Analysis Of Becoming Members Of Society

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Recommended: Reflections on understanding gender identity

Men are physically stronger while women are more emotionally aware, people acknowledge the differences between the sexes, but who can say that one is better than the other? They balance each other out. The short essay “ Becoming Members of Society: Learning the Social Meanings of Gender”, by Aaron H. Devor, depicts how gender identity begins at a very young age, Children grow to understand which specific gender grouping they belong to. Society plays a big role in the definitions of masculinity and femininity since children will pick up on the values of the settings around them. Because Masculine and feminine characteristics are usually believed to be opposites of each other, while females were trying to reach equality by showing they can do anything a man does, they gave males the biggest compliment of mimicking. The other essay “ Bros Before Hos: the guy code” by Michael Kimmel, Michael explains the problematic of social constructions of Masculinity and the unconscious behavior men tend to follow. The behavior is called the “Guy Code”, which has been instilled into them by family, peers, and the media from a very young age. The purpose is to relate this code to why young men act and feel …show more content…

Michael states this is flawed in modern society. To be a man is to be tough and to show no fear, this is what most fathers teach their sons and it has been going on for decade 's. this kind of masochism is everywhere. the "Guy Code" Michael talks about are the values, qualities, and the attitude that defines a man. If men see that another man is not as masculine as they are, they start humiliate them just because they don’t act as tough as them. it could be seen when Eminem was being questioned on his interview, ""(466) this fear of others will see them as weak, unmanly, frightened is the reason why men in society today become depressed and violent because they try so hard in proving

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    Aaron H. Devor argues in his essay “Becoming Members of Society: Learning the Social Meanings of Gender” the gender roles casted by society help shape the definition of gender and that society’s norms aren’t necessarily correct. In America, the two traditional categories for gender are male and female (109). He claims that gender is taught through their culture’s social definitions of gender; children see themselves in terms they have learned from the people around them (110). To support this claim, he introduces the “I”, “me” and “self”; the “I” forms a self-image to oneself as distinctive while the “me” allows one to fit into social norms (111). Together, they form the “self” that allows one to oversee and remove any behavior that is unacceptable

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    Boys are influenced by many of their coaches in life; brothers and fathers telling them they must be tough and show no pain, teachers who expect them to work hard at everything they do, and in the back of their minds are their mothers who worry about them over extending and getting hurt. Kimmel asked a few men in their 20’s, “where do young men get these ideas” (the Guy Code), they all gave the same answers: their brothers, fathers, and coaches. One mentioned that his father would always be riding him, telling him that he must be tough to make it in this world, another said his brothers were always ragging on him, calling him a “pussy” because he didn’t want to go outside and play football with them. He just wanted to stay in and play Xbox. Yet another said that whenever he got hurt his coach would mock and make fun of him because he was showing his feelings. The world is a very competitive for men, they believe they must always prove themselves to other men. Men get pressured into doing things they don’t want to do. Men shouldn’t be pressured they should be able to do what they want to

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    Whether this be through morals, choices, beliefs, or personality. Holloway argues that it is through toxic/abrupt masculinity that boys are constantly caught in the crossfires between fight or flight. Masculinity becomes toxic when it becomes obsessive and disruptive. When society gets to the point where they cannot even focus or be themselves because of the fact that the only thing they care about is being the perfect man. The idea of striving to become this perfect man is an example of flight in society. Men are being forced to attempt to fit into these ideals and “prove, and re prove that they are men” in order to avoid the feeling of not fitting in with the rest of the group (Holloway). Holloway continues to discuss how throughout their lives men are constantly seen as emotionally tougher which causes them to grow up believing that if they show emotions they are weaker and are not allowed to be a part of the pack. Therefore instead of fighting this ideal and deciding to stand up for who they are, it is easier to conform and attempt to fit in because if they show discontent then they are shown as weak and unable to handle the “social constructions of masculinity” forcing them to become a social pariah and damage their spiritual

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    In Kimmel’s essay “’Bros Before Hos’: The Guy Code” he argues that the influence of society on masculinity is equal to or greater than biological influences on masculinity. In the essay, Kimmel uses various surveys and interviews to validate his argument. He points to peers, coaches, and family members as the people most likely to influence the development of a man’s masculinity. When a man has his manliness questioned, he immediately makes the decision never to say or do whatever caused him to be called a wimp, or unmanly. Kimmel’s argument is somewhat effective because the readers get firsthand accounts from the interviewees but the author does not provide any statistics to support his argument.

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  • Analysis Of Becoming Members Of Society: Learning The Social Meanings Of Gender

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    Aaron Devor’s essay “Becoming Members of Society: Learning the Social Meanings of Gender” describes how despite popular belief, gender and sex are not directly related and how social norms affect individual’s choice of gender. Devor‘s main argument is that gender is not determined by genitalia, but instead by the individual's own choices. Michael Kimmel’s essay “Masculinity as Homophobia” claims that gender equality is a positive thing for males and that social norms force men to act a certain way. Kimmel’s main argument is that men are always having to protect their masculinity in order to prevent themselves from appearing weak. Both authors present compelling arguments for both gender equality and for how social norms influence individuals’ gender choice. However, the two authors approach the same topic in different ways. Kimmel takes a more laid-back approach to the topic by using simple words and a conversational tone that relates to the casual gender sociologist. Devor writes a more sophisticated essay using complex terms and a more formal tone that relates to the serious sociologist that research gender studies.

