An Analysis Of Joyce Carol Oates Where Are You Going? Where Have You Been?

”Where Are You Going? Where Have You Been?” is a short story written by Joyce Carol Oates, which explores the life of a teenage girl named Connie. One of the issues this story divulges is the various stresses of adolescence. Connie, like so many others, is pressured to conform according to different social pressures, which displays the lack of respect female adolescents face. The music culture, young men, and family infringe upon young female minds to persuade them to look or act in certain ways, showing a disrespect for these girls. While some perhaps intend their influence for good, when put into practice, the outcome often has a negative effect. Moreover, this can lead young women to confusion and a lack of self-respect, which proves

even more dangerous.
The music culture Connie is exposed to during this time of maturity influences her mentality and thought process. Music is everywhere in Connie’s daily experience from when she goes with her friends to town and the drive-in restaurant, to on the radio at home, to on a stranger’s car radio. The ideas of what relationships should be like and about boys are engrained in Connie’s mind through the music. Tunes and lyrics get stuck in her head and she becomes comfortable with ideas conveyed through the music. As stated in the story, Connie is often “… thinking, dreaming, about the boys she met. But all the boys fell back and dissolved into a single face that was not even a face, but an idea, a feeling, mixed up with the urgent insistent pounding of the music…” (Oates 423). Being given false ideas of these realities, she idealizes relationships and boys. The music culture deceives the naive mind of an adolescent and directs her thoughts about young men and romance and how she should respond to them.
The young men in the story also direct her thoughts and self-respect. Eddie and Arnold
and other boys value Connie based upon her external beauty and their preferences for physical appearance.

Being sexualized by the boys around her, Connie is self-conscious and finds her worth in beauty. The story even states, “She knew she was pretty and that was everything” (Oates 422). She is concerned about her appearance and what others think of her because she has been taught that she lacks any value outside of physical beauty norms. Arnold Friend, even tells Connie, “...be sweet like you can because what else is there for a girl like you but to be sweet and pretty and give in?” (Oates 432). Between this coaxing and the consistent message about the importance of beauty, Connie is nearly forced to conform to this mentality, which displays the lack of respect for young females as human beings. This in turn leads women to self-degradation as they are consistently viewed as sexual

objects.
Connie also faces social pressure to conform from her own family. Her mother and aunts expect her to be mature, stop daydreaming, and be more like her older sister June, which is demanding and possibly degrading for a young teenager. Being ignored by her father adds nothing to Connie’s self-worth. At this tender age, she is exploring her identity, but “Connie had to here her (June) praised all the time by her mother and her mother’s sisters. June did this, June did that… and Connie couldn’t do a thing, her mind was filled with trashy daydreams” (Oates 422). These pressures layer more stress and confuse her as she seeks out her identity. Even as s he is about to verge on the age of independence, she is not treated with the respect that would help and encourage her to mature, but instead with a harsh, demanding pressure to do as she is told and be who others want her to be.
Most of this pressure comes from Connie’s own mother, who is constantly nagging Connie about her clothes, her hair, and almost anything she does, leading to arguments and frustration.

While her mother may intend this pressure for good, to help her daughter mature into a wonderful woman, her mother’s method’s generate nothing but negative attitudes within the mother-daughter relationship. After a study conducted at Tel-Hai Academic College, this was concluded: “The current research findings emphasize the importance of the mother-daughter relationship and the mother’s emotional support in forging a positive body image. They also show that the girl’s perception of her body image significantly affects her sense of wellbeing” (Walter 555). Connie’s mother provides no emotional support and degrades Connie’s prettiness, which would lead to negative effects on Connie. All of the reproach Connie faces induces exasperation leading her to wish, “her mother was dead and she herself was dead and it was all over” (Oates 422). The pressure Connie faces to conform to her mother’s will adds to her internal conflict and further demonstrates the lack of respect she

faces.
All of these social pressures from the culture, young men, and family combined, set Connie on a path to confusion and fear. No one treats her with respect; therefore, she does not know how to treat herself with respect or how to be herself. In order to conform, “everything about her had two sides to it, one for home and one for anywhere that was not home” (Oates 422). This flip-flopping of characters exhibits her fear and uncertainty. Pushed by various forces in her life, Connie is confused as to who she is suppose to be. As a young woman, she receives no respect from anyone, including herself, which makes her even more vulnerable. Social pressures infringe on tender, adolescent minds, demanding they conform and give in. This is detrimental to young females, as seen in Connie’s experiences, as their developing identity is ripped away and forced into different boxes, and they are told to change and pay no attention to who they know themselves to be.