Growing Up With Divorced Parents

I was raised with divorced parents. My parents separated when I was at a very young age, around four years old, so I do not recall a time where we were all one big happy family. When my parents first separated my dad only moved to the basement of our house. Then once it was finalized, he moved into a different home. I would primarily stay with my mom, and visit my dad every other weekend. However, we would still go on spring break vacations together. When I was younger I thought this was typical, and am just now realizing how weird this is. Both of my parents dated during this time, and I met a few of their boy/girlfriends. Around the age of 12 my parents “got back together”, and we all moved in together again. I believe that they “got back together” because my mother was unstable. “Getting back together” with my mom was my dad’s way of keeping the situation under control until my mom was once again stable. They bought a house together, and then when I was around the age of 16, they separated again. I then started to primarily live with my dad and had an irregular schedule

My dad was always very adamant that I would not be spanked or disciplined using physical touch. Instead he would use a stern tone of voice (you know the Dad voice). I do not remember getting in trouble very often though. My parents may have bordered on indulgent parenting because I also do not remember being told “no” very often. There is one story my mom likes to tell about when I was a toddler and threw a tantrum in the middle of the store. I apparently wanted some candy bar, but my mom had said no, so I proceed to cry out in agony (like a typical toddler). My mom let me work through my emotions while continuing her stance on not giving me the candy bar, but said she felt like the entire store was judging her for “not being a good parent”. Obviously, she was doing the correct thing, and this also tells me I was told no,