Guyland was written by Michael Scott Kimmel, a leading scholar and distinguished professor of sociology and gender studies at the Stony Brook University in New York. He is a spokesperson of the National Organization for Men Against Sexism (NOMAS) and also a longtime feminist. Kimmel defines Guyland as a stage in life where a boy transitions from adolescence to adulthood or simply, where a boy “becomes a man”. He also defines it as place or a bunch of places where guys go to meet with other guys to be guys with each other, effectively escaping the stress and hassle of parents, girlfriends, jobs, kids, and other responsibilities of adult life. Guyland is typically between the ages of sixteen and twenty-six but the upper range is continuously …show more content…
being extended as some guys remain in Guyland while in their thirties. Although Kimmel’s research and claims are not scholarly reviewed, he does a pretty good job of asserting his points and claims throughout the book, most of which I agree with. Kimmel uses a combination of over four hundred conducted interviews, anecdotes and socio-historical insights to offer a detailed analysis of the prevailing trend in mainstream North American youth culture.
Kimmel details the transition from adolescence to adulthood and the issues that young males encounter while trying to put forth their manliness and prove themselves to their peers. One of the things Kimmel pointed out which was an eye opener for me in terms of how much times has changed is that in the past, between the ages of sixteen and twenty-six, young men used this stage in life to prep for a life of work, committed relationships, and other responsibilities. Today, young men in Guyland spend their drinking, playing video games, having immature relationships with woman and participating in risky behavior. Kimmel goes on to explain that young men are “frighteningly dependent on peer culture” and “desperate to prove their masculinity in the eyes of other boys.” (Kimmel 2008, pg.30). They live in constant fear of not measuring up to the ideals of masculinity which Kimmel says are power, wealth, status, physicality and …show more content…
strength. I thought that Kimmel’s explanation of homophobia in relations to Guyland is very precise, he states that it is “the fear that people might misperceive you as gay—is the animating fear of American guys’ masculinity.” (Kimmel 2008, pg.50). Because young boys fixate on being perceived as a “man’s man” and are in constant fear that failure to do so will cause them to lose their friends and feel rejected. This forces them to suppress their emotions and wear a “mask of masculinity” effectively concealing it (Kimmel 2008, pg.53). Manliness is something that these young men must demonstrate on a daily basis, and frequently, they take huge risks to validate their masculinity. They take hang out in dangerous places, drive hazardously and take part in binge drinking, hazing. “Safety is emasculating,” and the pressures to participate in these dangerous activities are trending higher and higher (Kimmel 2008, pg.51). Kimmel does a good job of exploring the cultures of entitlement, silence, and protection.
Many young men today Kimmel says, have a “shockingly strong sense of male superiority and a diminished capacity for empathy.” (Kimmel 2008, pg.59). When guys subscribe to what Kimmel dubs the “Guy Code,” they get this newfound sense of entitlement. He provides an example of white men in their late twenties and early thirties who were on a show called “A Black Women Stole My Job.” Albeit all of the contenders for the job were evaluated on the same stage and the black women was chosen for the position, the men thought it should be “their” job even though they had never worked in that field to before. I liked this example because as Kimmel goes on to explain, this sense of entitlement is one of the reasons that violence is so rampant amongst men in this age group. While the majority of men label acts of bullying, fighting, hazing, and rape, and fighting as wrong, they conform to the culture of silence due to them afraid of being rejected by their peers. “Silence is one of the ways that boys become men.” (Kimmel 2008, pg.61). This is a powerful statement that Kimmel made that I strongly agree with, it instantly brought to mind cases of bullying where other young men are forced to be silent witnesses because if they were to display any vulnerability, chances are that they would become the next victim. As Kimmel says, “what happens in Guyland stays in Guyland”. (Kimmel 2008, pg.62). When
young men silence themselves and turn a blind eye, they are supporting as well as protecting themselves. When the public dismisses these violent acts, the perpetrator are in a sense protected, which in turn “enables them to transgress again, or even escalate the severity of their actions.” (Kimmel 2008, pg.63). In Guyland, young men strive to prove their manhood and one of the ways they achieve this is through the institution of sports. “Guys like sports because it is the easiest way to choose ‘guy’ over ‘gay’—and make sure everyone gets the right idea about them.” (Kimmel 2008, pg.128). Sports is integral in solidifying male companionship since it allows for men to talk to each other without having to disclose anything personal or to show emotions. Kimmel points out that “sports enables men to deft the cardinal rule of masculinity—‘Don’t Cry”. (Kimmel 2008, pg.129). It is one of the rare instances where it would be tolerable for men to show and express emotion. The benefit that comes from watching sports is a pleasant letup from the “relentless assertion of heterosexuality” that is expected of men (Kimmel 2008, pg.169). In my view, Kimmel is spot on with his explanation of one of