In her book Arranged Marriage, Chitra Divakaruni repeatedly uses several themes to convey her abhorrence of the institution that is arranged marriages. The short stories she wrote were all full of misery and suffering. The four stories that show-case her distain toward this idea of mandatory monogamy are “The Bats”, “Clothes”, “The Maid Servant’s Story”, and “The Disappearance”. The three predominate themes in these four tales of tragedy are abuse, both physical and psychological, a lack of respect for women, and tragic endings. The four stories showcase these negative results of and show Chitra Divakaruni’s animosity toward arranged marriage.
The first story, “The Bats”, immediately shows one of the negative effects of arranged marriages and
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In “The Bats”, “The Maid Servant’s Story”, and “The Disappearance” the wives were given little to no respect by their husbands and families. In “The Bats” the mother was abused by her husband, a clear sign that he did not respect her. He also lied to her in his letter when he promised not to abuse her anymore but did after she returned. In “The Maid Servant’s Story” there was disrespect of both Sarala and the wife. Sarala’s husband and mother disrespected her by forcing her into prostitution. The husband showed a severe lack of respect for both his wife and Sarala when he tried to have sex with Sarala after his wife is sent to the hospital after she fell ill. His infidelity shows his lack of respect for his wife and his promise to be loyal to her. The husband’s refusal to stop when Sarala begged for him to stop and his justification that “once a whore, always a whore” (144) shows how little he thought of her a person. In “The Disappearance” the husband raped his wife and justified it by saying she was “… a well-bred Indian girl” (172) and that she should submit to him whenever he wants sex. He also did not respect her enough to allow her to wear the American clothes she wanted, let her go back to college or let her get a job. He claimed he was just being firm, a lie he told himself to cover his guilt. He was in denial of his disrespectful behavior. The women of in Arranged Marriage were usually not treated with respect by their families and husbands. This problem of disrespect is just a single aspect of the negative nature of arranged marriages. The three predominate themes in Arranged Marriage, abuse, tragic endings, and a lack of respect, illustrate how toxic the environment formed through arranged marriages can be. Divakaruni uses these themes in the short stories in Arranged Marriage to show how a marriage that is not formed
Both Stephanie Coontz in “Great expectations” and Archena Bhalla in “My home, my world” address the issue about marriage and arranged marriages. While Stephanie mostly speaks on couples don’t make marriage their top priority and don’t last for a long time. And she gives an example by saying that “People nowadays don’t respect the marriage vowels.” She also believes that in the 18th and 19th centuries, conventional wisdom among middle-class men was the kind of woman you’d want for a wife was incapable of sexual passion which has changed in the 20th century. Also that marriage was viewed in the prospective that work relationship in which passion took second place to practicality and intimacy never was important with male. Bhalla speaks
All the way through Migdim's incident with arranged marriages, we can understand the old customs that has to do with marriage. It is obvious that, although women were believed to be obedient, they were capable to effectively convince men. Yet, today there seems to be a sign toward polygamous marriages that are eventu...
Epstein, Robert, Mayuri Pandit, and Mansi Thakar. "How Love Emerges In Arranged Marriages: Two Cross-Cultural Studies." Journal Of Comparative Family Studies 44.3 (2013): 341-360. Academic Search Complete. Web. 31 Mar. 2014
Jhumpa Lahiri, the author of the story, “The Third and Final Continent,” grew up being aware of conflicting expectations from two different countries. As Jhumpa mentioned, “I was expected to be Indian by Indians and Americans by Americans (Lahiri, pg 50).” The Third and Final Continent leaves the reader with a positive notion of the immigrant experience in America. The narrator recalls his school days in London, rooming with other foreign Bengalis, and trying to settle in this new world. He talks about how when he was 36 years old when his own marriage was arranged and he first flew to Calcutta, to attend his wedding. This statement is unique because it depicts the differences between an American culture and an Indian culture. At the time of marriage he is 36 years old and he didn’t pick who he wanted to get married to. Marriage in India is something that most parents set compared to other countries where they can marry someone of choice. Indians settle down by an arranged marriage ma...
The article begins by introducing general knowledge about arranged marriages in India. First is the proof of commonality. Arranged marriages are so customary that marriages not arranged
In the article Arranging a Marriage in India, Serena Nanda, a professor of Anthropology at John Jay College of Criminal Justice, writes about what she learned about arranged marriages in India from interviewing informants and participating in arranging a marriage herself. Nanda brought in some American biases about how marriage and love are “supposed” to work. She initially had trouble accepting why someone would want or let another arrange their marriage instead of seeking a partner themselves. Nanda’s difficulty understanding arranged marriages, is a result of having grown up in a culture that leaves such decisions to the individual. Furthermore, if the quotes given in the article are an indication, Nanda let her biases influence her conduct
“There is no perfect relationship. The idea that there is gets us into so much trouble.”-Maggie Reyes. Kate Chopin reacts to this certain idea that relationships in a marriage during the late 1800’s were a prison for women. Through the main protagonist of her story, Mrs. Mallard, the audience clearly exemplifies with what feelings she had during the process of her husbands assumed death. Chopin demonstrates in “The Story of an Hour” the oppression that women faced in marriage through the understandings of: forbidden joy of independence, the inherent burdens of marriage between men and women and how these two points help the audience to further understand the norms of this time.
