Failing To Practice Reflective Listening Analysis

When in a relationship, we tend to make assumptions and form expectations from our partner based on our imagined reality, our preferences, and our beliefs. We assume that we understand our significant other and that we can predict their behavior.
However, if we are unconscious in the relationship, we will remain blinded by our beliefs and won’t realize that we need to verify with our partner to see if our assumptions are correct. Unrealistic expectations can hurt us greatly once we discover our relationship is not what we expected it to be.
Our expectations are influenced by cognitive biases, mostly our first impressions. Nevertheless, it soon turns out that our partner is not just his or her first impression.
We enter a relationship to

Poor communication between the partners is what kills relationships. Sticking to our assumptions, we form an opinion believing that what we have are the facts. In reality, however, we usually form our beliefs without having all the information.
Reluctance to expose your deepest thoughts and feelings to your partner, failing to ask questions or listen to your partner creates assumptions and false beliefs that lead to unrealistic expectations, poor decision-making, and inevitably, disappointment.
Reflective listening means that you mirror back what you think your partner has said. Asking questions to clarify the understanding of a message can prevent making unrealistic expectations, forming negative beliefs, and, finally, getting hurt.
Be aware of your listening filters – do you listen to find faults or to fix what your partner says? Practice reflecting what your partner is saying acknowledging his/her feelings rather than being judgmental.
Allowing yourself and your partner to openly discuss the feelings and thoughts in an atmosphere of complete honesty is a big step towards a conscious relationship.
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