Family Genogram Case Study

After completing my family genogram, I was able to notice the history of a couple of patterns of fusion in particular. One of the relational patterns that stood out was emotional abuse which for the sake of this assignment I have only traced it back three generations, starting with my paternal grandfather Marciano, who endured the aftermath of the WWII and who conceived out of wedlock (COW) from Spanish and Mestizo parents and who married a woman Fidelina, of Chinese and Indian origin, born in El Salvador like him. Based on anecdotal accounts, Marciano was particularly emotionally abusive towards Rosa, my mother, who is also the first born of the couple and COW. Marciano had very high standards of beauty and intellect, which often triggered name calling, insults, and other forms of humiliation aimed towards my mother, causing her to feel belittled and resent his treatment towards her.
Skipping years ahead, I remember the first occurrence of emotional abuse coming from my mother, when I was in middle school and I had started changing my look and gaining some weight, my mother began humiliating me through name calling, and excessively criticizing me, in addition to swearing and yelling which she engaged in more frequently. The effects that this particular pattern of

fusion had on me, similarly to my mom, resulted in feeling depressed, anxious, having a low self-esteem, and engaging in suicidal ideation. I believe the stock that was being moved through was anger, and frustration due to unresolved emotional issues that were passed on from father to daughter and then projected on to me.
The second pattern that I believe to be significant is the controlling relationship pattern that has been passed on through two generations as of now. Interestingly enough, every member of the second generation has expressed this trait or is at least engaged in the same time of relationship (not necessarily being the controller). For instance, my Marciano, my grandfather, used to be very patriarchal oriented when his children were young. He was very controlling of his four children including their dress-code and diet (Kosher), and towards his wife Fidelina, who he didn’t allow to have a job, and was very demanding and particular about house chores and the cooking for the family.
The second generation that has displayed the commonality of marrying a controlling partner includes my mother Rosa, who continues to battle his controlling husband, my uncle Rafael who always has been controlled financially and emotionally by his younger wife and has no issue with that, my aunt Rhina who likewise does not resist being controlled by her husband due to stereotypical gender roles, and lastly my aunt Rubidia, who in an attempt to resist being controlled became the controller of her husband who in turn was not able to tolerate the abuse, and engaged in an extramarital relationship, that ultimately caused him leaving the household.
In this case I believe that the stock that is being moved through is power and the need to control. What I found particularly interesting is the fact that the controlling father taught their children to know no better than being controlled, which contrary to what I would have expected, meaning that a controlling father would create controlling children that would grow up to control their partners.
In conclusion, this assignment has inspired to me continue seeking more dysfunctional patterns within my family in an aim to become aware of how stocks circulate in families and their effects upon the fused individuals.

I can honestly do almost nothing to address these issues other than on a personal level cut myself off from the family, which I have already began to do. Because I am aware of this pattern of controlling relationships happening in my family, all I can realistically do in the present is actively try to balance the power in my current relationship, continue to communicate my feelings to my partner when I feel unfairly treated by him or when stereotypical gender roles are causing

trouble.