Beginnin Beginning High School Analysis

The very beginning of my academic career started in elementary school. The very basis of education, setting the foundation for who I was as a learner. Though elementary is a distant memory, the lessons have impacted me still. I was told that I was smart and above my level. During then, I was actively involved in numerous sports and competitions. This made for quite the shock during the transition to middle school. My academic life changed dramatically in the following months. Insecurities I buried begun to show. The feeling of being unworthy, persistently comparing myself to others. My accomplishments were undermined by the notion that there was someone better. Yet, this was only middle school, a pivotal point in development. My grades began to fall abruptly. Previous achievements seemed meaningless in comparison. It felt like I was silently drowning underneath the schoolwork and the feeling of inadequacy.

Beginning high school intensified my feelings of self-doubt with the idea that I was incapable of enduring academically.

My grades plummeted lower than ever. The guise that I disregarded school crushed me. I had all my self-worth into what I thought was unchangeable: my grades and mental health. Though it felt like things had spiraled downwards, part of me believed there was hope. This prompted me to begin putting effort into my work like previously. There was a time when frustration prevented my learning. I remember a moment in the fourth grade where I had been brought to tears because I could not grasp long division. But I learned, eventually. It took time and perseverance, but I finally understood. Academically, this accomplishment is insignificant now, but it proves something about my character. That even in a seeming defeat, determination persists. Instead of striving for grades, my goals were improving

myself.
I found consolation in self-expression. Doing something as inconsequential as reading my poetry in front of a class or presenting a painting to a room of sixty may have seemed minor. However, this had propelled my confidence to a new territory. When I started doing what I would have thought unimaginable is when I started to believe in myself. There was solace in it, helping me cope with the doubtful feelings.
I began to tirelessly work beginning my sophomore year. Admittedly, it started rough, but I had grown. Instead of surrendering, I would prevail. There were times that had set me back. An instance was meetings with our counselors. He asked where I would like to go to school and academic goals. He said my goals were unrealistic, needing reconsideration. This signified a need for a change in my grades, and I would have to put in the work to prove that I can achieve a goal that I have wanted for a lifetime.
This brings me to where I am now. Grade wise, I am doing better than I ever have. I had gone from a "C" average to graduating with honors. So, this begs the question, "what changed?" From the beginning of my academic career to nearing the next chapter, a lot. This was never entirely about my grades, but what they represented. I used to be afraid of failure that I never tried. This experience began with feelings of worthlessness and is coming to a close at the highest point of my academics. Starting by presenting art to an audience, proving to my self-worth was not determined by grades. Personal growth has got me where I am today, taking my past doubt and creating opportunities, proving my ability to be dynamic and guiding my future.