Assisted Conflict

Conflict such as that occurred in case one is not expected among friends. With the understanding there are distinct levels to friendships, but according to definition friendships are two individuals who share common interest and bond with mutual affection. Conflicts are inevitable but are expected to be handle in a different manner especially between friends. However, conflict can be viewed as an opportunity and motivation for change (Barsky, 2014). And change is what is need in this situation with an ex roommate taking advantage of the kindness of former roommates living environment.
The friends’ view of the conflict would be more geared negative however with the true intentions of relief. Negative perspective because of how mismanaged it

occurred, the yelling and screaming resulting with a friend crying would never be a positive site to witness but I’m certain after the ex-roommate cleared it there a sense of relief in the air mixed with remorse on how the events happened. Evidently, the conflict was mismanaged if the conflict resulted with one party in tears, as Barsky writes “the manner in which we deal with conflict determines whether it is constructive or destructive”, which is true and displayed in this case study. If the roommate did not have all the ‘pent up anger’ and instead held a discussion or open dialogue with others affected regarding how to approach this situation in constructive manner, the ex-roommate would not be hurt or in tears. Likewise, violence could be a potential with all the ‘pent up anger’ however improbable. The mismanaged concept refers to the lack of coming together and approaching the situation as a group; brainstorming ideas as to how to prohibit or limit this ex-roommate of simply doing as she pleases without their permission. In addition, the usage of I statements would be applicable, the purpose of I statements is to speak persuasively and assertively, without coming across combative or presumptuous. Using I statements explains your thoughts and feeling to let others know where you are coming from (Barsky, 2014). For example
“I feel we should create boundaries…” or “I believe the problem resulted from…”.
Piggybacking off, of I statements this would contribute to the process of converting this mismanaged conflict into a productive one.

The few suggestive tips for conflict resolution and management are based on communication fundamentals which are listening, questioning, and making statements. First, negotiation can occur since this conflict does include interactions between two parties – ex-roommate and current roommates, where both parties intentional gather together to discuss resolving a specific dispute. Negotiation presents opportunities for creative problem solving, deeper understanding and reduced tensions (Barsky, 2014) which is needed especially for this situation. Second, mediation which is assisted negotiation, the minor difference between negotiation and assisted negotiation is resolving the conflict including another trusted party to help discuss the issue. Settlement-focused, a specific approach of mediation that fits the circumstances and contribute to converting mismanaged to productive by focusing on how to terminate conflict by bringing the parties to an agreement in efficient manner. Third, a facilitator would be a final suggestion which is similar to assisted negotiation however a group facilitator is specifically for group communication with the techniques to help groups think together, discuss difficult issues, and make critical decisions (Barsky, 2014). Altogether, suggestions to convert mismanaged to productive all correlate with end goal of conflict

resolution – resolve or end conflict.
Case Study #2
Conflict style refers to one’s preferred response or natural inclination when faced with conflict. Based on the response of the coach the type of conflict that occurred is competition as expected since sports related. The coach may have favorites or preferred players to ensure winning which is the intentions of competitive conflict – always winning and securing the bag. Coach being an individual with low concern for the needs of others, in this case the player, but high on concern for their own needs, personal success is important, and amicable relations with others are not (Barsky, 2014). Since this occurred in front the team, I would expect the teams’ reactions mixed. Those who are unaware they are favored would find it insignificant and overlook whereas others who may understand his perspective will silently agree. Altogether, those who are highly favored can simply persuade the team to dismiss the conflict the teammate is claiming. Team players tend to follow those with more success rate or adoration because the players desire the same status therefore this player and others are easily influenced or motivated to work harder to reach the same status.
As a coach, that was completely unacceptable, inappropriate and unfair as well as not expected. Just as players look up to the big stars of the team they rely on coaches to discipline, train and words of encouragement not disempowerment especially in front of others. Based on the setting, this could result in anger and jealousy of the other players who are included in plays. Keep noted, humans tend to have immediate reaction from emotions and actions taken place during can be irrational, especially among males (not indicating only males play sports), tension and heat could be built up and a fight break out in the locker room. Overtly, with violence being a possibility this reflects on how mismanaged the situation was handled. To begin with, the player approached the coach with such a personal question in front of others, with this being said, coach should have offered to discuss in a private area such as the coach’s office, after practice, or step aside, but not in front of others where listening ears are tuned in and this player could be ridiculed later on, which is another variable for violent outbreak. Secondly, suggesting a player to quit is another mismanaged concept because in the perspective of the player being a mentee or student and coach being mentor or teacher – when is quitting ever an option or suggested? Third, the unapologetic attitude was disgusting and unnecessary.
With the red flags highlighted, both player and coach could convert this conflict into a productive one.

Beginning with the player, we do not compare ourselves to others. That is a principle applicable to all areas in life; comparing our journey to others does not nor ever will help. Instead of the comparison or simple observation, asking the players who are always included, questions regarding how would be more helpful or even insight of the players relationship with coach. Likewise, to avoidance of comparison, as a player, patience is a virtue. For all we know, maybe during practice the coach watches you and determined you needed a little more time to sharpen up on certain skills. Switching over to the coach, if approached with personal matter it is best for your response to be a postpone or discuss in private matter. When sensitive or private topics are discussed in public anyone can take the information and run with it. The coach now has placed his player in a position of vulnerability and being mocked. If the same words were to be said in undisclosed area, this would be a considerable opportunity to introduce an interest-based negotiation. This form of negotiation offers win-win solutions with the framework of focusing on interests, options for mutual gain, improve communication, build a positive relationship and obtain commitments – the perfect fitting formula for the conflict to be productive. The conflict should be revolving around the coach and players interests

which are concerns and desires of the basketball team, not changing positions; options are possible solutions or outcomes of the conflict resolution process, the coach and player can come to the agreement of allowing the player to be included in games certain amount of time and go from there; to be effective, coach must not only listen but ensure that the player is listening and understanding him, demonstrating you are a reasonable person; this negotiation is not simply to solve a particular problem but to improve interactions which is benefical between the coach and player; and finally after agreements have been established it would be ideal to commitment to one another to ensure implementation of decisions follow through (e.g. you can play for 3-5 minutes each quarter, can simply be an agreement negotiated with the intentions of never occurring), parties tend to be more committed to their solutions because they have agreed to terms (Barsky, 2014). To summarize, there have been faults identified with both parities however after resolving conflicts we can learn from our mistakes.
Conclusion
Both cases had varying circumstances to result with conflicts. In the same fashion, reviewing and evaluating the cases certain situations are inevitable or hard to prohibit when trying to avoid hurting others, this is where it begins. Avoidance of approaching the conflict because we are unequipped with the appropriate and compatible techniques or mechanisms, however avoidance does not result in resolution just adding more fuel to the fire. Again, conflict can be destructive or constructive depending on how we deal with it as well as being viewed as an opportunity and motivation for change. Sometimes we win and sometimes we learn.