Brian Franklin's 'QUAKA-HADJA'

We are all guilty of trying to impress our friends, family, and peers in exchange for their appreciation and approval. Brian Franklin, the author of “QUAKA-HADJA,” elicits this theme in his short story.Throughout the entire novel the protagonist, Lia, is yearning for the attention and appreciation of her father and a centipede. Lia continuously questions her ability to complete tasks as well as compares her skills and physical appearance to magazines. Lia struggles to appreciate and accept herself, therefore she seeks self-gratification through the validation of others.

Lia’s insecurities about her physical appearance cause her to seek approval from her father. The first few lines of the short story illustrate this by showing Lia obsessing

over her eyebrows in the mirror hoping to resemble the models. “Lia stared into the mirror, plucking her Kanekalon eyebrows beneath a pale light...she took up the magazine again to compare her work with the glossy image of the pouting women with the thin, high eyebrows. She fought back another sigh. What more she could do?” Lia is not content with her physical appearance because she does not like the way her thick eyebrows look in comparison to the thin highly arched eyebrow of the model. Her inability to replicate the model's eyebrow is the source of her frustration. Regardless of the effort and time, she invests in her appearance she never achieves her desired look. In fact, Lia indicates her dissatisfaction by stating “what more she could do?” and suggests that she would be better off plucking out all the hairs and drawing two lines instead. When plucking her eyebrows, Lia becomes alienated from her reality and loses track of time “Oh nine hundred already.” Lia invests her time plucking her eyebrows because she believes that doing so will aid her to receive appreciation from her father “So, wha’ yuh t’ink? She nudged him, smiled at him, but he didn't reply...I did reading the magz like yuh say.” Despite her efforts of following her father's suggestions, reading the magazines, and following what she is told, Lia continues to be ignored by him. Lia does not willingly choose to read the magazines, she only does so because her father tells her to. Perhaps the reason Lia invests her time in looking like the models is that she feels that if she is able to look like models then she will be acknowledged and maybe even appreciated.

Our ego craves appreciation and it will go to great lengths to find it from outside itself.

In Lia’s case, her appearance did not attract the appreciation she was yearning for. Regardless of her attempt to replicate the models, her father did not seem to notice her efforts. In Fact, he ignored her altogether. Lia, still seeking for her father's approval, attempts to grab his attention by making him something to eat. Lia’s father does not approve of her using the stove and warns her several times to stay clear of it “Keep from the oil and fire, you hear me!” When she would ask him why he would reply with “Still half a women.” Attempting to negate her father's conjecture she decides to cook him “hot food” which according to the magazines, are far better than the cold meals she is used to preparing him. In her defense, she believes that if she cooks her father a nice hot meal, then he would appreciate her effort and applaud her for her skills in the kitchen. Unfortunately, because Lia was not accustomed to using the stove she ended up burning herself. This obstacle, however, did not discourage Lia from finishing the hot meal for her father. She was determined to cook something “...bigger, more filling, tastier. Something he couldn't resist” that she was willing to harm herself in the process. Even after all Lias effort, her father continues to ignore her. This causes her to question her worth. Why wasn’t she worthy of the love and appreciation of her father is that she did all that he wanted her to do. Lia places the blame on herself and decides that “she needed to look prettier, that was all. Her arms were to fat. The dark knots in her brown skin unsightly. He’d always say so. None of the women in the magazines had these things.” Lias self-esteem was already low from the beginning of the short story. She did not feel as beautiful and notable as the models in the magazines. Her father ignoring her, and neglecting her efforts re-enforces her feelings of incompetence.

The only way she is capable of suppressing these feelings is by striving harder and investing more of her time to reach the “idealistic” image shown in the magazines. Lia, striving to achieve this unrealistic image, invests more time and effort in her appearance only to be disappointed. This becomes a conventional cycle that she is unable to break free from.

When we do not feel appreciated in a job or in a relationship, we begin to seek new jobs or new relationships where we can feel more appreciated. Despite Lias effort to impress her father, he does not seem to acknowledge or care. After being turned down several times by her father, she notices that her efforts are not being completely ignored. When she places a piece of the corned-beef-on-biscuit by a crack on the floor she notices that a centipede peers out, and forces the meat into his hidden mouth. This excites Lia because she finally feels appreciated by someone. She even says that “Maybe he was finally growing to like her…” She starts a conversation with the centipede asking him how he is and whether he enjoyed the meals she prepared. The centipede enjoying her food made her feel good about herself like she did serve a purpose and was in fact needed “She felt less depressed…” The fact that the centipede appreciates her presence causes Lia to “...[lure] the centipede…[and leave] a few forkfuls of the Spam by his hole.” When someone offers appreciation, like the centipede did for Lias food, it reminds her that what she is doing is meaningful. Lia knowing that she has affected somebody in some small way which adds meaning to her life. It makes her feel positive about herself and thus raises her self-esteem.

As humans, living a meaningful life means that the work we do and the services we provide are being acknowledged and appreciated by others. The essence of being human means that we belong to a community. What separates humans from all other species is our ability to communicate and spread ideas with those around us. However, when we feel neglected and unappreciated feelings of incompetence arise forcing us to alter our physical appearance in order to be socially compatible with others. This becomes problematic because the individual falls into a cyclical pattern of attempting to conform to an idealistic image that is both impractical and unrealistic.