Final Essay
We live in a world that runs off the idea of gender constructions. Every aspect of our lives is affected in some way by the roles society believes that a certain sex should behave. Growing up, I did not fit into the “normal” gender categories that women are believed they should be in. I did not realize that many of the things I did and the ways I dressed were not associated with the “feminine” gender of a young girl. Ever since I can remember I have been a tomboy, who loved sports and dirt bikes a lot more than barbies and princesses, but at such a young age it seemed normal to me. The older I grew the more I realized that these things were not what the majority of young girls liked, and that was when I first began to learn the differences between the gender constructions for both men and women.
It is safe to say that I spent the majority of my childhood with my father, he was and still is my best friend. He played a key role in shaping who I am today, which is directly why I am not the typical “girly girl” that our culture believes girls should be. I spent my weekends in a male-dominant environment, usually at dirt bike events or riding in the mountains. The amount of girls there was always slim, so I learned to act more like a boy would than a girl. Contrary to the gentle, feeble characteristics that girls are supposed to possess, I was the complete opposite. Valenti states that, “Femininity is weak, vulnerable and artificial” (64). In these regards I could not be categorized as feminine. I loved playing with the boys in the mud and I was nearly fearless as a child. Usually as Valenti says, “Little girls are always attracted to strong women and girl characters,” (174). In my case, I never once wanted to play with b...
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...would enjoy being with the guys more than the stereotypical sorority girl. As long as I can remember, nearly all my friends have be male. This has also influenced my decisions in life.
Overall, every aspect of my life growing up, being my parenting and the activities I partook in, shaped the gender constructions I fell under. More dominantly, although, it caused me to reject the typical characteristics that women are expected to possess. My masculine upbringing caused me to become labeled a “tomboy,” which was perfectly fine with me. It was not until nearly the end of my middle school days that pop culture and media components began to have any effect on my life. This oblivion I grew up in shaped me into what gender constructions would see as a masculine girl more than a feminine girl, and I continue to carry these characteristics in life with me even to this day.
Why it is like that? Children don’t have social roles, they are just being who they are. And the most awful part is that they must lost the very important part of their individuality. It happens during the process of growing up, when they are being forced and compelled to adopt social norms. It might go smooth or becomes a struggle, but it’s inevitable. Our essence is uncomplete, it’s stocked up with numerous gender stereotypes and gender scripts. But if we strip off all the build-up of these stereotypes, we left to be miserable and lonely human being. Dar Williams song is a nice illustration hoe society slowly but surely imposed its gender rules in our lives. We receive feedbacks and instructions from literally everything. But we not just the receivers. We are active learners and teachers in gender school. We ourselves constantly give feedback and instructions to others. Thus, gender becomes interactive process. It emphasise West and Zimmerman, when they speak about gender accountability, “If sex category is omnirelevant (or even approaches being so), then a person engaged in virtually any activity may be held accountable for performance of that activity as a woman or a man” (West, Zimmerman “Doing Gender”, 1987, p. 136). It seems that every our move becomes gender accountable, and all of us are sharing this duty to maintain each other gender. To the certain extend, it becomes obligation for every individual to keep gender binary active, and we all doing so by
... drives. There are boys in the mountain villages of the Dominican Republic that lack testosterone and “are usually raised as ‘conditional’ girls” (681). Once these boys reach puberty, “the family shifts the child over from daughter to son. The dresses are thrown out. He begins to wear male clothes and starts dating girls” (681). These boys, also known as “guevedoces,” show biological features that produce in later stages of life rather than birth which determines gender role. My female cousin, who was raised by a single father, grew up acting and playing like a boy. She was very aggressive when she was younger but as she grew older, society and human nature has changed her. She is not only influenced by our culture to act in a feminine, lady-like way, but she is now an adult that wants to have a family and become a mother in order to produce off-springs and survive.
