Example Of A Conflict Theory Paper

Lane, Abigail, and Gooch note that “a conflict situation is determined by the people who play out particular roles, the specific context where it takes place, the particular point in time when the interchange occurs, and the expectations for behavior implied within it” (p. 152). The conflict described in this paper is between George, a fellow classmate, and me here at Trident Technical College. To full the requirements of this paper, I will use and apply the five-step process of the phase theory, “a theory which assumes that a conflict unfolds in fairly a predictable way over a period of time and progresses through recognizable stages of interaction” (p. 157).
In step one, “the prelude to conflict consists of all the circumstances that make conflict possible between those involved” (p.157). Before we

were classmates, George and I had always been cordial whenever we saw each other on campus.

We would greet and have brief conversations from time to time on campus. The setting of our conflict occurred in the 950 or the Film and Media Arts building. The evolution of this situation happened in three different classes and over a span of approximately eighteen months. “The triggering event is a behavior that at least one person in the conflict points to as the ‘beginning’ of the problem” (p. 157). I first noticed something different about him when I showed him the video of my final project. For a very talkative person, he said nothing and gave me the cold shoulder. After that, he would criticize many of my ideas in and out of the classroom. However, that was not the start of the conflict. It was during the second class that we took together. When he presented his project’s progress work to the class for a critique, I commented that he should have shot the frame minus the trash cans. It was from that point that he made it his mission to verbally attack and degrade me, whenever possible. Not to add fuel to

the fire, I chose to ignore his comments. We eventually stopped speaking to each other. Since George spent a lot of time negatively criticizing my work in class, I continuously produced better work than him. And, it was in the third class that he finally realized that he his plans would not work. As a result of that, one day, to my surprise, he asked if I was through with the printer. From my perspective, it was obvious that I was finished printing. I believe that it was his attempt to start a conversation with me. I do not remember exactly my response, but I gave a very short response and I walked away. That was the last time we spoke and he has since graduated.
If I could go back and handle this conflict situation differently with a better outcome, I would use the S-TLC Conflict Resolution System to resolve this conflict with my classmate. “S-TLC is a conflict resolution process that has four steps: Stop, Think, Listen, and Communicate” (p. 164). With knowledge of this system that is designed to resolve conflicts, I have come to the realization that I did apply the first three steps. When the verbal attacks began after hearing my comments on his progress work, I applied step one: Stop. I did not react, I simply ignored them. I have met people like this in the past. I easily could have participated with verbal attacks of my own, but that is not my style. I believe that the best solution to any problem is to prevent the problem from happening. Then I applied step two: Think. At this point, I realized that something was bothering him and I wondered why he felt the need to retaliate. I should have empathized with him by thinking of what is he really feeling in order to behave in this way. With step three: Listen, I knew that he was exhibiting behaviors of jealously and that was the basis of his criticism. Step four: Communicate is where I could have handle things differently. Although I did not acknowledge him, I should have spoken to him in a way that not dominating. We could have worked together to come to an understanding that would have been beneficial for both of us.
This is where step three of the phase theory comes in. “The initiation phase is the stage of conflict in which at least one of the person makes known to the other the presence of a felt conflict” (p. 158). George made it known that he had a problem with me. With the verbal attacks, he wanted me to feel what he was feeling. Now we were in step three of the phase theory, “the differentiation phase occurs when the participants talk to one another about the conflict, presenting both sides of the story, moving back and forth, and escalation and deescalating” (p.158). I could have pulled him aside and asked him what was the reason for saying what he was saying about me. I should have asked if I had done something wrong to him. I could have said to him that my comments about his project was simply to make it better and not to hurt his feelings. I would also have said that I did not appreciate how he behaved towards me. “The resolution phase occurs when those involved agree to some outcome to the conflict” (p. 158). During this final step of the phase theory, I could have let him know that I would be more aware of my criticism towards his work in the future and that we can go back to being cordial with each other.
“Avoiding can be physical, as in not making contact with the other person in the conflict, or communicative, as in refusing to talk about the conflict or changing the subject” (p. 155). This was the strategy that I decided to use. By avoiding him, I was not too concerned with what he was going through. To engage with him at that point would have been a distraction for me. Distractions are the enemy to the learning process. Before I became a student here at Trident Tech I made a conscious effort not to allow any distractions to interfere with my studies and I have been relatively successful in doing that.