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Parenting styles in different cultures conclusion
Parenting styles across cultures
Parenting styles in different cultures conclusion
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Raising a child properly is important to parents. In China, the biggest issue for Chinese parents is how to raise their children properly. Chinese parents believe an old saying: talented apprentices trained by strict master(s). This old saying inspires Chinese parents that a child has to be treated strictly to make sure that the child becomes a talented person. Therefore, Chinese parents treat their children strictly even though Chinese parenting methods are different. Both "Why Chinese Mother Are Superior" and "Two Kinds" have shown that Chinese parents prefer to schedule their children’s spare time. Chinese parents want their children to maximize the value of time by giving their children a lot of practice. They prepare a lot of academic and music-related exercise for their children. In the article “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior,” Amy Chua doesn’t allow her daughters watch TV and play video game and asks them to practice their instruments two or three hours per day.in addition, in “Two Kinds,” every night after dinner Mrs. Woo, the mother of Jing-mei, would give Jing-mei new tests and demands her daughter to practice piano two hours a day after the mother sees a little Chinese girl playing piano on TV. Both Amy and Woo show us that they control their children’s spare time and ask or compel their children to do something that they think that is good for their children. Both Amy Chua and Mrs. Woo have very high expectations for their children, but their expectations are different, and the results are different. They want their children to be successful. Amy Chua asks her children to be straight A students, and she forces her seven-year old daughter to play a piano piece that “is incredibly difficult for young player” (Chua... ... middle of paper ... ...the daughter refuses to practice piano, the mother shouts to her daughter “ ‘Only two kinds of daughters,’ ‘ Those who are obedient and those who follow their own mind! Only one kind of daughter can live in this house. Obedient daughter!’ ” (Tan 8). Both mothers threaten their children when their children break their rules. Chinese parents think children must obey them because they know what is best for their children. All in all, there are various Chinese parenting methods, but the common ground is that Chinese parenting is strict. Strictness is the symbol of Chinese parenting. Because of strictness, almost all of American parents think this parenting style is not good for children’s development. However, Chinese students’ ranking keeps rising in the world in reading, science, and math. Depending on that, should more parents consider using Chinese parenting method?
Like the name of this article suggests, the writer's main purpose is to persuade the audience to make them believe that Chinese mothers are indeed superior. To support her argument she uses different methods to appeal to her audience's favor: she uses statistics of researches about Chinese mothers and Western mothers opinions, opinions that are mostly about how parents should or should not do when they are raising their children. She also uses passages of her life as a Chinese mother to support her argument. Also, she points out a few characteristics of western parents that are completely opposite to how a Chinese mother raises their children, which made her argument stronger. Nevertheless, there were some fallacies in her logic. One of her main fallacies is what we call "Hasty Generalization".
Amy Chua utilizes evidence to verify that Western parenting practice is wrong and not as effective as Chinese parenting practice. In her article, Chua comments, “Chinese parents can do things that would seem unimaginable-even legally actionable-to Westerners, “Hey fatty-lose some weight.” By contrast, Western parents have to tiptoe around the issue” (Chua 54). She also gives her observation as evidence to convince Westerners treat their kid wrongly. She adds her observation in her article “Why Chinese Mothers are Superior,” “I also once heard a Western father toast his adult daughter by calling her “beautiful and incredibly competent.” She later told me that made her feel like garbage” (Chua 54). Brooks, in opposite, does not fight against to prove Chinese parenting techniques are completely wrong. However, he just want to give evidence so that Chua and Chinese, in common, understand Western parenting practices are good in some ways. In Brooks’ article, he clears, “So I’m not against the way Chua pushes her daughters” (Brooks 59). Furthermore, David Brooks writes in his article “I wish she recognized that in some important ways the school cafeteria is more intellectually demanding than the library” (Brooks
“In one study of 50 Western American mothers and 48 Chinese immigrant mothers, almost 70% of the Western mothers said either that ‘stressing academic success is not good for children’ or that ‘parents need to foster the idea that learning is fun.’ By contrast, roughly 0% of the Chinese mothers felt the same way. Instead, the vast majority of the Chinese mothers said that they believe their children can be ‘the best’ students, that ‘academic achievement reflects successful parenting,’ and that if children did not excel at school then there was ‘a problem’ and parents ‘were not doing their job.’ … Chinese parents spend approximately ten times as long every day drilling academic activities with their children. By contrast, Western kids are more likely to participate in sports teams” (Chua 5). Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua is an engulfing novel which clearly distinguishes the difference between Western style of parenting and the Chinese style of parenting. The quote stated above shows some of the statistics that we completed to write this book. The story is a breathless and emotional memoir of Amy Chua, consisting mostly her two daughters and husband. While the Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother appears to be about the battle between a parent and a child and the relationship they share, the author, Amy Chua, has actually implied that it is important for the children to start developing skills early on to benefit in the future as well as be successful in their lives.
