My socialization while growing up had everything to do with my parents. In my household I didn’t have just one certain style of parenting. My mother was a permissive parent, and my father was very much an authoritative dad. This was able to happen because my father travels a lot of the time and is out of the house, therefore giving me the chance take advantage of my mom being so much of a push over. When my father was gone on business I could get away with anything such as not cleaning my room, staying up as late as I wanted, and receiving anything I wanted. If my Mom did not giving in to my requests I would just throw a simple temper tantrum and five minutes later victory would be mine. On the other hand when my dad was around everything was to be done his way. If he didn’t think I needed it, I did not get it, no matter how much complaining and whining. In my Dads mind I had to deserve everything I received, if I did something wrong couple days earlier he would remind me about it as I was asking for a bike or what ever else it is I wanted. Don’t get me wrong my dad wasn’t a mean guy or an abusive father, I knew my limits and when every I would get dumb enough to cross that line, he was right there to put back in my place.
It isn’t hard for me to think back to my gendered socialization, strictly because me being a man was drilled into my head since the day that I was born. I was born on January 6th 1985 in a suburb of Olathe Kansas, and In Olathe high school sports are everything. I have pictures of me when I was five months old with cowboy outfits, and football uniforms. As I became old enough to walk I was thrown into every sport possible. I played football, baseball, soccer, and basketball. I had practice year round sometimes everyday, and no matter how much complaining I did I was at every practice everyday. My father wanted me to be the best at everything I did; therefore I spent many nights after practice practicing with him. When I was that young I enjoyed every second of practice with my father. Being the best was so deeply instilled in me that anytime I failed it was a catastrophe to me. For example in baseball I would probably only strike out three to four times a season, which is great looking back now, but when I did strike out I became irate. I would be kicked out of those three or fo...
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...ang around them but they were way to boring for me. Now days I have a new group of friends, but homophily still takes place. They are my friends in my fraternity. We are all almost exactly alike, some may say too much alike and we have no diversity, but that’s the way we like it. We all like to go have a good time, and stay on the edge of breaking the law without falling over. I guess propinquity can be a role also because many of my fraternity brothers I met living in the dorms with them. I think that both homophily and propinquity plays roles in everyone’s relationships with others because when you see someone often you get to know each other whether you’re alike or not, and of course you’re going to get along with someone who has the same interest as you.
As I write this paper I realize that all of these questions I was asked to answer all go back to the way I was raised. My anger with sports likely was cause by my dad longing for me to be great. Me homophily with all of the football players was a product of my parents making me do all of the sports. All in all I had a great upbringing and I wouldn’t change one thing.
Growing up, two group of people, parents, and grandparents, took the time and the energy to raise me. Both of them had different approaches when raising me. These approaches were different parenting styles. According to Baumrind, parenting style was the “[capturing] normal variations in parents’ attempts to control and socialize their children” (Darling, 1999). To put it simply, parenting style goal was to lecture, influence, and discipline a child. In general, there are four parenting styles with their own specific benefits and disadvantages. Furthermore, parenting style, granted the dynamic of the family was understood, can be identified in families.
Girls are told to stay indoors and play with their dolls or bake, while boys are encouraged to go outdoors, get dirty, and be adventurous. Wade and Ferree also state “sports are squarely on the masculine side of the gender binary” (Wade and Ferree, 174). Hence, we are brought up with the understanding that playing and talking about sports is a boy’s thing, which further promotes the notion that sports are a very masculine thing. Furthermore, as playing sports is competitive and is a way to show excellence, young boys are considered as “real boys” and “real men” later on. However, when boys do not talk about or play sports, they are considered feminine or “not real men.” The same rule applies for young girls. If young girls are too into sports, they are considered to be “too masculine.” This is true for me too. When I was younger, I was told to not play too much outdoors and to behave “like a girl.” The stigma that only boys should be allowed to play sports and it is not a feminine thing needs to be erased for us to welcome a more gender-equal
Being a man in society comes with a lot of advantages but it also has a lot of disadvantages. Men are expected to not show their emotions and be tough all the time even when they are really hurt. Personally, I am a guy that shows how I feel and sometimes I get a lot of negative feedback for it. We are also all expected to be strong and physically fit and a lot of men aren’t. When I was in junior high I was not in good shape or strong and I was picked on quite a bit for it especially because of my size. There are advantages of being a male in society like being chose first for jobs like doctors, lawyers, and dentists. We also have the advantage of being able to play whatever sport we like because we are seen as more physically capable then
Children learn the differences between men and women’s roles in society from a young age. It is not something that is biologically instilled; rather it is something it is taught by observing the roles each gender partakes in their respected fields. When it comes to employment, children distinguish jobs like nurses and teachers are usually for women and firefighters or presidents are for men (Jacobs 2008). This may because they see members in their family holding these positions or being taught in school that certain genders usually hold certain positions. The same is true for children and associating gender roles in sports. Men usually become basketball, football, or soccer players. Women are not the first gender children think about when it comes to being athletic in competitive sports. Boys start to understand what masculinity is because of participating in sports and do not want to be called “fag” or “sissy” (Douglas Hartman 2008). They may kick the ball around with a male family figure, like a father, who instructs and criticizes...