From the day they are born, parents play a huge role in socializing gender by giving their children toys to play with based on their gender. Boys are expected to like and play with toys such as trucks, cars, trains, and gross things like bugs and mud. Girls are expected to like anything pink, dolls, kitchen sets, and playing tea party with their dolls and stuffed animals. It is acceptable for girls to occasionally play with toys meant for boys but not vise versa. As they grow into their teenage years they are taught to like more things based on one’s gender. Kevin Macdonald writes, “boys like guns, boxing, wrestling and karate, team sports, and fixing things. Girls prefer dolls, sewing, cooking, dancing, and looking after younger children.” In their teenage years girls are not really suppose to like boy things and if they do they are seen as a tomboy. Through time though it has become more acceptable for girls to like a few guy things such as sports. As they become adults their expectations on what they like stays pretty much the same as teenage years. Men like things such as sports, cars, outdoor activities like hunting and fishing, and work. Women are expected to like things such as fashion (makeup, nails, clothes, shoes, etc.), cooking or baking, and doing
It is widely accepted that masculine is synonymous with male and feminine with female. While it is typical for males to enjoy typically masculine activities, it is seen negatively when males enjoy a typically feminine activity. Not only is it seen as a bad thing, but young boys are often bullied or even punished for liking something that is seen as feminine. Girls are also often shunned for liking anything associated with masculine hobbies, usually having to prove that they “are not like like other girls”, insinuating that even girls who happen to like feminine activities are not to be sought after in this particular social system. Doctor Vanessa Cullins from Planned Parenthood talks about how children learn from a young age how they are supposed to fit into our social system and how damaging that can be during adolescence while the children try to create their own identity. I chose this topic because I think that we, as a society, do not think into this issue too deeply and yet it persists in our everyday lives.
In our current culture, there is a huge difference between what is considered to be for girls or boys. From birth, children are told what colors and styles of clothing they wear, what toys they should play with, and how they should act. Often, girls are told they cannot play with toys considered to be for boys and boys are told they are not allowed to play with toys considered to be for girls. Children who do decide they want to play with the toys not traditionally for their gender are often scolded by family members, pushing the children back to their gender-specific toys. Gender socialization starts at birth and continues from adolescence, to adulthood, causing specific and detrimental differences
Author and feminist Alix Kates Shulman said once: “Sexism goes so deep that at first it’s hard to see, you think it’s just reality” (McEneany). That quote sums up perfectly the way our society runs. There is no class teaching children how to act according the their gender. Yet little boys and little girls learn at a very young age what is expected of them. They get ideas about their gender roles from their parents, their school teachers and subconsciously from the toys they play with and the television shows they watch.
There are a variety of perspectives which are used in Gendered Worlds to examine gender. First, the androcentric perspective views male as being the moral norm. Creating this standard creates a society in which women are seen as deviant since in theory women do not fit the standard. Examples of this would be using words such as “mankind” or using “he” when talking about both females and males (Aulette, Wittner, p. 60). Another example would be using male-oriented words such as “guys” when referring to a classroom full of diverse students. Another perspective is gender polarization which refers to the way that diverse aspects of the human experience are linked to sex differences. Men are supposed to be withdrawn, unemotional, and dominating, while women are supposed to be emotionally submissive and irrational. Certain traits are imposed upon individuals because of their specific sex. If society had decided that pink was a color that was for males and blue for females then that would be the new social norm, and that would be the new characteristics of gender. An alternative viewpoint of gender would be essentialism which views gender as a fixed biological or psychological trait that does not vary among individuals over time. However, a female might start adopting behaviors that are considered masculine such as having short hair or walking with hands in the pockets to avoid the harassment she might encounter on the streets. This female would be doing gender according to
I was born on March 08, 1995 at roughly seven pounds. When I was extracted from my mother, I was given the gender of a male with the appearance of my male body parts. My mother used to say to me, growing up as a toddler that I had so much hair like former American Football player, Troy Polamalu. People had always assumed that I was a girl, therefore my mother had to correct them and say, “No, he is a boy”. Growing up a toddler, I was always wearing some type of jeans with a sports shirt and shoes that were mostly colored black or blue. As I grew older, I gained interest in baseball, wrestling, and the military. I always wanted to play with action figures such as GI Joe and wrestling celebrities in addition to imaginary flying in an apache helicopter or taking command in a battle tank. Advancing to my pre-teen years, I wanted to play baseball, which is considered to be mostly a boy sport. It was at this moment, that my gender was a boy. Progressing to my teen years, I started to observe my father and learn my gender on his roles as the man in our family. I noticed that my father was already taking charge in the house and giving me orders that I needed to complete. Going through middle school, most boys had some type of sports backpack while the girls
My gender was impressed upon me from the minute I was born as I was wrapped in a fuzzy pink blanket and had a bow taped to my bald head. Gender refers to our behavior, feelings, and attitudes as dictated by our society or culture (Defining, 2015). Not only our family, but our peers, schools, and society influence and shape our beliefs and views about our gender (Defining, 2015). It is thought that our gender is socially constructed as our notion of what women and men are and what they are supposed to be is created by the society in which we live (Gender, 2010). As a female born and raised in Philadelphia in the United States in the 1960’s, my gender role, behaviors and attitudes expected of male and female members of a society by that society, was that of a passive, nurturing, and subordinate person.
