What I Learned Toward Myself

One thing that I want to do in my life is that I want to learn how to be kinder toward myself. Although I can easily do so for others, I struggle to love and support myself. I am extremely harsh and critical toward myself; all positive feelings I have toward myself tend to be temporary reactions to successes. Negative feelings not only tend to be the default, but also, when in reaction to shortcomings or downfalls, tend to be detrimentally enduring.
Selfishness and conceit are negative, unhealthy attributes with obvious detriments on society. Notoriously conceited leaders tend to fail to consider the needs of their people and will sacrifice the well-being of their people and country for glory and increased power. Similarly, in tragedies, characters tend to be brought down by their tragic flaw, or hamartia; this hamartia is often pride or an overinflated ego. The harms of too much love of oneself have been thoroughly discussed

throughout the ages; however, the harms of too little love for oneself have tended to be ignored. Despite the lack of attention brought to it, a lack of compassion toward oneself is similarly as unhealthy and detrimental, even if the effects tend to be more localized on a personal level and can sometimes be confined entirely to the individual.
I have a lack of compassion for myself.

The manner in which I view myself is the antithesis to the manner in which I view the rest of the world. Regarding other people, I am quick to forgive, willing to provide aid, and passionate about helping improve current situations. I comprehend that all people naturally have flaws, and I take no issue with this; however, I take issue for every flaw with myself. I struggle to forgive myself for simple mistakes, and it takes me a great deal of time to move on from my own personal downfalls. I constantly regret actions, and often resent myself for simply being myself. I support the individuality in others, but with regards to my own, I have a tremendous sense of guilt. All of this prevents me from truly being happy with myself unless I am accomplishing something, which is an issue. There is a severe cognitive dissonance between how I view others and how I view myself, and I hope to amend that cognitive dissonance, and by doing so, create for myself a sense of peace and satisfaction with who I

am.
One of my biggest flaws is the ease with which I see flaws within myself and the ease with which I am blinded by those flaws from any positivity. I know that it’s unhealthy, and I hope that one day, I can improve my way of thinking and my way of viewing myself.