Education is a potent institution used to reinforce gender differences. In our reading we found that children are much more likely to separate themselves at school in gender categories than in their neighborhoods. As Barrie Thorne points out in her book Gender Play, “Apart from age, of all the social categories of the students, gender was the most formally, and informally, highlighted in the course of each school day” (pg 34). I feel that many experiences in elementary school have reinforced my gender outlook. I spent much of my time in elementary school racing the boys and biting my nails to show I wasn’t scared to “break a nail” and never wearing a dress. Recess was a fight for me half the time. I didn’t like the connotation of being called a “girl.” Now I realize that I was trying to oppose the gender role I was expected to perform, yet eventually I grew out of that “phase” of fighting against the norm and joined the ranks of the girls. I moved from the field, to the bars and jump rope. I see now that the change I went through was just giving in to the reinforcement around me to be feminine. Instead of fighting against the grain, I chose the easy road by...
The greatest influence on my life has been my family. Thirty-eight family members over four generations have graduated from Cal, fourteen as athletes, with two in Cal’s Hall of Fame. I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life when I was little, and that desire never changed. My athletic identity started to form at a very young age due to my family’s strong influence and their athletic connections. According to Mead, young children form their initial self-image based on engagement with their significant others. I grew up with athletic parents and grandparents, two older brothers and all guy cousins. With a very close-knit family, living only 5 to 10 minutes away from each other door to door, all I did when I was young was go to sporting events. From these individuals, “we learn the basic knowledge of our society, and we internalize this knowledge as a coherent set of expectations, feelings and attitudes” (O’brien,...
I was born on March 08, 1995 at roughly seven pounds. When I was extracted from my mother, I was given the gender of a male with the appearance of my male body parts. My mother used to say to me, growing up as a toddler that I had so much hair like former American Football player, Troy Polamalu. People had always assumed that I was a girl, therefore my mother had to correct them and say, “No, he is a boy”. Growing up a toddler, I was always wearing some type of jeans with a sports shirt and shoes that were mostly colored black or blue. As I grew older, I gained interest in baseball, wrestling, and the military. I always wanted to play with action figures such as GI Joe and wrestling celebrities in addition to imaginary flying in an apache helicopter or taking command in a battle tank. Advancing to my pre-teen years, I wanted to play baseball, which is considered to be mostly a boy sport. It was at this moment, that my gender was a boy. Progressing to my teen years, I started to observe my father and learn my gender on his roles as the man in our family. I noticed that my father was already taking charge in the house and giving me orders that I needed to complete. Going through middle school, most boys had some type of sports backpack while the girls
For some reason, out of me and all my siblings I felt responsible for taking care of my dad. I constantly felt pressure to try and stop the fighting between my father and other family member as much as I could. To do this I would always hover around my father trying to make sure he wasn’t experiencing difficulty executing a task. If I show any sign of him struggling I would step in, pretending I want to help with the task but in reality, I just didn’t want him to get mad. A prime example of this is whenever he cooked dinner, he would always struggle to bend over to reach the pots or pans, I would always be in the next room half-heartedly working on homework while the other part of me was panicky. I remember my heart would always start to race and I wouldn’t be able to focus anymore on my homework because of the fear of him becoming aggravated. At the first sign of trouble I would hop up from my living room seat hoping I could stop him from fighting with anyone in my family. I would run into the kitchen pretending to be an overly excited child asking if he wanted help cooking, know It wasn’t a want but a need. My dad always excepted and I would quickly take over the responsibility of cook even though I hated It. He would always try to praise me after saying what a good helpful daughter I was but instead of the excitement that most children got getting the praise I would get angry thinking I shouldn’t have to help you with this
My socialization started from before my birth. My parents knew that I would be born female and, therefore, bought me pink clothes and other “girl” items. I was born into a lower-middle-class family with both of my parents working a factory job. I spent a lot of my infancy with my grandmother who would watch me when my parents worked. When my parents came home, they would shower me with affection and nurture my needs the best that they could. I would be fed, bathed, and everything that is needed to keep a baby clean and happy. My parents would make sure that I was cared for.