Gender roles are unavoidable at any stage of your life. They are taught to you by parents, conveyed in the media, practiced and honored in organizations and supported by our government. No matter how many feminist groups attempt to bring the two sets of gender roles for males and females together, there will always be the unwritten expectations that males and females are taught. Boys will always play with guns and girls will always play with dolls. As long as this occurs, the ambitions for boys and girls will be directly related to the stereotypical form we are taught. It is up to the families, media and peers to use the gender roles appropriately.
It isn’t hard for me to think back to my gendered socialization, strictly because me being a man has been drilled into my head since the day that I was born. I was born on January 6th 1985 in a suburb of Olathe Kansas, and in Olathe high school sports are everything. I have pictures of me when I was five months old with cowboy outfits, and football uniforms. As I became old enough to walk, I was thrown into every sport possible. I played football, baseball, soccer, and basketball.
Aaron H. Devor talks about how society places the idea of masculinity and femininity in the minds of men and women, making them everything but genetically tailored. Moreover, Devor states that no man or woman is born to fulfill a certain role, but cultural influences lead to such actions. He believes that society presents gender as “binary or permanent”, meaning that there is no room to identify with anything outside of one’s gender group. Just like race, things are taken from external attributes, as young children we assume that based on outer appearance a male would look one way and a female another way. Women who cut their hair short were considered manly and unwilling to follow ‘normal’ behavior; men who wore their hair long were considered sissies and too feminine to call themselves men. These interactions and opinions are formed from a very young age; according to Devor children acquire gender roles and begin making statements that show a separation between a boy and a girl by the wee age of 5. Gender roles are widely applied all over the world; many people are unable to grow out of old ways due to what they were taught, and then they continue to teach to their kids those same things. Some families are very unaware when they say something like, “you can be whatever you want, but you just can’t…” It happens and it is becoming an ironic phenomenon as time goes
From the youngest age I can remember, everything I had seen in the media, altered my perception on gender - what it was, what it meant, and what society saw as fit. Gender has often been confused with having to do with biology, when in fact, gender is a social construct. In today’s society, gender has mixed up the construction of masculinity and femininity. This plays an important role in many individuals lives because they define themselves through gender over other identities such as sexual, ethnic, or social class. Identity is shaped by everyday communications, such as what we see through the media, therefore as society continues to evolve, so does the way we perceive identities and select our own.
In elementary school one of the most common phrase used was, “You can’t do that you're a girl.” Society puts gender stereotypes and expectations on children at a very young age. I never really understood these stereotypes and expectations until later in my life. I couldn’t figure out why it was that boys were not allowed to like the color pink, and if the girls wanted to play “boy” sports it was seen as unusual. My family consists of my parents, my sister and I; so I never had sibling of the opposite gender in my life. I didn’t have someone to compare gender differences with. I was given toys no matter what gender they were geared towards. I remember receiving hot wheels cars and baby dolls the same year for Christmas and never thought anything thing of it. I think that these experiences has really shaped who I am today.
We are born with a sex but are given the choice of gender and how we choose to express ourselves. Gender roles teach us what is adequate behavior for men and women. Outside forces such as family, media and society itself try to make us conform to set gender roles. We live in a world where it is becoming more acceptable to be who you truly are and break the mold you were given upon birth. It’s comforting to know the world is changing for the better so people can express themselves