the ways young men assert their heterosexuality is by “scoring” with women. From my personal observations whenever a guy “scores” with a girl he tends to tell his buddies about his experience in a sense showcasing his accomplishment and seeking praise from his peers. However, it’s like a double-edged sword because the process of getting a woman in bed is just “as much a threat to their self-esteem as it is a booster.” (Kimmel 2008, pg.170). Kimmel goes on to argue that this is a one of the reasons why men often fall back on pornography to get their sexual fix. Kimmel addresses how the sexualization of women in the media is all part of an “anti-feminist backlash aimed at helping men regain their self-esteem having been diminished by the women’s movement” (Kimmel 2008, pg.171). Pornography can allow men to overcome what is called the “street dilemma,” which is when men see girls walking down the street and knowing that they cannot see them naked or have sex with them. Kimmel mentions a website called slutbus.com, where you can watch videos of guys picking up random girls and offering them money for sex. After the girl agrees and has sex with the guys in the bus, they wave the money in her face and drive off without paying her. Websites like this along with many others solve the “street dilemma” and restore “men’s unchallenged authority” (Kimmel 2008, pg.177). Today, traditional forms of dating are pretty much nonexistent on college campuses, but now, “hooking up has become the alpha and omega of young adult romance.” (Kimmel 2008, pg.191). This culture has become so widespread on college campuses that countless young adults have difficulty transitioning to a more serious and committed relationship in their lives after college. Men are not only “delaying adulthood,” but they are “entering it misinformed and ill prepared.” (Kimmel 2008, pg.192). With this culture, young men and women are constantly evaluating each other. Kimmel made reference to an interview he had with a young man who said that while he was having sex with a girl, all he thought of was how he was going to brag about it to his friends, caring little about her inclination to keep it between the both of them. This is a classic example of how “girls live in Guyland, not the other way around. Whereas guys are permanent citizens, girls are legal aliens at best. As second class inhabitants, they are relegated to being party buddies, sex objects, or a means of access to other girls.” (Kimmel 2008, pg.245). In Guyland, a girl can either be a bitch, a babe, or a bro. Women are never equals, they are merely “prizes to be collected and conquered” (Kimmel 2008, pg.151). In conclusion, the endless cycle of fear and control from the responsibilities of adulthood is the driving force behind Guyland. The fear of not being acknowledged or accepted by others combined with the incessant struggle to put forth their masculinity is what Guyland is all about. Whether it is through sports, video games, hazing, or fighting, men are always looking for ways to prove to their peers or other guys that they are in control. Kimmel explains that the “struggles to prove masculinity in Guyland come from fears of inadequacy, incompetence, and weakness.” (Kimmel 2008, pg.278). In order to address this problem, Kimmel believes that we need to develop a “new model of masculinity” and in order to do this, young men need to realize that standing up for what is right is what constitutes a real man, not being “a passive bystander, going along with what seems to be the crowds consensus” (Kimmel 2008, pg.287).
The topics that Joe Ehrmann uses as framework for his Building Men for Others program are quite intriguing and make you really question masculinity. The first topic, rejecting false masculinity, can be interpreted a few different ways. In the book, it states: “As young boys, we’re told to be men, or to act like men” soon followed with “we’ve got all these parents say ‘be a man’ to boys that have no concept of what that means. I completely agree with the statement of Joe Ehrmann and often question the definition of ‘being a man’. Many boys and men will reject the idea of a man being anything other than being big and strong or having power.
In Kimmel’s essay “’Bros Before Hos’: The Guy Code” he argues that the influence of society on masculinity is equal to or greater than biological influences on masculinity. In the essay, Kimmel uses various surveys and interviews to validate his argument. He points to peers, coaches, and family members as the people most likely to influence the development of a man’s masculinity. When a man has his manliness questioned, he immediately makes the decision never to say or do whatever caused him to be called a wimp, or unmanly. Kimmel’s argument is somewhat effective because the readers get firsthand accounts from the interviewees but the author does not provide any statistics to support his argument.
Jackson Katz is the founder of Mentors in Violence Prevention which is an education program that has been focused on military and sporting organizations in attempts to put a halt on gender violence. Other than being an educator, Katz is also an author and filmmaker. In 2013, he produced the film Tough Guise 2. In this film, Katz reviews the normalization of male jurisdiction in America. The film looks at the messages of gun violence, sexism, and bullying that are sent to men throughout their entire life. Tough Guise 2 argues the statement that male brutality is a rooted back to our cultural standards of manhood. A pivotal point of the film is that a male’s masculinity is not just handed to them, it must be earned. During the course of the film, this point is supported by examples such as gun violence, homophobic messages and mass shootings.
