Broccoli's Declaration Of Independence

Broccoli Declaration of Independence

Preamble

When in the course of human meal times, it becomes integral for people to live healthy lives, and in order to do so, they must devour nutritious sustenance. However, the growth of chain and commercialized “food” has halted the mass consumption of natural leafy-greens, therefore creating this declaration becomes necessary to represent and salvage a once healthy nation.

Declaration of Broccoli Rights

We, as broccoli, hold certain truths to be self-evident. We are equal to all foods. That our deliciousness amounts to the delicacy of our brethren: chicken, pizza, chocolate, etc.. For those truths to be secured, people serve to eat us. A sense of pleasure and happiness is experienced to both parties

They have continued to portray us in movies with children saying “yuck,” upon our arrival, followed by sickened looks.

Statements of Prior Attempts to Redress Grievances

Despite this harsh treatment, we have tried to make ourselves more desirable for human consumption. We have appealed to the higher authorities, but the humans continue to walk past us in grocery stores, forgetting that we even exist. According to the verifiable statement that, “the worst feeling is the feeling of being ignored,” we must, as necessary, bring the broccoli attention, leading us to have no other choice but to declare our edict.

Resolution of Independence

We, therefore, the mutated council representatives of the Broccoli Nation, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good broccoli of this nation, solemnly publish and declare, that the broccoli are, and of Right ought to be eaten at a constant rate not unlike our other food brethren. We demand kindly for the attention we deserve that our brothers have received. For the support of this Declaration, we, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine food providence, mutually pledge our lives, our fine taste, and our sacred flowerheads to each