There were several instances in my childhood when my Family had a direct influence on me according to my gender. Right from birth my role as an individual was predestined. The gifts I was to receive at a baby shower were all based around my gender. It would have been unheard of for someone to give me pink clothes or flowery decorations at my baby shower. Young boys have always been told not to cry when they fall and scrape their knees. Comments like these from family members definitely had an impact on my aspirations. My dream to be a fire fighter was most likely related to those comments to not cry. Being a fire fighter would definitely be an occupation where stress would be high. If I could be a fire fighter I would definitely have the opportunity to prove to my parents that I could be strong and not cry. The media was also a factor that had a large impact on my childhood ambitions. Television is a great example of this. In almost all Television shows the gender roles are very prominent. Things such as male characters being strong or in positions of authority are prevalent. Even th...
Beliefs are specific ideas that people hold to be true. In other words, values are abstract and standards of goodness, and beliefs are particular matters that people accept as true or false.Values are the general concept around which a society organizes itself and creates social beliefs. Social beliefs are also called norms. Norms are expectations for behavior that emerge from our values. Our values come from our parents, relatives, friends, teachers and other influences. Deviance is the recognized violation of cultural norms. It is always a matter of difference. Deviance emerges in everyday life as we encounter people whose appearance or behavior differs from what we consider “normal”. A belief that have had an effect on my life was religion.
I grew up having more than the average kid. My parents bought me nice clothes, stereos, Nintendo games, mostly everything I needed and wanted. They supported me in everything I did. At that point in my life I was very involved with figure skating. I never cared how much of our money it took, or how much of my parents' time it occupied, all I thought about was the shiny new ice skates and frilly outfits I wanted. Along with my involvement in soccer, the two sports took most of my parents' time, and a good portion of their money. Growing up with such luxuries I began to take things for granted. I expected things, rather than being thankful for what I had and disregarded my parent's wishes, thinking only of myself. Apparently my parents recognized my behavior and began limiting my privileges. When I didn't get what I wanted I got upset and mad at my parents somehow blaming them for all my problems. Now don't get me wrong, I wasn't a bad kid, I just didn't know how else to act. I had never been exposed to anything less than what I had and didn't realize how good I had it.
There are many ways in which society can influence an individual. An individual can be influenced by the news, family, and friends. However an individual does not think much about how their gender has influenced their life. Gender socialization can be defined as the “process by which individuals are taught how to socially behave in accordance with their assigned gender, which is assigned at birth based on their biological sex” (Boundless, 2015). This is a process that begins from the moment that an individual’s life starts. As a child, each gender is treated differently. Girls are given dolls and are expected to stay clean when playing outside. Boys are given toy cars and are allowed to get dirty when playing outside (Sanderson, 2008). Gender
We may be personally responsible for our own misconceptions of gender and masculinity. Our actions about these topics speak louder than words. Sociologist, Ann Oakley argues that parents often mold their children around certain behaviors, with positive and negative consequences, to adhere to the standards that are socially acceptable. Oddly there is a strong back lash to this sort of treatment in females. In a study done conducted by Michael Messner, when asked who was a tomboy and who was a sissy as children, women raised their hands more often to identify with the tomboy image. The tomboy trait celebrates masculinity and restricts femininity. Often children explore many traits about themselves, as Allen explained to Pascoe, “When you’re younger…you’re a kid. You are wide open…You just do what you want” (Pascoe 118). Darnell, a football player, stated “Since you were little boys you’ve been told, ‘hey don’t be a little faggot’” (p 55). Darnell showcasing that males are conditioned very early like females about their roles of masculinity. These children are taught about how masculinity works. In the school Pascoe researched, a faculty member, Mr. Ford, reminded males students through his reply to a backhanded comment made to him from another student that men should engage in sexual actives with women, not men. Another...
Now we all have expectations of what the roles of each gender are. We all have an idea in our head about what the “real American man” is. He should boast a confidence that he is the main competitor. He can probably accomplish any task almost entirely on his own, and always does it better than anyone else. A male child is raised to aspire to have these qualities, therefore striving to display them in almost everything they do. Almost every “boy activity” revolves around some type of competition, always one versus the other. This ranges from recreational sports, like soccer and football, to silly games boy play on their own, like cops and robbers. Growing up in a highly competitive environment leads to standard characteristics we say amongst adolescents to young men.