Tough Love Parenting

I’ve been thinking much about tough love parenting these past couple of days as it has been bearing down on me hard. As a parents our first and foremost instinct it to protect our child. Sometimes that means doing the “unpopular” to save our child from a bigger headache or heartache later on. Unfortunately the receiver – our kids see our actions more as a betrayal of trust and feel a bit of hate for us in the end. From that point on we rely on faith or time that our kids would realize eventually that our actions are justified. Until that moment of realization comes it is difficult and painful for us parents see our children hurting, questioning, grieving. To see them that way pains us more than they do. If they bleed drops, we bleed oceans. This part our children do not see.

She was hurting still from her loss. Bitterness hidden underneath the breath of her jokes. It was not easy, in fact awkward for me being around her knowing I was part of her pain. At best the instigator. Both pretending nothing happened, no exchanged of hurtful words, no misunderstanding. We carried on as before – on the outside. Inwardly however I was dying. My heart was crushed. My child was in pain and I caused it! Then objectivity grips you and you remember “I am a parent, my child’s safety come first. Their ultimate happiness comes first.” Even if that joy must come from a momentary hurt. Confident someday she’ll figure it out. Joanna describes herself as a weak person, where in fact she is a lot stronger than she thinks. A beautiful soul who deserves better in life than what she deals herself. As the 60’s classic lyric goes “on a clear day you will see forever.” So will Joanna. Till then this parent would have to bear the agony of Joanna’s pain, feel the bereavement or her loss. Patiently bear watching her go through the motions of picking herself up, and dusting herself