Kimmel says, “what happens in Guyland stays in Guyland”. (62) By silencing oneself and turning a blind eye, these young men are not only supporting themselves, but also protecting themselves. When the community dismisses these violent acts, the criminals who commit these atrocious acts are protected, which in turn “enables them to transgress again, or even escalate the severity of their actions.” (63)

One of the main ways that guys bond and prove their manhood is through the institution of sports. “Guys like sports because it is the easiest way to choose ‘guy’ over ‘gay’—and make sure everyone gets the right idea about them.” (128) Sports play a very important role in solidifying male camaraderie because it allows men to talk to each other without having to disclose anything personal or show any emotion. Additionally, Kimmel points out that “sports enables men to deft the cardinal rule of masculinity—‘Don’t Cry”. (129) It is one of the few occasions where it is acceptable for men to express emotion. The liberation that is awarded by watching sports is a nice respite from the “relentless assertion of heterosexuality” that is expected of men (169).

One of the main ways that men assert their heterosexuality is scoring with women. However, the process of getting a woman to comply with any sexual advancement is just “as much a threat to their self-esteem as it is a booster.” (170) This is one of the reasons why men frequently turn to pornography to get their sexual fix. “The pornographized woman’s middle name is compliance” and she “always comes around eventually—and passionately.” (170) Kimmel addresses how the sexualization of women in the media is all part of an “anti-feminist backlash aimed at helping men regain their self esteem having been diminished by the women’s movement” (171). Pornography allows men to overcome the “street dilemma,” which is when men see girls walking down the street and knowing that they cannot see them naked or have sex with them. Kimmel discusses a website called slutbus.com, where you can watch videos of guys picking up random girls and offering them money for sex. After the girl agrees and has sex with the guys in the bus, they wave the money in her face and drive off without paying her. Websites like this along with many others solve the “street dilemma” and restore “men’s unchallenged authority” (177).

Guyland is characterized by the new phenomena of “hooking up” with girls.

Traditional forms of dating are very rare on college campuses, but now, “hooking up has become the alpha and omega of young adult romance.” (191) This culture has become so prevalent on college campuses that many young adults have difficulty making the change to serious, committed relationships in their post-college lives. Not only are men “delaying adulthood,” they are “entering it misinformed and ill prepared.” (192) In this culture, young men and women are constantly rating each other. Men need to belong to the cool fraternity, dress well, and be smooth, while women have to have “effortless perfection.” Although hooking up may seem equally desirable for both sexes, it “enhances his reputation whereas it damages hers” (197). Kimmel references an interview he had with one young man who said that as he was having sex with a girl, all his could think about was how excited he was to brag about it to his friends. He didn’t care at all about her preference to keep it between them. This is a classic example of how “girls live in Guyland, not the other way around. Whereas guys are permanent citizens, girls are legal aliens at best. As second class inhabitants, they are relegated to being party buddies, sex objects, or a means of access to other girls.” (245) In Guyland, a girl can either be a bitch, a babe, or a bro. Women are never equals, they are merely “prizes to be collected and conquered”

(151).

In conclusion, the continuous cycle of fear and control is the driving force behind Guyland. The fear of not being accepted by others coupled with the continuous effort to exert masculinity is what Guyland is all about. Whether it is though sports, video games, hazing, or fighting, men are constantly looking for ways to prove to others that they are in control. Kimmel explains that the “struggles to prove masculinity in Guyland come from fears of inadequacy, incompetence, and weakness.” (278) In order to address this problem, Kimmel believes that we need to develop a “new model of masculinity” and in order to do this, young men need to realize that standing up for what is right is what constitutes a real man, not being “a passive bystander, going along with what seems to be the crowds consensus” (287).