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The effects of gender on communication
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Men vs women communication styles
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Introduction
Few things can be as frustrating as trying to communicate with the opposite gender. Every day each one of us is faced with the struggle of trying to relay our thoughts across the gender gap, and Deborah Tannen attempts to explain why we have those complications with a theory called the Genderlect theory. This theory was developed to explain the fundamental differences between the methods each gender use to communicate. I have had the wonderful opportunity to spend time shadowing a PA at a local clinic and through that I gained first-hand insight into the principles of the Genderlect theory. Observing the conversation styles of men and women revealed the most, but the differences in how a female PA and male doctor communicated with their patients also spoke volumes. By analyzing the situations I observed, it becomes apparent that the Genderlects theory has clear applicable points that accurately describe male and female communicative behavior.
Description of Theory
To summarize the Genderlect theory, one must look at several broad points Tannen describes. The first of these points is the reasoning behind men and women communication. She states that women communicate to incite a connection, whereas men communicate to demonstrate status. Therefore, women tend to use conversation to build and maintain interpersonal relationships while men converse when there is an opportunity to exhibit power or establish a hierarchy. In conjunction with the reason for communication, Tannen also demonstrates the different styles that genders communicate. Women use what she describes as rapport talk. Rapport talk tends to express emotions and feelings and build bonds. On the other hand, men use report talk. Report talk can be describe...
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In conclusion, it is fairly obvious that the Genderlect theory is based on clearly observable findings. The main points described in the theory can be witnessed in analyzing the day that I spent shadowing in the clinic. The social tendencies of females could be observed in conversation and the increased average visit time was also indicative of the importance of socializing. In contrast, the more direct nature of males was also apparent in their value of details over superfluous conversation. Also, a close look into the opposing styles of Dr. Flatt and Mrs. Bryant reveals what each gender idealizes as important in communication. While close observation clearly demonstrates a fundamental difference in the manner that each gender communicates, neither style is superior and knowledge of these differences is imperative in successful cross-gender communication.
In her article “But What Do You Mean” Deborah Tannen, claims that there is a huge difference in the style of communicating between men and women. Tannen breaks these down into seven different categories; apologies, criticism, thank-yous, fighting, praise, complaints, and jokes. With each of these she compares men to women by explaining the common misconceptions that each of the genders do. The different style of communication can cause some problems at the workplace and even affect the environment. The different styles of communication has been around forever and almost becomes a “ritual”(299). Tannen is effective with mainly women and not men. She is primarily successful with women due to the fact that her tone targets women, also the organization
“Men are from Mars, women are from Venus” as the famous saying of John Gray goes. It is believed men and women are nothing alike in almost every aspect. In Deborah Tannen’s essay “Gender in the classroom: Teacher’s Classroom Strategies Should Recognize that Men and Women Use Language Differently” she focused on how men and women differ when it comes to communicating, with emphasis on how it effects to how men and women behave in the classroom.
renovating a palazzo his men found the bones of a human. When I got to
In the introduction of Deborah Tannen’s “Conversation Style: Talking on the Job”, she compares and contrasts the ways men and women communicate. This reminds me of what I tell people that are struggling in their relationships. Women and men express themselves differently. Women think, but men act. If you can’t wrap your head around this, being in a relationship with anyone is going to be hard. Yet, this is such a basic way of looking at this issue. Not only are the genders vastly different, but each person relates to the world around them in a certain way. He or she also needs to be related to in a specific way. Looking at personalities and personal histories can give a better look at the way we communicate with each other. Tannen examines
Something that has made an acceleration to several arguments is gender communication (Oluwagbemi-Jacob 225). The gender
Verbal communication is intended to deliver a specific message (Carnes, 2015). It is ideal for communicating face to face, long distance, or even using technology driven formats (Carnes, 2015). Nonverbal communication is immediate (Carnes, 2015). Through the eyes or even a soft touch, emotions can be displayed (Carnes, 2015). As it relates to men and women, there are differences in how both use verbal and non-verbal communication. Men communicate verbally to offer solutions that are goal oriented (Carnes, 2015). Women communicate verbally to show empathy and focus on relationship building (Carnes, 2015). On the other hand, women are very in tune to understanding non-verbal communication, while men tend to miss subtle signals (Carnes,
Do men and women effectively communicate in the same way, or is it just a conversation of misunderstanding? There is constantly a new interest in whether men and women converse successfully. Professor and journalist, Deborah Tannen writes, “Sex, Lies, and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” Tannen compares and contrasts all conversational styles, and explains how the expectation of dialogue affects how men and women converse. Tannen focuses on the subject of marriage and the imbalance of interest between male and female couples. The contrasting perspective however comes from, Deborah Cameron, author of, “What Language Barrier”. Cameron conveys that the stereotypes left upon male and female communication
Deborah Tannen is the author of the book You Just Don't Understand where she analyzes the different meanings of communication between men and women. Her research shows that women and men use the same words and phrases and yet can interpret and react to those same words and phrases differently. Tannen compares the two sexes to find men use their conversation as a type of competition or to preserve their independence. For example, men talk about their knowledge regarding sports, cars, women, exc. Meanwhile, women try to foster intimacy through communication. For instance, women often talk and relate on a personal level. Throughout Tannen's book she uses "cross-cultural communication" to describe the differences between the language of men and women. Tannen observed that, "For males, conversation is the way you negotiate your status in the group and keep people from pushing you around; you use talk to preserve your independence. Females, on the other hand, use conversation to negotiate closeness and intimacy; talk is the essence of intimacy, so being best friends means sitting and talking. For boys, activities, doing things together, are central. Just sitting and talking is not an essential part of friendship. They're friends with the boys they do things with" (Tannen 95).
Gender is a broad, multicultural issue (Hooks, 2000). The term has traditionally been used to understand the differences between men and women. Scharf (1995) indicated that gender should also be used to identify individual differences among men and women (as cited in Stewart and McDermott, 2004, p. 436). Benjamin (1995) however, feels that there
In the health care fields there are different genders. A patient should not be treated any differently. As a medical assistant I will treat all Genders equally and show respect to all of my patients. One scenario is if I have a patient that is a female the patient that is a male after her will get the same equal treatment. One’s gender does not define them.
Lieberman, Simma. “Differences in Male and Female Communication Styles” Simma Lieberman Associates (undated). Retrieved February 25, 2010<
...or a relationship”. In genderlects, there is no superior or inferior method of communication, but rather, men and women just communicate differently. By understanding these differences, one can reduce the amount of misunderstandings in future conversations.
Women speak a much more indistinct language. Her listener may not know specifically what she’s talking about but often times she doesn’t either. For a woman the important thing is the conversation yet for a man the important thing is the goal. “There are three major areas of gender linked
In terms of “genderlect” the language of women is mainly driven for making a relationship or connection with the person that is reading or listening to them (Lyons). Women like to, ask questions, avoid conflicts, and sometimes listen in which the reader is satisfied with the writings of the author (Lyons). Though this focus on connection is shown in writings it is also shown in public. If you notice in your classes that most women sit in front of the class than men, because they prefer to ask more questions than men do. Asking questions gives that teacher -student relationship that women seek. They try to avoid conflicts that generally go on because it can affect the relationship with their audience in a negative way. Also if you observe a conversation that goes on with two women or even a woman and a man, you will notice that the woman will “maintain eye contact, nod her head, and respond in some way” (402).
Gender is an important aspect of our social life; it comprises of power relations, the division of labour, symbolic forms and emotional relations (Connel, 2000).