For example the book in chapter 8 offers a con by talking about lack of relationships, and if guys are in relationships, they put in little effort. Guyland implies guys have as much sex as possible and watching porn reassures masculinity. I believe that’s not totally true, everyone is different and has unique way of approaching relationships. “Timid guys sometimes have a tendency to give older; more so called “popular” guys the power to define themselves, thus making their role in society greater” says Austin (pseudonym). Positively, Michael Kimmel offers a view into the minds of America 's sons, brothers, and boyfriends, and works toward redefining what it means to be a man today and tomorrow. Only by understanding this world and this life stage can we enable young men to chart their own paths, to stay true to themselves, and to travel safely through Guyland, emerging as responsible and fully formed men of integrity and
As young men grow up, they would generally learn and integrate within a box of codes which shows them how to be a man, known as the Guy Code. The Guy Code is a set of rules prevalently applied among men groups about how a man behaves with other men and his girlfriend. It mainly teaches guys to be dominant, aggressive and fearless. In Michael Kimmel’s “ Bros Before Hos: The Guy Code”, he indicates that men disguise their emotions and inner beings to be like a man, particularly among their peers. It imposes a consciousness that timidity is not a characteristic that men should have.
Manhood had not always existed; it was created through culture. Depending on the era, masculinity claimed a different meaning. But in all of its wandering definitions, it consistently contains opposition to a set of “others,” meaning racial and sexual minorities. (pp.45) One of the first definitions was the Marketplace Man, where capitalism revolved around his success in power, wealth, and status. A man devoted himself to his work and family came second. Although this is one of the first standing definitions, it still finds its spot in today’s definition, where masculinity consists of having a high paying job, an attractive young wife, and
We’re all familiar with the stereotypes and myths about what it means to “be a man.” The victorious leader gets what he wants using aggression and does not accept failure; he is smooth with the ladies, and he is often good with a gun. He is usually rich and in control, especially in control of women, like a father who loves his daughter dearly but will be damned if she’s going to go out dressed like that. The list could go on and on with the stereotypes. But the Coen Brothers’ cult-classic film, The Big Lebowsk (1998), with its hero “The Dude,” contradicts these notions of masculinity. The Coen brothers offer several familiar stereotypes of masculinity (the Vietnam vet, the successful capitalist, an oversexed bowler, some aggressive German nihilists), yet it is these characters that throughout the film are shown to be absurd, insecure, and even impotent. It is these stereotype men that the Coen brothers criticize. “Sometimes there’s a man,” says the narrator over and over again, pointing out the Dude’s non-stereotypical masculinity as the true representation of what it means to be a man. The brothers then illustrate that the men who give no thought to their identity, who ignore the pressure to conform to cultural expectations, are to be regarded as “real men.”
An article entitled “How Boys Become Men,” written by Jon Katz was originally published in January, 1993 in Glamour, a magazine for young women. This article details the process of a boy growing into a man and mainly focus on the lesson boys learn that effect their adult lives. These lessons are about how to hold back emotions and never appeared sensitive. The author includes examples of his own experiences as a boy to convey to the reader the challenges of growing into a man. Through the various stories of young boys, the author is trying to prove that the men are insensitive because they had to learn to hide their feelings during the stage of growing up with other boys. The purpose of the author is to explain the women of the world, why men appear to be emotionalist and “macho.” The author’s main idea of this article is to explain why men are insensitive and to help women understand why men sometimes seem “remote” and “uncommunicative.”
George Orwell quotes, “He wears a mask, and his face grows to fit it.” The documentary, “The Mask You Live In”, directed by Jennifer Siebel Newsom, shows different ages of males who struggle to be themselves while battling America’s limited meaning of manliness. George Orwell quotes, “He wears a mask, and his face grows to fit it.” Influenced by the media, among their age group, and the grown-ups in their lives, adolescents dissociate their emotions, disrespect women, and are aggressive. Society gender stereotypes affect young males to change to fit into the societal norm as they characterize “real” men.
