In the article Arranging a Marriage in India, Serena Nanda, a professor of Anthropology at John Jay College of Criminal Justice, writes about what she learned about arranged marriages in India from interviewing informants and participating in arranging a marriage herself. Nanda brought in some American biases about how marriage and love are “supposed” to work. She initially had trouble accepting why someone would want or let another arrange their marriage instead of seeking a partner themselves. Nanda’s difficulty understanding arranged marriages, is a result of having grown up in a culture that leaves such decisions to the individual. Furthermore, if the quotes given in the article are an indication, Nanda let her biases influence her conduct …show more content…
One of the main arguments for arranged marriages is that parents, being older and more experienced, are better able to find a suitable match for their children. This belief relies on the trust the offspring has that their parents understand what would be best choice or most suitable for their children. This trust is often discouraged by the individualist ideal and rebel teen mentality sponsored by American mass-media. However, in India trust between parent and child are common. When Nanda tried helping arrange a marriage, we see that parents in India weigh many considerations when choosing partners for their children including the statuses of the individuals (including their caste and career path), the social dynamics between the members of both households, and what resources the other family and potential partner have. At least in the case given in the reading, this process can be though and produce a good marriage with stable family ties. Another argument made for arranged marriage is that since the parents are handling the marriage, the children are free to enjoy life and not worry about the details. To a lesser degree in our country, people delegate part of the relationship forming process to others by allowing friends, family, and dating sites or shows to play matchmaker. Though in general, in America the person who would be in the relationship is more involved, and has to worry about handling some of the details. In India, culture is more dependent on family structure so marriage is just as much about forming ties between families as the couple itself, which is part of the reason why the family is so involved in these
According to the author, Lizette Alvarez, in the article “Arranged Marriages Get a Little Reshuffling”, Arranged marriages are better than modern marriages and parents can choose good mates for young. First, the arranged marriage has changed a lot in modern time. Arranged marriages are more flexible because young people can meet several times in some public venues without family members. Parents and elders have become more lenient. Second, arranged marriages have more advantages than modern marriages. Arranged marriages can preserve religion and identity and help people to find their mates in the same social class. Arranged marriages can outlast modern marriages because couples can avoid social and religions disharmony. Finally, young people prefer arranged marriage to modern marriage. Young people would spend less time to find their mate because their parents, chat rooms and dating websites help find mates for them. Young people can easily find their mates who have the same education level and social status. As a young person, I do not agree with the author because other people migh...
In a scene the film Ravi goes to a wedding in India where a family member is being wedded. Ravi asked if he was happily marrying his wife, in love, and not having second doubts, all his family member expressed was no remorse, but it seemed as if it was something casual for him, it was necessary to marry, and that the bride he had chosen was approved from his parents, and the community of Patels. It seemed that throughout the film arrange marriage is viewed as normal in India, they don’t seem to ask their children if they’re happy about being arrangbeds into a marriage, it something that when you come of age you have to do. However in Indians living in America are challenging their parents and their cultures religion of arranged marriage. In America they are looking at the diverse cultures and falling love with people outside their culture, and making work, while others are still in the biodata and probably decided to marry into a Patel or other Indian name, yet still experienced dating other men before deciding. What was weird is that some Indian women don’t date until later in their college years when they are away because of the strict household their parents had and from fear of disappointing their family, and being
The factors of arranged marriages are chiefly superficial. The most important factor to consider is the reputation of the family. The marriage needs to be respectable without any scandals attached. The goal seems to be to marry into a more prestigious family than one’s own. People who marry down in class, especially women, often disappoint their parents. Some parents will even disown their children if they do not agree with the child’s choice of a partner. In Mr. Smolinsky’s case, he ridicules his daughters into arranged marriages and even criticizes them after they are married. Even though his daughters’ home situations are terrible because of him, he does not take the blame for his matchmaking but rather turns it around on his children. He brought it upon himself to marry off his children by going to a matchmaker in town. He thought a diamond dealer named Moe Mirsky would be a good choice for a son-in-law. His original intent was for him to marry Fania but his daughter, Mashah who was forever heartbroken, agreed to marry him instead. After she married an...
