Wanning Creative Writing

782 Words2 Pages

WARNING: This piece contains a very shocking revelation. Side effects may include: itching, drowsiness, tired feeling, nausea, denouncement of religion, toothache, mild bruising, uncontrollable and lengthy muscle spasms, or severe gangrene. Ask your doctor if this memoir is right for you, which it probably is not. Batteries not included. Contrary to popular belief, rocks are not soft. As I found out for myself, they are actually quite hard, and, like the sheer number of quandaries that plague human civilization, no amount of soft padding can change this fact. The day was warm and full of sunshine on Launiupoko Beach Park on the island of Maui (BREAKING NEWS!). The waves made the water bob up and down like the people in it; there was some …show more content…

I am absolutely terrible at judging distance by vision alone, but I would have guessed that I was out about 500 feet from the shore. At the aforementioned shore, there were many small, round boulders, each about four to six feet in diameter, lining a concrete buffer wall. If one were to walk across the ocean and traverse the boulders and scale the wall, then not only would they be the next incarnation of Jesus for walking on water, but they would also find themselves on a scenic, seaside …show more content…

And, as if the same deity wanted to see how I would react, I caught the wave and started surfing. Granted, I don’t recall standing up, but I was still riding on a surfboard, straddling a wave! “OH MY UNSPECIFIC AND NON-DENOMINATIONAL DEITY, I AM SURFING,” I merrily thought to myself. “Now how do I stop this thing?” I asked myself that question as my uncle’s board, as well as my face, made a beeline towards the rocks. I frantically searched for the brakes, only to realize that surfboards don’t have brakes. The rocks drew closer, and closer, and closer still. To say that I panicked would be an understatement, for I considered both myself and the board. Turning was out of the question, as the only direction was forward. The volume of the roaring wave behind me did not help, as it only served to both push me into oblivion and drown out my thoughts. I had no choice but to brace for impact, and brace I

More about Wanning Creative Writing

Open Document