For young males, pubescence is a time of proving one’s self as an adult by emulating masculine tropes found in older peers, family members, neighborhoods and in the media. The male body sees some of the most noticeable changes through puberty. As such the body becomes the main proof that young boys utilize in proving themselves as men and no longer boys. The developments in puberty are certainly influenced by culture, social setting and time. In Richard Mora’s study of how hegemonic masculinity influences the stage of pubescence for boys, he examines how the biological changes within the male body influence the socialization of ten sixth-grade Latino boys. First, Mora makes distinctions in how white working and middle class students experience puberty, which in most cases are hardly discusses with peers (189). However, Mora observes the opposite amongst the Latino boys at Romero, all of whom find many reasons to express their pride in their slowly changing bodies. Among these boys, puberty is more of a social accomplishment that comes with rewards in dominance and male peer congratulations.
In the views of Micheal Kimmel “hegemonic masculinity” is a socially constructed process where men are pressured by social norms of masculine ideals to perform behaviors of a “true man” and its influence on young male’s growth. It is the ideology that being a man with power and expressing control over women is a dominant factor of being a biological male. The structure of masculinity was developed within the 18th to 19th century, as men who owned property and provided for his family with strength related work environments was the perfect example of being a generic “American man.” Kimmel introduces Marketplace Manhood and its relation to American men. He states, “Marketplace Masculinity describes the normative definition of American masculinity.
Boys are influenced by many of their coaches in life; brothers and fathers telling them they must be tough and show no pain, teachers who expect them to work hard at everything they do, and in the back of their minds are their mothers who worry about them over extending and getting hurt. Kimmel asked a few men in their 20’s, “where do young men get these ideas” (the Guy Code), they all gave the same answers: their brothers, fathers, and coaches. One mentioned that his father would always be riding him, telling him that he must be tough to make it in this world, another said his brothers were always ragging on him, calling him a “pussy” because he didn’t want to go outside and play football with them. He just wanted to stay in and play Xbox. Yet another said that whenever he got hurt his coach would mock and make fun of him because he was showing his feelings. The world is a very competitive for men, they believe they must always prove themselves to other men. Men get pressured into doing things they don’t want to do. Men shouldn’t be pressured they should be able to do what they want to
If a man possesses the masculinity that society claims he should have, he may still experience many emotional issues within himself. After a man has been taught that domination is the key, they may develop a sense of aggression. Aggression may also follow the fact they men hold all of their feelings into to protect themselves from the schemas. Men have been seen to use violence in their past to solve their issues. In the documentary, one of the prisoners in the group session spoke about how he was in jail because all of his emotions that had been bottled up become uncontrollable in one instance. If a boy or a man does not contain the masculinity expected, he may become bullied and out-casted. The continuation of discrimination toward a boy may cause suicidal thoughts. On top of being bullied for not being a powerful man, he may still be trying to hold in his emotions to prove that he
Unlike the negative opinions about masculinity said that it is dangerous, violence and a threat to women, positive opinions people wanting to restore masculinity. “A professor of political science and philosophy at Carleton University in Ottawa, Canada” (Newell) had written an article discuss about positive things of masculinity. According to Newell that “young men need to learn a positive version of masculinity that encourages honor, pride, and respect for women.” With him, masculinity is a positive thing for men, it is honorable and respectful, therefore young men should learn it. Sadly, throughout the years, masculinity has changes a lot which made people misunderstood the actual definition of it and mislead it to violence and misogyny (Newell). Even though everyone has their own personalities, but babies are born, raise and teach by their surroundings. Due to that reason, “Newell contends that society needs to channel certain boyish traits, such as a desire to be heroic, in positive directions and teach these boys how to become honorable men.” Babies are like a clean slate, what they see is what they are going to learn, they should see and learn masculinity in positive ways of it, not the bad ways of it. To learn masculinity in positive ways, Newell states, “to do this, we must recover a sense of what it means to be manly—honorable,
Male’s naturally become responsible in keeping their peers in check with the strict expectations of masculinity. This is achieved when using such terms like “mama’s boy”, “bitch”, or “faggot”, against a male who acts in a way that is seen to be “un-masculine”. Therefore, it becomes clear that a brutal cycle does exist. Men are consumed with what a “real” man is. They truly believe this criteria is correct and feel that they have to live by it in order to be manly. This type of masculinity, which violence has a prominent role in, becomes expected of them by their peers. When a male fails to produce this behaviour it often results in him being seen as someone who is missing the necessary traits in order to be masculine. Male’s will be harassed and abused by their peers for this presumed deficiency. Thus, male’s act as though they are a regulatory authority or a gender police towards their peers to be able to keep them in check with what society demands of the male gender. Masculinity in society is structured in a way which advocates violence as a way of coping with certain situations and individuals, which ultimately leads to violence against women. The peer’s of a male makes sure that he will contribute to his masculinity by confirming the accuracy of it, and administering not another socially sanctioned way of presenting the male