In the movie, A Monsoon Wedding, the marriage that was about to take place was an arranged marriage. Aditi, a young woman who is still in love with an ex-boyfriend, has agreed to proceed with an arranged marriage, planned by her parents. In the beginning of the movie she states that she is ready to settle down. Her cousin, Ria, finds it “immature” that Aditi is deciding to get married to a man who her parents have chosen for and knows little of. Ria seems to believe that marriage should be based on love. When it comes down to Aditi’s marriage, culture influences why she has decided to get married.
Epstein, Robert, Mayuri Pandit, and Mansi Thakar. "How Love Emerges In Arranged Marriages: Two Cross-Cultural Studies." Journal Of Comparative Family Studies 44.3 (2013): 341-360. Academic Search Complete. Web. 31 Mar. 2014
However, there is evidence of a positive correlation between love and the length of an arranged marriage (Epstein, Pandit, & Thakar, 2013). Furthermore, the authors summarized previous research findings in which researchers found arranged marriages had a higher level of satisfaction than love marriages in modern civilizations. The fact that both of these trends have come up shows that some western arguments against arranged marriages are founded upon inaccurate
Imagine seeing a girl no older than eight years old, being forced into marriage to a man twice her age. For many girls around the world, being forced into marriage to much older men is an everyday occurrence in their lives. The word “arranged” is not usually associated with the word “forced” but in cases like these the girls have no choice but to agree to marry. Arranged marriages are deeply embedded into the cultures of some countries, with girls being promised into marriage when they are as young as a month old and marrying before they reach maturity. About a third of the women married in developing countries are married before they are eighteen years of age.
In the book Arranged Marriage, I was intrigued with all the short stories it had. It was difficult to concentrate throughout the book without the interruption of tears in my eyes. Most of the stories deal with the experiences of the Indian women in arranged marriages. I did not admire any of the stories since most of them ended in a depressing marital experience. While arranged marriage is not commonly practiced in the United States, the women in both cultures deal with controlling husbands that reprimand their wives when they do not meet their expectations.
The Hindu wedding is a complex ceremony whose various components has all a specific meaning and has all a relation to
Modern arranged marriages are arranged by the child's parents. They choose several possible mates for their child, sometimes with the help of the child (who may indicate which photos, biographic he or she likes). The parents then arrange a meeting with the family of the mate and they will often have short unsupervised meeting (an hour long walk around the neighborhood together for example) (Arrange Marriages). The child will then choose who they w...
Nanda, S. (1998). Arranging a Marriage in India. In P. DeVita (Ed.), Stumbling toward truth: Anthropologists at work (pp. 196-204). Illinois, U.S: Waveland Press.
Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is defined in general as a social, and legal contract between two individuals that unites their lives legally, economically, and emotionally. There are several basic rules for a marriage to succeed, but the way those two persons decided to be bound by marriage defines the validity of those rules. The typical two ways a couple can end up marrying are, direct contact resulting in love, or arranged marriage. Our topic will shed light on the arranged marriage situation then comparing it to love marriage, while also bringing up the case of forced arranged marriage, and discussing its two different types, then presenting the modern arranged marriage and proving its effectiveness.
This argument of whether love or arranged marriage will be stable; it will continue to be a discussion over time. There are always people who stay loyal to their morals and traditions, and they will remain to be against love marriage. In
Each marriage comes with a different perspective and story, whether it is an arranged marriage or love marriage. Arranged and Love marriages are very similar yet different. Love is the pure feeling of attachment. Arrange marriage is like a blind date in hopes to find love. It could be love at first sight or love after a while so in somewhat way they end up being a love marriage after all because the end result is the same as they get married or find love. In this essay there will be comparison done on love marriage and arrange marriage. Each country has a different perspective on each type of marriage. I will be comparing both marriages in America and India. Love Marriages come with a responsibility of their
Many of the marriages in India are arranged. While the tradition is becoming less and less popular, parents will often search to find the right partner for their children. It is not just two people getting married,