Kali Holloway's 'Masculinity Is Killing Men'

When do we finally say enough is enough? When do we finally say stop letting us be killed? When do we finally say, as men, to let us be who we want? Men in society have been faced with the idea that we are not strong enough, tough enough, attractive enough, brave enough, or good enough. Society has placed a stigmatism on men that we are the ones who must shove our emotions down and not bring up the emotions that are killing us. We must be fit, wealthy, loyal, strong, tall, and attracted to girls if we want to be successful. We must follow the natural order; not ask questions. Not delve into what we want to delve into and we must never ever talk about sexuality. Girls can experiment. Guys are faggots. But what if, we said enough is enough?

Whether this be through morals, choices, beliefs, or personality. Holloway argues that it is through toxic/abrupt masculinity that boys are constantly caught in the crossfires between fight or flight. Masculinity becomes toxic when it becomes obsessive and disruptive. When society gets to the point where they cannot even focus or be themselves because of the fact that the only thing they care about is being the perfect man. The idea of striving to become this perfect man is an example of flight in society. Men are being forced to attempt to fit into these ideals and “prove, and re prove that they are men” in order to avoid the feeling of not fitting in with the rest of the group (Holloway). Holloway continues to discuss how throughout their lives men are constantly seen as emotionally tougher which causes them to grow up believing that if they show emotions they are weaker and are not allowed to be a part of the pack. Therefore instead of fighting this ideal and deciding to stand up for who they are, it is easier to conform and attempt to fit in because if they show discontent then they are shown as weak and unable to handle the “social constructions of masculinity” forcing them to become a social pariah and damage their spiritual