Example Of Active Parenting

My mom often tells the story of the time my Grandma said to her, “You are too strict with your children, and Margie is too lenient with hers.” My mom asked her which was better strict or lenient, and where the middle ground was. (Rasmussen) I would say autocratic parenting is strict, permissive is lenient and authoritative or active is the middle ground my mom looked for and I believe found. On the discussion board this week Rebecca Wilson presented an idea that explains “Active Parenting” (Popkin) perfectly. She said, “I heard another talk not too long ago where I learned that I need to trust my kids. They were there in the pre-existence and made the choice to follow Christ. Now I need to have faith, that given the opportunity, they will

All of my life I have been able to sleep with the lights on or off and noise or no noise. My parents bought me an alarm clock to solve this problem. The alarm had a flashing light and it beeped while playing music from the radio at the same time. This clock annoyed everyone in the family. My dad asked me to put it across the room so that I would have to get out of bed to turn it off. Without fail, it would go off for 45 minutes every morning, until my dad came in and turned it off. He would sit on the edge of my bed, rub my shoulder blades, and talk with me. I relate this situation to many of the concepts discussed in the second session of the Active Parenting Videos by Michael H. Popkin. We had to determine who owns this problem. Obviously, my behavior was affecting many people and goals were being blocked. I would say my dad was an “authoritative or active” parent (Popkin) in this situation for me. He listened as I explained to him that the alarm becomes part of my dream. He responded to my feelings of exhaustion by coming in and talking to me without yelling at me to get up and get moving. I worked two jobs in high school, plus the family wedding business. I took an AP class, maintained a GPA high enough for the Honor Roll, and dated; plus I got Mono. He looked for an alternative to becoming a yelling dictator type by calmly and

My Mom was very “Autocratic” (Popkin) about this issue. She is the youngest child of seven and every one of her siblings received awards for never missing a day of school in all twelve years. They were recognized in the town newspaper for this achievement combined with never missing a day of Sunday School. My older brother never missed a day of school from K-12. I missed one day in 4th grade when instead I went to the doctor because I insisted on staying home. My younger sisters both missed a day or two. One broke her leg but only missed about one day, the youngest was granted permission to miss school in High School for my Grandmother’s funeral. My brother left for his mission in August before school started so we got to go to the MTC to see him off; however when he left for Mexico, only my parents went to the airport to see him off (back in the days prior to the TSA when you could wait at the gate to say good-bye). My sisters and I were in school that day because my mom didn’t feel that was a valid reason to miss school. I went to school in 8th grade after throwing up in the morning. I remember feeling absolutely horrible all day and running into the bathroom at lunch to throw-up again. Clearly, missing school was not-negotiable for any reason. This issue handled in an autocratic style has had interesting effects on me. On the one hand I feel guilty when my children stay home from