In “Two Kinds”, the mother is constantly demanding respect from her daughter. It reminded me of when a friend of mine said, “I’m my own Chinese mother” while she was preparing for finals week. Is it culturally understood that Chinese mothers are strict? At the end of the story, the mother, very upset, demands:
One type of effect the Chinese mothers’ expectations has in their relationship with their “Americanized” daughter is negative since the mothers are unable to achieve anything. An-Mei Hsu expects her daughter to listen and obey as the young ones do in Chinese culture, but instead receives a rebellious and stubborn daughter, “‘You only have to listen to me.’ And I cried, ‘But Old Mr. Chou listens to you too.’ More than thirty years later, my mother was still trying to make me listen’” (186-187). Instead of the circumstances improving, the mother is never able to achieve anything; her forcing and pushing her daughter to the Chinese culture goes to a waste. They are both similar in this sense because both are stubborn; the daughter learns to be stubborn through American culture and wants to keep herself the way she is, whereas the mother wants to remove this teaching from American culture and does not give u...
Our mothers have played very valuable roles in making us who we are and what we have become of ourselves. They have been the shoulder we can lean on when there is no one else to turn to. They have been the ones we can count on when there is no one else. They have been the ones who love us for who we are and forgive us when no one else wouldn’t. In Amy Tan’s “Two Kinds,” the character Jing-mei experiences being raised by a mother who has overwhelming expectations for her daughter, which causes Jing-mei to struggle with who she wants to be.
The Chinese mothers, so concentrated on the cultures of their own, don't want to realize what is going on around them. They don't want to accept the fact that their daughters are growing up in a culture so different from their own. Lindo Jong, says to her daughter, Waverly- "I once sacrificed my life to keep my parents' promise. This means nothing to you because to you, promises mean nothing. A daughter can promise to come to dinner, but if she has a headache, a traffic jam, if she wants to watch a favorite movie on T.V., she no longer has a promise."(Tan 42) Ying Ying St.Clair remarks- "...because I remained quiet for so long, now my daughter does not hear me. She sits by her fancy swimming pool and hears only her Sony Walkman, her cordless phone, her big, important husband asking her why they have charcoal and no lighter fluid."(Tan 64)
Through the eyes of the daughters, we can also see the continuation of the mother's stories, how they learned to cope in America. With this, Amy Tan touches on an obscure, little discussed issue, which is the divergence of Chinese culture through American children born of Chinese immigrant parents. The Chinese-American daughters try their best to become "Americanized," at the same time, casting off their heritage while their mothers watch in dismay. For example, after the piano talent show fiasco, a quarrel breaks out between June and Suyuan. June does not have the blind obedience "to desire nothing...to eat [her] own bitterness." She says to herself, " 'I didn't have to do what my mother said anymore. I wasn't her slave. This wasn't China' " (152). Unbeknownst to June, Suyuan only hopes and wants the best for her daughter. She explains, " 'Only one kind of daughter can live in this house.