Arranged marriages is main process to find women in Hindu culture. 90% of marriage are done by arrange in this culture (Kapoor). Web. Arranged marriage is the main way for marriage in Nepali culture. Marriage is an important social bond between families. When a child reaches marriageable age, the family elders are responsible for finding a suitable mate of the appropriate caste, education level, and social match. The bride’s family provides usually a dowry to the groom’s family what they demand. But nowadays it’s not necessary. A dowry is illegal in this culture these days. The cost of a wedding is really expensive mostly to the bride’s family. In the past days arranged marriage was really hard for brides and grooms in this culture. The reason was they didn’t know each other and the interesting thing was they never even saw each other’s face until the marriage date. Hindu castes do not generally approve of cross-cousin (out of a caste) marriage, which is preferred among some Mongolian ethnic groups. Among some groups, a bride’s price substitutes for a dowry. In others, clan exogamy (choosing partner outside of one’s clan) is an important feature of marriages. Until recently, it was common to marry more than one women, but now it is illegal and found only in the older generation and in remote areas.
When it comes to the topic of marriage, different cultures have different customs. Some of these customs have changed over the years and some have stayed the same. One type of marriage that interests me is arranged marriage and why there are arranged marriages still going on today. That is why I have chosen to write about them in this paper and discuss why they were/are an important staple in certain cultures.
The story I have chosen for my assignment is `Everything's Arranged' by Siew Yue Killingley. It is about arranged marriages practised by the Indian communities.The story is centered around Rukumani, a young maiden from the Ceylonese Tamil community whose family has settled in Malaya. Probably her father or grandfather was brought to this land by the British those days. Though Rukumani, is sent to study in the university (`MU' as stated in the story ), the thinking of her parents is just like how it was back in their motherland, Sri Lanka. The Ceylonese, however educated, still hold to their tradition, beliefs and family values so adamantly. Education failed to change their thinking. Social life is a taboo for their young sons what more for a daughter.
Nanda, S. (1998). Arranging a Marriage in India. In P. DeVita (Ed.), Stumbling toward truth: Anthropologists at work (pp. 196-204). Illinois, U.S: Waveland Press.
Each marriage comes with a different perspective and story, whether it is an arranged marriage or love marriage. Arranged and Love marriages are very similar yet different. Love is the pure feeling of attachment. Arrange marriage is like a blind date in hopes to find love. It could be love at first sight or love after a while so in somewhat way they end up being a love marriage after all because the end result is the same as they get married or find love. In this essay there will be comparison done on love marriage and arrange marriage. Each country has a different perspective on each type of marriage. I will be comparing both marriages in America and India. Love Marriages come with a responsibility of their
Almost every culture around the world have the idea of bringing together households in marriage. In the United States, this a coupling of two people who will start a life on their own. In India, a marriage is more than two people falling and love and getting married. Family, religion and casts play a role for the future bride and groom. The Indian culture’s weddings have different traditions when it comes to proposals, ring traditions and ceremonies not only for the couple but for the families as well.
The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy tells the story of the communist state of Kerala and the forbidden love between two castes, which changes the lives of everyone. In the novel an ‘Untouchable’, Velutha is a carpenter and works at Paradise Pickles and Preserves for much less than he deserves because of his status as an Untouchable in the caste system. Velutha falls into a forbidden love with a divorced woman, Ammu who is associated with an upper caste Syrian Christian Ipe family. Marriage was the only way that Ammu could have escaped this life, but she lost the chance when marrying the wrong man, as he was an alcoholic and this resulted in them getting a divorce. Ammu breaks the laws that state ‘who should be loved, and how and how much’, as their affair threatens the ‘caste system’ in India, which is a hierarchal structure and social practice in India in which your position in society is determined and can’t be changed. Arhundati Roy portrays the theme of forbidden love within the caste systems and shows how they are t...
In this short story the protagonist is a newly married Indian woman who is attending a party with her husband’s western friends. Throughout the short story the reader senses her anxiety of being introduced to people who are not as conservative as her. “She longed for the sanctuary of the walled home from which marriage had promised an adventurous escape. Each restricting rule became a guiding stone marking a safe path through unknown dangers” ("The First Party"). In this quote, the narrator explains how the Indian woman did not feel comfortable or at ease with this new world she had been introduced too. She fiend to be back home but because of her tie that she made to this man through marriage she is in her mind, stuck with him. In addition to her anxiety of being with non-conservative woman, who drank, smoked, dressed provocatively, and had painted nails, the protagonist grew angry in her own head. “She had been so sure of herself in her contempt and her anger, confident of the righteousness of her beliefs, deep-based on generations-old foundations” ("The First Party"). Is this the way that the Indian people reacted to British colonialism? The things that western people found normal, was this disrespectful to the Indian people. The protagonist surely thought it was and was certain that her anger was not misplaced. She felt as her anger was a sign of her strong faith. She came to the realization that her husband was someone who would challenge her beliefs but above all she knew that her beliefs state that her life must be one with his (“The First Party”). This realization must be heartbreaking, to realize that one 's comfort is not found in their life partner. The protagonist was raised to believe that her life must be one with her husband, that she is