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    Particular behaviour and traits are attached with a specified gender. Due to this, the social learning and classification founded on gender are swiftly imbibed into by an individual. Children become aware of the distinction between male and female and definite social responsibility that each gender has to perform in society (Blakemore & hill 2008 , and Goffman 1977 ). Women are often viewed as tender and subtle and men are regarded as more competent to bear pain and rough and tough. Therefore, women are considered as weaker sex. In relationship, the women are the end and men are supposed to be follower or chaser. Women are physically weak and smaller compared to men and physical strength is vested with male realm (Goffman 1977

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  • Gender Role Behaviors In Devor's Becoming Members Of Society

    1342 Words  | 3 Pages

    The idea that teenage boys should act a certain way towards females is usually instilled in them at a young age. According to Devor, “ Femininity must be expressed through modes of… action which communicate weakness, dependency, ineffectualness, availability for sexual or emotional service, and sensitivity to the needs of others” (Devor 6-7). In other words, men have to place women on a lower pedestal because of a woman’s so called “needs” (Devor 6). The “needs” that women express are feminine characteristics. The characteristics of females listed by Devor, does not show any sign of power or dominance. Since society believes gender is a patriarchy, females have no influence and need attention. This shows that men adjust their actions around women, since they believe that women need special attention. Furthermore, if a male possesses anything non-masculine,

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  • Gender Blur Summary

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    Both Deborah Blum’s The Gender Blur: Where Does Biology End and Society Take Over? and Aaron Devor’s “Gender Role Behaviors and Attitudes” challenges the concept of how gender behavior is socially constructed. Blum resides on the idea that gender behavior is developed mainly through adolescence and societal expectations of a gender. Based on reference from personal experiences to back her argument up, Blum explains that each individual develops their expected traits as they grow up, while she also claims that genes and testosterones also play a role into establishing the differentiation of gender behavior. Whereas, Devor focuses mainly on the idea that gender behavior is portrayed mainly among two different categories: masculinity and femininity,

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    An article entitled “How Boys Become Men,” written by Jon Katz was originally published in January, 1993 in Glamour, a magazine for young women. This article details the process of a boy growing into a man and mainly focus on the lesson boys learn that effect their adult lives. These lessons are about how to hold back emotions and never appeared sensitive. The author includes examples of his own experiences as a boy to convey to the reader the challenges of growing into a man. Through the various stories of young boys, the author is trying to prove that the men are insensitive because they had to learn to hide their feelings during the stage of growing up with other boys. The purpose of the author is to explain the women of the world, why men appear to be emotionalist and “macho.” The author’s main idea of this article is to explain why men are insensitive and to help women understand why men sometimes seem “remote” and “uncommunicative.”

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    We may be personally responsible for our own misconceptions of gender and masculinity. Our actions about these topics speak louder than words. Sociologist, Ann Oakley argues that parents often mold their children around certain behaviors, with positive and negative consequences, to adhere to the standards that are socially acceptable. Oddly there is a strong back lash to this sort of treatment in females. In a study done conducted by Michael Messner, when asked who was a tomboy and who was a sissy as children, women raised their hands more often to identify with the tomboy image. The tomboy trait celebrates masculinity and restricts femininity. Often children explore many traits about themselves, as Allen explained to Pascoe, “When you’re younger…you’re a kid. You are wide open…You just do what you want” (Pascoe 118). Darnell, a football player, stated “Since you were little boys you’ve been told, ‘hey don’t be a little faggot’” (p 55). Darnell showcasing that males are conditioned very early like females about their roles of masculinity. These children are taught about how masculinity works. In the school Pascoe researched, a faculty member, Mr. Ford, reminded males students through his reply to a backhanded comment made to him from another student that men should engage in sexual actives with women, not men. Another...

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    Masculinity and femininity are two terms, which have been interpreted differently throughout history. Both the males and the females have responsibilities and duties but these duties differ based on one’s gender. Gender has played a prodigious role in the economy, politics, and the society. Everyone starts making interpretations of the strengths and weaknesses based on one’s gender. These interpretations are not always based on his or her ability but is usually based on his or her gender. Males tend to be judged as extremely strong and unfashionable in terms of appearance. Whereas, females are judged as expensive and very fashionable. Males and females both differ in their abilities and their enjoyments. Fashion, entertainment, and strength are three topics, which are used to define masculinity and femininity in the 21st century.

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  • A Reflection Of The Interaction Between Self And Society

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    Before taking this class, my understanding between each individual and the whole society is that every individuals as the gear are connected together to become a society like a machine. That is, human beings build the society. However, the class gave me bigger view of the relationship between the people and the society. Discussing about the relationship between me and the broader social world is based on how all human beings and the broader social world effect together. Thus, I am going to show my understanding from the class and reading about the interaction between each individual and the whole society.

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