From the beginning of time, mothers and daughters have had their conflicts, tested each other’s patience, and eventually resolved their conflicts. In the story “Two Kinds,” written by Amy Tan, Jing-Mei and her mother are the typical mother-daughter duo that have their fair share of trials. Jing-Mei is an American Chinese Girl who struggles to please her mother by trying to be the “Prodigy” that her mother wishes for. Her mother has great ideas to make her daughter famous with hopes that she would become the best at everything she did. Throughout the story, the mother and daughter display distinct characteristics giving the reader insight of who they are, how they each handle conflict, and helps define how their relationship changes over time.
There are big differences in how Chinese mothers act towards their children compared to Western mothers including the expression of feelings and approval, the worth of their children, and what is best for them. Amy Chua (2011) incorporates her own personal experiences of being a Chinese mother within her article and compares that to what she witnesses in America.
At first my mother thought I could be a Chinese Shirley Temple. We'd watch Shirley's old movies on TV as though they were training films” (Tan 222). Jing-mei’s mother finally decided she would be a piano prodigy after watching a young girl play the piano on television. She hired her neighbor by the name Mr. Chong who is a retired piano teacher. He would teach Jing-mei how to play the piano in exchange for house cleaning services from her mother. Jing-Mei doesn’t want to learn the piano. Also, Mr. Chong is deaf and has very weak eyesight and can’t tell if she is playing correctly. Jing-mei is supposed to perform at a concert of what her teacher had been teaching her. Jing-mei has not learned to play the song, and does not play good at all. She thinks her mother would finally let her quit. It only encouraged her mother to keep pushing her to practice even more. Jing-mei is angry and frustrated. She has not told her mother she does not want to do this yet. She thinks that her mother is trying to turn her into something she is not. Jing-mei’s mother tells her there are only two kinds of daughters—obedient ones and ones who think for themselves, and only obedient ones can live in her house. “Then I wish I'd never been born! I wish I were dead! Like them” (Tan 228). Jing-mei vented, telling her mother she wished she was dead like her twin babies she lost back in China. Her mother is so sad she says nothing and walks
...ith Jing Mei and her mother, it is compounded by the fact that there are dual nationalities involved as well. Not only did the mother’s good intentions bring about failure and disappointment from Jing Mei, but rooted in her mother’s culture was the belief that children are to be obedient and give respect to their elders. "Only two kinds of daughters.....those who are obedient and those who follow their own mind!" (Tan1) is the comment made by her mother when Jing Mei refuses to continue with piano lessons. In the end, this story shows that not only is the mother-daughter relationship intricately complex but is made even more so with cultural and generational differences added to the mix.
Chinese families and American families have a big impact in their child’s life. Chinese families as well as American families’ value education. The reason why American families believe education is important for their kids because he or she as the “parent” is responsible for their child education. “Researchers” have understood that “parents” “involvement” with their child help their children to do better in schools and throughout their life’s. For example, it takes a village to raise a child that saying is so true because people like families, friends and the community play a big part in a child life. Consequently, American parents work, from pay check to pay check to put their children in school.
First, Chinese family and American play a big role in there and community. Chinese families as well as American families value education. The reason why American families believe education is important for their kids because he or she as the parent is responsible for their child education. ‘Researchers” have understood the “parents” involvement with their children help their children to do better in schools and throughout their lives. For example it takes a village to raise a child that saying is so true because people like families, friends and the community play a big part in a child life. This is why American parents work from pay check to pay check to put their children in school. Sometimes American families can need financial support to pay for their children education; American families also word hard to show their children to do the same. American families know at times the school districts are poor this is why most American families struggle to get a good education for their children. Chinese and American family values are different, such as education, money, and how they treat family, what is important to them in family life is similar in ways.
“Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior” is an excerpt from Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua, a Yale Law professor. In this excerpt the author explains why Chinese children tend to be more successful in life and expresses her dislike towards Western parenting. The first idea Chua explains is a list of activities her daughters are allowed to do and not do in order to focus solely on academic progress. Second, the author demonstrates the contrast in mindset between Chinese mothers and Western mothers by explaining how Chinese mothers feel differently than Western mothers in regards to academic success and learning. Furthermore, she describes how Chinese mothers can demand things from their children. Finally, they can also say